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Guuliar's Recent Entries

Ugh not much sleep

by Guuliar

Nothing really to report with Rebecca. I thought I was hearing things before but that turned out to just be a bunch of ads. I might and might not be hearing or talking to her now. I might just be talking to myself and constructing both sides of the conversation, which would be new to me but it's still possible.

I found myself buying a bunch of kid foods yesterday but that could be attributed to just about anything. I also felt more energetic like I usually do when a friend and I go out together and do something but again could be attributed to other circumstances.

Lots of hypnosis sessions but I can't seem to listen all the way to the end. I had to listen to it at least seven times yesterday if not more. I'm totally addicted to the file. I crave listening to it, it's odd but also explainable. This is something I want to happen, but my reasons may differ from everyone else's. I've been feeling a warm feeling at the back of my skull afterwards but that could be attributed to the beats. I don't know much about them, but I think it's possible. I do feel my body randomly twitch sometimes when I'm talking to Rebecca. Once it went into kind of a half shrug when I asked her something. She's pretty smart though, but still a ten year old.

She has been kind of silent recently for some reason. She's been kind of quiet ever since we watched a movie last night that dealt with two spirits in the same body. Very emotional. It's called "The Secret" or "Si j'étais toi" for those of you who are curious. I think she's thinking, about what I don't know. It was pretty hard to sleep last night like it normally is when I can't seem to shut my mind off, accept I wasn't thinking. I managed to have a dream now that I think of it, but I'm not sure if I ran into Rebecca. She has her own room in the houses now though, I think. Normally things are just labeled for my sister and I and then a guest bedroom, but there was one that seemed to belong to someone that I don't know of.

I think the dream itself could be important too. I was back in my hometown visiting my parents. Then there was a car accident between me and someone else. I don't remember that part, but I know there was one. I had to go back to school for some reason but I couldn't remember the classes I had to go to. I blame the movie I watched and there's a pretty big part of me that wants to watch it not for entertainment but for curiosity. Anyway you'll have to watch it to understand. It'll be on Netflix until the 22nd. If you don't have it, I suggest buying it, it's good if you like drama's, which I normally don't but I loved this one. I was myself in my dream, but I wasn't. I had to go back to school, but I also had to go back to where I live now. It was the first dream I've had that dealt with trapped feelings and loss of control. I've had a few like that before, but not like this. It wasn't intense, but it seems to be the meaning. It was different.

I'm happy that I seem to be rested even though I couldn't get to sleep last night. Or we couldn't. I really do wonder what Rebecca is thinking. What do you think? I'll keep you updated.

Note: I have a stack of coins next to my computer and I told Rebecca that if she ever gained control she should knock over the coins. I came home and the coins were knocked over and I can't find the memory of the happening. I did move a few things on my desk so that might be a reason too. Restacking and I'll see if it happens again. Might be Bob messing with me as well. (Gay ghost that's following me)


Comments

- ParanoidLord

Looks like she's more emotionally mature than some of the female takeovers that people have had. Hopefully you guys can achieve some good level of integration.

- Guuliar

She's very mature for her age. Smart too. I made sure that she was since she actually turned out to be a bit of a reflection of my niece. She has the same hairstyle and looks a lot like her, but has my skin and noes. I think. She doesn't talk all the time and sometimes she likes to just think. I pick up those thoughts sometimes and there's a lot of confusion of who is who if there is a separation between us at all. I think integrating will be a good process between the both of us. I might start a different journal about this somewhere else too.

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