Dear readers,
Yesterday I checked myself into psychiatry because I don't know what to do anymore.
I seem to have heard a ForcedFeminization File 15 or more years ago.
At that time I had absolutely no idea about FF or the existence of training files or curses. To this day I have no interest in it, not even in the topic. As a trans woman, I was only interested in the stories, but nothing more. I'm 47 and just too old for these things.
I've had "tinnitus" for 15 years, which has become more and more "German" over the past year and has been clearly audible as English text for a few days. I'm German.
Thanks to sleeping in and psychotropic drugs in the last two days, I now know the text that is circling in my head.
I was supposed to be disconnected from my consciousness for 24 hours and act accordingly as a feminized slave through triggers written on a blackboard. Theoretically.
I really don't remember what happened back then after such a long time, anyway this hypnosis is active in my head now and claims I didn't react to a warning.
Apparently I triggered myself with terms like "I am a Woman", "I" or "Everything". As a result, I am now permanently paralyzed and disconnected from my subconscious. Should I reconnect or even get an erection, I would automatically be a baby, teenager, femboi, or whatever.
This voice in my head can get incredibly loud and it's torture.
She constantly comments on almost every activity and tells me how to behave alternately as a baby, teenager, femboi. Girlie, Lady and Woman are also available accordingly.
This story is organized like a game, with penalties and rewards and up and down between baby and adult lady or femboi.
The only file I remember right now was called Corrective Feminization Therapy. I don't know where it came from exactly. She started with "Hello my name is Lea". Again, please believe me I had no idea at the time.
This is a situation I can't seem to get out of on my own. Unfortunately, she also seems to be quite unknown to my therapists.
Of course I tried the usual recommendations like will, forget, cleaning files and so on. The only answer I get in my head is "I can't remove myself".
If there is a solution or at least suggestions, please let me know. I am internally prepared for all sorts of answers, but this uncertainty of what it is is driving me insane as well.
If you have an answer that my therapists should read first, please send it as a zip file, I will then forward it unread. I would be happy to contact you via email instead. But I urgently need information from someone who is familiar with this matter.
Please help me. Hoping that someone from you honestly answers
Carina