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It’s time to go back to school and learn how to become the best baby that you can possibly be! These special and important lessons are designed to help you become the helpless and incontinent baby that you have always dreamed of being. You can rest assured that by the time that you graduate, you will have transformed into an adorable toddler who needs their parents for everything in their lives and loves to calm themselves by crying and sucking on their delicious baby bottle and talking in only baby talk. You might not be fully potty trained yet, but you can feel confident that a degree in baby university will teach you everything that you need to know in your future.

1. Intro to Childish Clothing
You are a newly admitted student at the prestigious diaper university. You are excited to learn everything that you possibly can in order to start your new life as the adorable and childish little baby that you have always desired to be. Enter your first class of the day and put on the childish and appropriate outfit that your happy and loving professor hands to you and discover that you prefer to wear cute and adorable and childish clothing each and every day into your future.

2. Adult Memories
You enter into your next class, and the professor begins to explain to you how to become the perfect baby. He tells you that becoming a baby isn’t something that you can just do on your own, and that it is something that you have to learn and understand completely as you easily and naturally give up your adult memories and habits in order to become the happiest you have ever been in your life.

3. Diapers 101
Learn about how much you love to wear diapers and plastic pants in order to keep yourself safe and protected and comfortable while you are going about your day. Think about your future and how happy you will be once you are completely incontinent and carefree to go about your day without worrying about having to find a gross and intimidating adult bathroom.

4. Finding a Parent
Listen as the instructor tells you that you can never be a child unless you are completely and completely dependent and helpless on others. Remember how much you have always desired and craved to be taken care of like a little baby by your loving parent and having each and every one of your needs met whenever you have them. Know that responsibilities and adult worries make you naturally stressed out and anxious and worried, and you will do everything in your power to always be a cute and loving baby in order to never have to worry about any adult problems ever again.

5. Bottles and Baby Food
Enter the cafeteria and listen as your calm and loving lunch lady tells you how much more delicious and healthy baby food is for you over any gross and complicated and disgusting adult food. Learn as your beautiful and loving instructor teaches you about how much you love to suck on your baby bottle to calm yourself whenever you are anxious or worried in any way. Know that you need to keep a comforting and soothing baby bottle around at all times in order to calm yourself in your future if you find yourself becoming too stressed.

6. Diaper University Final
Sit down in your comfortable high chair to take the Diaper University final with the rest of your baby classmates. Find yourself becoming completely convinced of the truth of your answers that you give for the test as you wet your safe and protective and comfortable diaper easily and naturally and forget any boring and gross and inappropriate memories and actions and desires that might conflict with the baby that you have always desired to be.

xoxo,
thelibrarian

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