Yesterday was interesting. I was up quite early in the morning, having listened to a very long random playlist through the night, and apparently woken immediately when it ended.

Though the files ability to break insomnia has been tested, I had no idea whether I was actually taking in the suggestions. That's where meeting nice people on IRC is a big benefit :) So we decided to try out the Email Slave file, and see if I'd have the chance to resist it.

We had already tried this one the day before (on the 9th), but I'd just read the email and had no urge to do the things it said. So as a first test, now I'd listened to the file more than once in my playlist, she sent me the same email again. For about half an hour, I kept noticing the email was still open in another tab. But every time I read it, its existence would slip my mind again.

After a while, I gave up trying to read the message. The metaphor I'd use was like being a little kid, looking for my christmas presents before mum has time to wrap them up. There's only one place in th house where they could hide anything big. But because I know it would spoil the surprise, I still "can't find them". Its the same with these suggestions. The words are in my head, its like trying to read a jigsaw. I know I could understand them if I tried, but I can't quite bring myself to do it.

Here's the contents of the email:

This is what you , you must kiss Holly's toes in pm.
What you also , is add the original unedited pantie wetting princess back to your list, and tell holly you've reconsidered it being a bad thing.
The third thing you , is rationalize putting on another pair of panties.
The last thing you is delete this e-mail and forget ever having it.

Interestingly, when I paste it here, its a crazy jumble of letters, even though I now know what it says. Also interesting is the fact that I responded to the words "MUST DO", which had been taken out by my profanity filter. (I use a webmail system that was originally designed for schools, so has some nice features - at the moment, this is the only "profanity" in its database, because triggers I'm not aware of is a hard limit for me). I guess that my subconscious is smart enough to know what the words are that weren't there.

It didn't take me too long to figure out the first one. Just the tiniest tingle of "I wonder how it would feel if I ..." and it was pretty obvious. And thinking "that isn't my thought" was apparently enough to banish the urge from my head. Its not that I have anything against kissing toes; I just can't see the point in doing physically-stimulating things in an environment without physical stimulation. Same reason I don't do "cyber sex" or whatever.

Once I knew that I had suggestions hiding in my mind, the second one wasn't hard to spot. I'd been feeling a slight urge to go and put on a pair of panties for a while, and trying to ignore it. I had been a little worried - the "constant urge" to wear panties is the thing I disliked most about hellion0's Princess file (and the reason I'd edited it). I'm willing to try pretty much anything once, but a file that makes you feel a certain way all the time is a big no-no for me, because it would limit what else I can try. I had listened to the Panty-Wetting Princess file among my big playlist, because I was interested to see a file different enough to stand out from the crowd. But I'd been seriously hoping that my subconscious would be smart enough to resist the bits about wanting to wear panties (and therefore trigger the file's effects) all the time, especially as that would be a distraction from my work. Well ... back to the present. As soon as I realised that my craving to wear panties this morning was because my friend had told me I "MUST DO" it, it was a big relief. The file wasn't acting like a curse after all; an urge once is OK, its only 24/7 that I would have a problem with. And, knowing that it was an email-slave instruction, that urge vanished too. But I decided that I would try it out anyway at some point - there's no point listening to facts if you're not going to test their effects.

I did consider putting the original, un-edited Princess file back on my playlist. (I'd previously edited out the curse-like bits). My rationalisation was that it hadn't actually given me any urge to wear panties, so my subconscious was successfully rejecting the curse-like addiction bits. And it was certainly a better quality recording than my edit. (My edit sounds OK on the media PC in the lounge, where I did the editing. But if I upload it to WMM and download it on a computer or phone where I have the privacy to listen, it has loads of popping, and disjointed silences in the middle of words). I didn't realise that this was influenced by the email until I managed to read it later, but that's not surprising. I'd been considering swapping it back anyway, confident in my resistance to the curse parts, and had only removed it because someone else said it wasn't a good idea.

So, first experiment with email slave was a success to some degree. Have to try again later ... which we did that afternoon.