ok where to start

well how about with what just happened (and yes i will be updating daily even if its just me saying im still waiting for domething to happen because i got nothing better to do atm) , i was doing my normal rutien ive been trying to get into again of doing my chi breathing for however long and then listening to that bronks biulding binural file hopeing it would start working again , and idk i guess my mind was just wondering to much and i thought i was like 10 mins into the file cause i notised that it has reached its lowest point , but the problem there was that i was still conscious to be aware of that , and listening to the rest of it would have been pointless so i just stoped it , turns out i was only at 6 mins

but since i had started my session a little realyer than usual i thought i would have time to listen to another file i had , blinks basic indunction the binural re-upload , i had listened to this file a couple times before and it always gave me this slight sensation mostly through my arms which i suspect to be the feeling of relaxation , and then i sometimes passed out around the middle of the file i dont remember
this time i had no such luck though , i was finding it compleatly imposable to focuse listening to the file and what the guy was saying , i only got up to the sand part before i was not even paying attention that the file was talking to me and i just gave up

so then there i was , was just going to say f#$% it and go to bed , but im notising that after failing to pass out while listening to the files i find it VERY difficult to fall asleep after , or then again it always takes me a long time to fall asleep , but ivwas havinb a lot of dificulty falling sleep last night and i didnt wanna try and go through that torment again so i got back on my wii and am now updating this thing at like 2 in the morning -.-
its not as bad as it sounds though , before this is how late it was i useualy went to bed , now before when i actualy couldnt sleep because of the subject of /hypnosis/ now that was bad.........

*brb grabing food*...............

.........*and now i feel sick to my stomache/gut from the cruddy food i just had to eat , thats not much better than being hungry*...........

ok , so as i was saying , idk eather im doing something teribly wrong or i really have even more problems than i already know about

im out of options now , at first i was listening to afas (i think his name is) lucario tf file , which had the same /indunction/ as that ever so populare /lults bubble indunction/ for like 2 months every night and tne only thing that happened was i fall asleep
and now not even these other just plain /indunction/ files i have that did seem to have some effect are working , the boring story telling file i just couldnt care about this time , the /restraint indunction/ file i dled which is the /7 + or - 2 things/ /indunction/ that also has binurals in it that says its great for anylitical ppl (aka ME) doesnt work because ive listened to it a couple times and its shown me that my mind is so patheticaly weak (yet still very intelagent) it cant even think about 5 of the thing the person said to think about , which is VERY discuraging to me , but then again so is every other posable thing about this subject for me..........
and even that just plain binural file that has no words to pay attention to and anylise or commands to follow that should be forcing my weak little brain into /trance/ with ease doesnt seem to be getting through to me............................

and now idk what else to say......

im gonna go play some more yoshis island................

*fixing text on page yayz*



*UPDATE A DAY LATER* i beat yoshis island , man that final boss fight is so f#$%ing epic.............

k , well now ill be trying to listen to those files again , this is a couple hours earlier then before so maybe that will be good somehow , be back in about an hour to post how it goes and to still have no replys on anything from anybody........

also why the hell doesnt /enter/ work for this? seriously wth is wrong with the jurnals??............

......right , well , i listend to the binural file again just now , like the previous times as it was going down my mind was drifting in and out of conscious awareness going between conscious rational thought to (at least its what i think) sub-conscious random cause and effect thoughts (aka dreaming) , and before that and after waking up my arms had that feeling as described above , but really for a feeling like that im sure im only getting it because im not useing them , the only thing different about this try (other than doing it not so late and skiping the chi breathing before listening to the file (ill be doing it after still tonight)) is that i woke up before it was fineshed , i was at 23 mins when i got this itch under my left nostal and that brought me back to consious awareness , i laid there for about another minute before stoping it
and thats all i have to report , ima go play some cod4 wii before heading off to bed , wonder how long before i get some kind of reply from anybody on this blasted site , stupid forum thing i dont do forums >_> ............

also holy shit is this thing ever bugy o.o i just went out and saw mountains of `\\\\\\\\` , id go back and try to fix it but doing that on the wii now would take a very long time >_> , will have to wait till next time i can get on a com...........

*UPDATE AGAIN THE NEXT DAY* which would be now at the library

and crap i wasn\'t keeping track of time , it wasn\'t to late though cause i basicaly had the same thing happen as last night only this time (now that i got my dsi back) i didnt wake up from another i on my face until the next track in the was playing (in this case it was blinks basic indunction) , and like the first couple times i listened to this file i seems to be self aware enough to remember listening to the begining of the file but it definatly did not feel like i was conscious , at least not untill i desided i was bored and didn\'t wanna listen to anoth half an hour file so i stoped it............

if anybody\'s would like to comment you know i wanna hear it.........