last night i played some lovable classics to keep my mind from having any negativaty like i said , played some dkc which nothing can bring me down on cause i am boss at that game , then i fineshed off with beating mm3 for the game boy and watched that amaisingly satisfying credit seen , and i had no problems going to bed after wards (at like 3 in the morning >_> .....)

but today it seems that im still a little worn out and my mind still has some negativaty floating around in it. i really need to stop reading shit on this site and do something else before it kills me though >_> ..............

ok well now some good news finaly that my negativaty problem is fixed , took it a little longer than before , but i beleave i have the bad assness of earthworm jim to thank this time , and the music , man , see i had just beaten the game , and was looking up the music online to listen too , and as i was listening i notised my mind and body was really melloing out (i needed sleep but it didn\'t feel compleatly like i was falling asleep tierd , or maybe it did idk.....) , i might even go so far as to say i was in a `light trance` , so i figured this would be the perfect time to listen to a file , so i put on my headphones and listened to the binural file , this time i have no idea how quickly i passed out , wasn\'t really paying attention , i regianed some consiousness on the second loop of aquatic ambience , because before (fotgot if i mentioned this or not) i wanted to listen to that song while in that w/e state of mind , i can\'t remember much being not even half awake , but i do remember listening to it , and that while i was listening to it i almost thought it was something else entierly , for some reason listening to it in that state didn\'t bring up any of the feelings of the game or what not like it normaly does , i think i was almost wondering what song this was i was listening to because i wasn\'t getting any familiare feeling , maybe i was dreaming of something else so w/e feeling that had trancferd over to the song?..........
idk , but what i do want to know is , so , like , have i really been `trancing` all this time when listening to these files? its just because im in the mind frame that `you will know when youve tranced` and that it has hilusinations and feelings or w/e (you know , `relaxation` , heavyness , sinking that kind of stuff) , and i have been repeatedly told not to try `trancing` when im tierd or i might just fall asleep , and since im always tierd i had asumed that thats all thats been happening to me so far , any thoughts?.........