today i decided to listen to a file mid day , it was quite at the time , i first tryed the restraint indunction again hopeing to get it to work this time but i wasn`t even close , i could try to think about 2 maybe 3 things at a time but if when i tryed more than that my mind just wound up going all over the place with half nonseance then it just ended up thinking about nothing........
i just dont understand why i cant even make the bare minamal processing capabilaties of thinking about 5 things , which aperantly all human minds are capable of doing at least that , some double that , me barely half of again the bare MINIMAL..............

so fater failing to listen to that file again i listened to the binural one , kept it on a loop , passed out like useual , somewhere half way through the second loop i was interupted by noises but i kepted listening , and woke myself up right before the file started comming back up...........

still waiting for an aswer from previous entry..............

ok well i just listend to the restraint indunction all the way and i think it went bad , failed again at the thinking obviously , or to pass out , kinda hard to do when im trying to use my mind like that , but i was getting that feeling i previously described though.
now what *insert insulting name here* doesnt tell you is that after your stugeling so hard to think of a punch of simalar shit he just goes like \\\"ok you can stop thhnking now\\\" , hurmmurhurmmrage......... and then he trys to do some visualising shit with counting down both of which im against , \\\"your standing at the top of stairs and theres a bed at the bottom\\\" , since im still consious i know im supposed to be useing my mind to simulate/make happen all the stuff hes talking about till i pass out , but i could barely think about that let alone simulate it , i just ended up having all wanky feelings and oh ya i remember now , something odd happened , the last time (or was it second last? im sure it was from this but can\\\'t remember exactly) he listed off all the things i was supposed to be thinking about i gave it a last ditch effort and think i actualy migh have gotten up to 4 things but i asume for now the reason for it happening is that my un-explaind pathetic mind couldnt handle it so my eyes (and my mind too i asume) started darting very forcefully and was getting to the point of it being painfull (that happens sometimes when i actualy try to make this kinda of thing happen cause its an intresting feeling so dont go fliping off the handle that i shouldnt try hypnosis or anything) and then everything just kinda stoped and i had my eyes open and i was just lieing there half blank and half thinking in the back of my head about what just happened and why i opened my eyes , also because of that topic in the geniral forum about multiplu personalitys that i read the first page of (and no more because of bad things) i also had thoughts about that running through my head while i had my eyes open for an un-explained reason , it took me about quarter-half a min before i closed them........

now there was at some point in the file what he was saying did maybe give a tiny bit of a feel that it was actualy effecting me byond it just being words , but since like i just said in my comment , because i was still conscious he then was saying things that was pissing me off making me wanna revolt , some things he said \\\"you will enjoy such and such\\\" , my reaction \\\"you think you can tell me what im gonna like? fuck you\\\" , then him talking about the instant `trance` trigger is never good because im still against that , though it would still be nice in a way if it worked because then something would have finaly , but ya im prety such i had some choise thoughts about that as well but i cant remember , i do however remember after he did the counting back up for a split second there i did feel an impulse to snap my head phones in half , hhmmmmm...................