Well, I fucked up. Maybe not too bad, maybe horribly. We'll have to see. I've been into hypnosis for a long time, and in the last two years I've been acting on it as a fetish (I'm 20 at the moment, if you're curious.) However, I never used the files on this site before, mostly because, well, I was intimidated. I preferred to use things like Virtual Hypnotist or a Spiral program available on the Hypnopics Collective. That way, I always chose just what I was doing to myself, right down to the text. However, I always wanted to change myself in a way I normally wouldn't like or do. I'd been perusing the file directory on this site, and for a while, the CurseCum file caught my attention. I never tried it before, because I was downright terrified. Not only was it something totally against what I like, but because it was a curse! So I decided not to; instead, I read the comments from people who are totally addicted to their own cum now... making me even more nervous about trying it, naturally. Well, this morning, after masturbating, I decided to take a little taste (did not listen to a file yet) and I absolutely hated it. It kind of tasted like salt water at first and had a very metallic, unpleasant aftertaste. However, it got me thinking... I've always had a fetish for being controlled, and changed. What if I could be made to love licking up my cum? It would certainly keep spare clothes/bedsheets clean, and the idea of being changed turned me on so much. I'm straight, but I was so curious about what it'd be like to enjoy eating my own cum. So about an hour and a half ago... I listened. I'm a pro at falling into trance now (hey, if you can fall into trance while awake and reading text on a screen, you can fall into trance doing anything.) and went really deep. I didn't expect that because I was turned off by EMG's voice (again, I'm straight). However, by the time the induction finished, any urge to move my limbs amounted to mere spasms; I couldn't actually move my body. I knew at that moment that my mind was open and it was too late to back out. I never thought such a straightforward technique would be so effective. As the file went on, I started picturing myself scooping cum off myself and eating it. A phantom taste appeared again as he described it, and the more he spoke the more I wanted to taste it again. I felt weak, and helpless as he told me that I was addicted, that every taste would only make me want it more... and despite a growing anxiety of what was to come I was incredibly aroused by the whole thing (however, I didn't become erect; I was so relaxed that I couldn't summon an erection if I tried.) It felt like a roller coaster, right down to the end of it being the part with the most twists and turns. As he emphasized over and over that I was trapped, cursed, irreversibly changed, I squirmed as if to try to resist, but I found that I couldn't. Still helpless, still hypnotized, still more than willing to call EMG "master" (something that, again, I was never comfortable with before) When I awoke, I obeyed his command to immediately seek orgasm. I don't know if I "had" to, as he said... maybe if I tried, I could have resisted. But I didn't. It took a minute for my sleepy cock to wake up from the trance, but once I did, I stroked furiously, images of cum filling my mind. When I finally did cum all over my stomach, I immediately scooped it up without even thinking about it and licked it up off my fingers. Over and over until all but the tiniest trace was left on my belly. The taste seemed a lot more neutral this time, and while the aftertaste was still a bit unpleasant, I have yet to make any move to get something else in my mouth to clear the taste. In fact, now that it's been a while since I came, I already want to masturbate again, and the desire to eat my cum is growing on me. The obedience is reinforcing the desire. Trouble is, I'm feeling regrets afterward about the Curse portion. I'm wishing I could have tried to find a file that simply had me eat+enjoy, not cursed. I deleted CurseCum from my computer. I decided that I would not listen again, and hope that over time the effects would fade. Perhaps they will; I actually hope they do. But I know for a fact, without any doubt, that I am doomed tonight. I am going to masturbate again when I post this, and I am going to lick every drop up that I can. It doesn't taste good... but yes it does at the same time. I'm thinking that I'll get involved with another file, something else to obey that will take my mind off of this curse. I haven't decided yet; probably something more extreme, but different. If I focus on obeying that instead, I may "forget" that I am a cumloving slave and must eat my own cum. Did I really just write that? ...shit.