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CollectiveHKF's Recent Entries

Oookay, apparently I suck at explaining things

by CollectiveHKF

Apparently I'm confusing the hell out of people with my Journal entries. Okay, let me run down the basics one more time: Yes, I was originally repulsed by the taste of my cum. Yes, I wanted to be changed. Yes, I wanted CurseCum, and yes, at first I was happy with the results. The problem was, afterwards, I had "buyer remorse"... I started to wonder if I had made my decision too impulsively; what if I wasn't ready to be addicted to my cum? What if I wanted to change my mind? Could I do it? So I spent the last day after listening to the file trying to short circuit the curse, hoping that just one listen wouldn't be addictive enough to change who I am. After sincerely struggling not to eat cum all day, I am finally convinced that I am now a cumlover, at least my own, and that I enjoy eating my cum whenever I orgasm if I can. I don't think the "jerking off just to get cum" stuck, but I was always a horny bastard and jerk off all the time so what would I know? Anyway, after resisting as long as I could (not really a long time anyway) I've decided I'm just not going to fight it anymore. I'm going to work with what I've got now, because fighting these urges takes serious conscious effort. Perhaps it's sheer laziness but I'd rather lick up my cum than spend 10 minutes agonizing over how to get rid of it without touching it with my hands which would immediately make me suck it off... forget it. I'll listen, I'll obey, and I'll be a cumlover... my own, anyway ;)

Comments

- nomad1

Welcme dude..

- Konton

Good. I understand the buyer's remose thing, and pretty much everything else that's going on with this due to paying attention. I'm just happy you found a happy medium that you can work with and be happy about...ish

- iamli3

k , i seem to have forgotten the root of what i wanted to get at so i'll just do the next best thing and take it bit by bit

so why do you think you would want to change your mind then? especially if as you said you actually didn't have a problem with the file at all?

hmm , well you wanna know what i think? probably not but im not gonna let the thought go to waist so here it is , it is to my understanding that human sermon is an acquired taste , and that that one file listen only convinced you that it was working , and that it actually hasn't yet at all , such a conclusion can be drawn from your efforts after wards to not do as the file says and succeed in doing so
so with the idea of the whole cum eating thing in mind you proceeded to do just that which i think possibly was enough to build up your tolerance of it so now that with that idea still stuck in your head , with the reaction no longer being negative it must be because you like it now? because the file said you would like it now? makes sense right?

so that's just my uneducated guess on this matter , though im still kind lost on these ideas such as "I've decided I'm just not going to fight it anymore" , i just don't see there being anything to "fight" in this case , on that note anyway
from another note i should feel jellos over you because with liking it or at least not disliking it anymore you get a reward for fapping which includes being filled with sustenance (aka FOOD lol) instead of just losing some through that action , where's guys like me feel no less happy or hungry after masturbating ourselves :/ .......
lol........

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