Make sure to have a look at the post before this one....

I should point out, I've been feeling kind of "dead inside" lately. A day or two after my last comment, I'd discovered my PC had fried and didn't react to it too well. Looking back, I was so deep into everything, I was probably closing in on giving out blowjobs simply out of reflex. I couldn't even breathe without sounding slutty, every last thing about me was starting to turn sexual.

Between the loss of expensive hardware & the realisation I could no longer post here or modify my programming loop stuff, I wound up having panic attacks and a final emotional meltdown. I STILL have no way to modify my programming, and the lack of a medium where I could vent my sexual frustrations has left me unable to really stimulate myself too well or even dare come close to an orgasm....nothing for over a month at all....

My family doesn't know why the hell I crashed exactly....I've been avoiding my player, makeup, & even wearing bland clothes since it all happened. Going from making cock-sucking gestures with my mouth around other people to losing a big part of my life & a part of my program....it's really left me empty inside....even now.

Everything is a mess now. My personality has kind of reverted back to being a bit of an uptight bitch about things. I lost my job, and the rent is looming over me like a dark cloud. I'd love a job as a psychologist, hell, maybe even a hypnotherapist, but most places won't take someone in their early twenties seriously. My sister has taken up drinking and has been getting drunk out of her mind to cope with the stress....I've really only felt "empty" for the most part.