Sorry for the long wait, I was trying to get a little bit more of a feel for what my recent experimenting has done before posting anything definite. There have been moments throughout the week where that trigger kicked in "I MUST POST SOMETHING", but usually while I'm busy and cant get to a PC......then it wears off later in the day and I forget the site even exists! ~lol
I've been trying to isolate a ~lot~ of the brainwashing & suggestions to keep myself from spacing out when it counts, and for the most part, I've been content with being all intellectual again. I've been casually seeing the guy I met towards the beginning of the month, and it feels nice to have someone who respects your smarts. The last thing I want is to whore myself out to someone like that & then have no memory of it, so I've otherwise been treading carefully with all of my programming floating around in my head.
I have SO much more control now than I did before, but some things keep lingering - I've had a few nights where I'll try to sleep because I'm worn out from all my running around during the day, but the SLUT file's suggestion that hands are poking and me everywhere will kick in and......I guess for lack of a better description, turn me into some bimbo/slut again. It's not like it isn't fun, but slutting out right as I'm trying to sleep can get a little annoying....
I have not caught myself having a "giggle fit" for a while now, but it seems like the more effort I try to control everything I put in my head, the harder it fights back. Aside from the random urges to post stuff, there have been odd moments where all reason just exits my mind and....I honestly don't even know how to describe it, as it feels even stronger than it used to when I lost my holiday months - it just leaves me 200% starving for sex & wanting to be some airheaded pornstar or whatever.....and then the feeling passes. Ultimately, I guess I'd probably be MUCH more cautious of "curse" files in the future....I probably didn't take them as seriously as I should have back when I first loaded them up and read the descriptions. I cant for the life of me shake some of the suggestions they've planted.
I obviously could just wipe everything out, especially having seen that new "Delete Everything" file, but I'm worried that it would remove more than I'd want it to since a lot of my memories & personality is wrapped up within all of the suggestions & whatever else now. At the very least, I'm confident I can go about my day normally (without flashing my panties at everyone) & leave the bimbo stuff for whenever I'm in the mood to screw around or feel comfortable letting that side of myself slip in front of someone I trust.