It's not even 24 hours later, and I've checked my email for a new hypno file probably a dozen times. What is funny, or worrying, is that as I fell asleep I vowed not to check my email at all. And then I compromised and decided to check it after a full day had passed. And then I woke up three hours later to check and see if Master had sent me a file.

The same thing happened this morning. I woke up, promised myself not to check, and then I found my hands reaching for my phone and going to my email...

It feels crazy to want something so much and also to fear it and want to run away. I find it humiliating that I am so desperate for His attention. I am not sure how much of this I can take... and I can't wait to find out.