I feel calmer tonight. I got good advice from my friend, darkenedav, and put myself on a schedule to check for messages. Twice today I've used darkenedav's trick of taking an MP3 to distract me from craving an email from master. Plus, I'm thinking about new triggers to install. I need to think hard what feels right for me. Haha somehow all the files I'm attracted to lead to submission. go figure.