well here i am again feeling lost and alone listening to one of my favorite groups for when i feel this way evanescence yeah emo i know but at least it is able to express for me how i feel in the music and lyrics anyways guess it's just another night for me of a long string of nights where i feel this way. kinda comes with the teritory of being a mtf Tgirl, specially one who has no way of doing anything about it though have been on here listening to quite a few files but sadly so far none have worked for me and wish so badly that some of them if only even one of them would work so i could become less ugly and much more pretty and feminine and girly than what i am now, even thinking about it makes me start to tear up some cause it has caused me so much pain for so long sometimes it seems life is not worth living at times like this but then at others and those are far and few between it seems like i may find the light at the end of the tunnel or the holy grail i have been looking for witch so far i have not and even now feel like giving up and just letting go of it all and ending the hurt and the pain and the tears. well i am probly going to just listen to my music and sit here and cry another night like most others but that seems to be how life is, alot of pain and hurt and hardly anything worth it. maybe one day i will find it but i don't think i ever will T.T