(Ah, by the way, make sure to read the previous jounal post's comments)

I just realised it this morning. And does this site have like, a subliminal something-or-other running somewhere on the page? My head was all clear a little bit ago, but now it feels like all of my thoughts & stuff are spinning around and getting flushed out of my brain..... Anyways, I realise I must have been in a deep trance while I was in bed earlier, but right as I was getting ready to pull the sheets off of myself, I realised that I cant remember anything......mainly about myself. I know I'm at home right now......today's a holiday, I didn't spend the weekend with my BFF for once, and there's a party later today & another one later this week that I'm going to, but I cant seem to remember anything about my life no matter how hard I try - I'm having a hard time even recognising old journal postings as my having written them.......even though I know I'm the one that wrote them.

I know vague bullet-point kind of stuff: moved around a lot, parents divorced, did stuff with psychology & school, but now I don't remember much about myself before hooking up with my BFF recently......and even that's starting to get a little fuzzy - it's like we've been together forever and even though I have the vague feeling I've done other things & know random facts about myself, I have no context to attach to any of it. My dad isn't often in my life these days so much as my mom is, and there's even a lot of him that I'm having trouble placing.

I'm going to post this here, but as a bit of a reply to Gorgo's comment on the previous journal entry, it took me a while to understand what you were getting at & pointing out, but I think I got it now. I didn't even notice that until I read it back a few times and finally noticed. There have been a few times - parents splitting, sister was rather sick in the hospital, and college since we were learning about stuff anyways - I've actually seen a therapist. I remember all three times too that the doctor person was really pleased to tell me that I was really smart & healthy and that nothing was at all out of the ordinary - even my doctor at physicals & the nurses are constantly telling me how amazed they are at my level of healthiness (probably due to my lack of drugs, smoking, & semi-oriental diet - America is a terrible place to buy food these days). My point being, if I (or by extension, my BFF) have some sort of DID-like thing going on, it's probably from all of the brainwashing. It happens rather frequently too - I triggered it last night somehow & wound up running through just about every command I've ever dropped into my head before I was finally able to rest.