Then, yesterday i fanlly enden whn i wanted to end.

Of course there were several thing that affected me to finally feel heelpless, without control, empty, hummiliated, aroused, loosing control. complete control.... beign a submissive.

First i will say more or less what file's help me to end this and another thinngs i used to finally reach my objective. First i used 'Hypno bubble', So i could grasp the feeling and the mood, of course it didn't work a lot, even when i used the test i din't have the incontrolable urge to post in the official tread my experience, Then i used tons of tons of self hypnpsis to brown down my defenses wbut it didn't work, even i used for hours hypno bubble and nothing, i tried trig chastity, to see how it feel but nothing, i even listen to various videos on youtube to put me in the mood but nothing, although one thing persisted and it that when i am using my submissive trigger, sometimes and rare ocassion i refer my self like whore, and scum. But i persisted i wanted to know to see if my objective was possible. I even begin to used a site of hypnosis machine by the name of Nimja, that it have various inductions, and wonderfull thing that i could use to reinfoce the idea of beign submissive, althoug it worked it did little to what i wanted. Then i found, A program called I-doser, i in the past months have begin used binaural beats to meditate better and help me to enter in trance. But idoser had better binaural beats, so in the beginning i used to concentrate better, it wasn't later that i found, that some of their doses could replicate the effect of drugs, and i remember that some drugs can induce very powerfull suggestive and hypnotic effects. Then i decide to use one of the drugs to induce a better trance, for some reason i couldn't do anything with self hypnosis because my mind wand body was so relaxed using doses that i could't order to do anything i wanted, some times the only things i could do was to reinfoce to triggs that i have. to make them more powerfull. I in the end decided to stop with the meditation one's, and go for the one's that could induce a suggestive trance. I decided that i could used Nitrous Qh. After i used it i dind't feel nothing, then i decided to satck the uses, after the second time my mind was dizzy i have lost a little my equilibrium, and after some test i found that i could't move my mind of my leg, no mather what i did, then after, putting the order to move my hand's i decided to loop nitrous, with some willforce, and put my self in front of the computer. And when to the Nimja induction site, that have some adult modules, then i put the nitrous dose in loop. And then my mind oppened. To this point i feel, like i was loosing all my control, although i could do some resistance, my body moved almost in automatic., i beginned to lose control, to feel increible aroused like i never feel, and to obey everything that the it was saying in the window of the computer... ...to this point i don't remember exactly what happen'd i just know that i was like empty and obedient, i have little control, only to control whne to orgasm and when to cum, then tried a lot of things of the site, then at one point in the window apeear the message that i will awaken the trance, i as finally free i grasped more control, then my submissive site went crazy.... ... Remember when i tould you that i could't grasp the feeling or lose control when i listen to files like Hypno Bubble?,and another things?, well my mind beggin to use all my trigger to obedience, and begin to repaeat some of the lines multiple time's, and this time it worked a lot!, all my body feel like a big erogenous zone, then i went to the nimja site for the humilliation file script, and then my mind, i begin to chan the hypno buble meanwhile the notrousQh whas looping, i couldn't grasp my memories all i was doing was out of control.... all my training to be a submissive was exploting in my mind, then for what i remeber i tried one chastity script, i was trying to NOT cum on my boxers, then i give up, i could'nt control the feelings, i could't control my self, i gived up then i losed control and then cummed, and orgasmed a lot.... Like a lot A LOOOOOOOOT, to the point it begin to hurt, after soo much pleassure, then i could grasp the controli reinfoced like one millions of time my dominating side, then closed the site stopped the loop, and beggin to breath a lot. then i stopped i feeled likei was drunk, like when you are soooo drunk and then you begin to feel bad for the things you did when drunk?, well i was feeling awfully like that, like i have one hell off hangover. i went and changed my boxers that were bathing in cum and my head beginned to eached, then i used the Reset File of idoser, it stopped the feeling i still have this feeling of strupidness of the stupid things that i did, but whn i tried all my trigger stop working, and didn't want to work, then i wen to the computer so i could go to sleep and felt in the dreamworld, when i found soemthing intresting... A file have ended to download during my reset dose, i was scared at hell, and i then remeber that during my drunk state i download a file that i want to dodge because i found it to dangerous to my mind.... it was the SCUM CORE of zapnosis... i deleted the file and went to sleep.... Interesting enough i have one lucid dream that i was dominating a girls that i didn't know doing hardcore things that i feel that i don't like to much, i like to play more with the mind of a sub, bu to hell i was treating like a cow marking it putting some piercing, wipping it, then i begin to brainwash her, and a lot of things that the moment i have forgotten. ------------ You know yesterday i wanted to delete all my triggers, i wantedto forget everything of bdsm, i feeled sooo bad and the headache, that i have in that moment was soo bad that i wanted anything to do with bondage again. Today i feeled better, and then i begin to see that i have finally reach what i wanted,and my mind was going north with the possibilities of what i could do in a S&m play hour, heck even in normal sex i could trick my partner to feel better with some Nlp, and some tricks that i have learned having sex and doing massage to induce a suggestive trance, i decided to recuperate my trigger's and accept the submissive side of my self, so i could experiment. Today in a site of challenge's i found the concept of Switch in Bondage that is a person that could exercise the submissive and the dominant role of S&m, i decide that i liked the concept, and shoot for it. Right now?, i Feel happy, and i confimr that this site works, but not exactly is easy for all people. I even decided to look for email slave's, and maybe wirte a file to the site?, i think i'm ready :D, or not? xD