My finance-y stuff went boom yesterday - I was denied, so now I have to go back to the drawing board here. Blah~ Totally got my hopes up and everything. I was doing everything I could not to start crying over the phone when the news came in....I was that close. It's sooo totally like an extra knife in the gut sitting & reading everyone's Tumblr blogs {see previous posts....I think?}.

Regardless, I think my scatterbrained self finally settled on some exact numbers - 850cc, high-profile implants & under the muscle if at all possible. Every single pic and example I cant find at that size look totally awesome & just right for me. Any smaller and my brain just says "those dont look right or are like, kinda deflated", but any larger and I think the poroportions or whatever would just be way too off. I think there's a point where they stop looking fun and fake & start looking.....heavy and awkward. I think half the time I come across pronstars that make me think "eeeeww" it's because their tits are too huge for their frame & they injected their lips like waaaaay more than they probably should have......but I wouldn't mind having enough plump up there to cusion a nice thick cock either.

I've got a weird separation/dual-personality thing going right now. I'm eaither the "business" version of myself that robots off her job and talks to people, or I've got my thinkies shut off and am starved for cum. I have SUCH a fixation on my chest now too...I'm such a horny slut.....I cant stop touching myself - even at work. Even in "serious/business mode", I cant escape the brainwashing. It's like it's sunk in so deep now that every inch of me is leaking bimbo. I can still function, but....when did I get some dumb and helpless? I cant do anything complicated on my own. Whether I'm good at it or not, I'm at least confident about sex. I CANNOT see myself working anything other than some kind of porn for a long-term career.

My BFF got back from her New Year vacation & told me she's about 95% positive ~someone~ had to see her totally naked & getting fucked up against a window - the phots of the hotel room were AWESOME. They had to run out and grab some Windex in the early morning to the room-cleaners didnt see the mess they made all over the place (also photo'd). I cant stop sucking her tits when I see her now, much less stop thinking about doing it once we're done.