These days I spend most of my time waiting for my mistress. She likes to surprise her slaves, she enjoys beeing a domme too, I can tell! And this is why I love her so much, she is a true one... I think that she probably likes her slaves to suffer for her... but she is not evil! don't missunderstand me, she is like every domme, she likes infinite love toward her, she needs it, to feel pleasure as much as we need a little cruelty to feel pleasure... in a d/s relationship I realized quite long ago that both domme and sub work quite the same actually, psychologically we are not so different, we usally demand a lot of attention from our owner or slave, the domme orders, the slave does with pleasure and excitation and beg for more orders... it is kind of a circle of concern, like in any relationship actually... as a sub I can say that i love to suffer for her, Very much actually!... I realized something else too. And it is quite new. Domme and sub are very exclusive in their way of loving, they both want to be the olny thought of the other. I think. Actually this is how i used to think.. I feel quite different right now, knowing that she has other slaves give me pleasure actually, it really does! beeing part of a "sisterhood" becomes a burning desire... i wish she even had an army of slaves actualy. I would be one of them, no more no less... As a slave you can crave and wait for something desperately, I can try to trick my mistress to get it too... (see how evil i am!) but if you get it the way you want, the pleasure dissapears! As you become the one who demanded and got, your source of pleasure that comes from giving up your will, offering your soul, vanishes! and you feel sad... what we love the most as a sub? Giving up control with any hesitation. But it doesn t mean it is always easy to do... and this is where hypnosis helps... i like to talk like that sometimes, to think out loud, i love to share ideas. just needed to explain my thoughts... it is part of a journal actually... I ll be waiting for you mistress. In the chatroom. Your little Judy, on her knees at your feet...