Tonight I listened three times to Miss Eleanor's file. Because of personal circumstances I felt today the craving to disappear in her, and when I started listening, my thoughts changed from "i want to disappear in Miss Eleanor" to "i will disappear in Miss Eleanor" to "i am disappearing in Miss Eleanor", until there were no more thoughts. And even if had consciousness all the time, i had no need to think, and i only visualized the switch in my mind going to OFF to when Miss Eleanor ordered it. I felt that time i had reached new depths in my submission. I reported Miss Eleanor, and she ordered me some additional tasks to reinforce my commitment. I obeyed her while reporting my doings, and after that I fell sleep repeating my acceptance to fear and my submission to her. I woke up a couple of hours later, and all that was in my mind was Miss Eleanor ownership of my mind, body and pleasure, my acceptance to her care and orders, and my will to surrender entirely. I was in bed, facing down, submitting, legs open and arms coming limp at the sides of bed, in a posture of total surrender, repeating all those ideas until I fell sleep again. This morning I brought the headphones to work, in case I need to listen to her file once more. I reported her my late night from work, and i spent he morning working and keeping an eye on the phone. Her answer came just when i was taking a break from work, finding a quiet place and considering to listen to her file... As she wrote me, I started listening while chatting and then she gave me the order to shut down. I found myself paralyzed in an uncomfortable position, neck bent and thumbs hovering over the screen. I didn't feel the need to move, and i didn't during the 20 minutes left of the file, just staring at the screen, body locked in place. I still don't know if i didn't move because i didn't wanted to, or because i couldn't... I remember wanting to touch the screen, but not doing it, and just keeping immobile and blank until allowed to release. Day by day Miss Eleanor gets more deeper into my mind, programming me even if i am not sure of it...