I can't get the thoughts of this out of my head. It seems to be the only thing that gets me worked up, seeing a guy regress, fall behind, and get dumb, and that accompanied by the sheer masturbation pleasure. I want it, but can't have it, because I am too sacred to do it, I have too much to loose by being dumb, my whole life, really. I continue to dabble in temporary files, with limited success. The truth is I dont know what I am really looking for, I just know what makes me so excited.