After posting my last entry, I had a chat with Miss Eleanor and we commented on it, and she said “Next time you´ll eat it”.   The night before yesterday I didn´t do any training, just basic self trancing to deepen my state and reinforcing a new set of basic concepts that I had developed to help me in the process of submitting. Yesterday night I had the need to listen to Miss Eleanor files to strength my submission and programming. I did an initial process of self trancing to get ready and recall those core ideas, setting the mind state for profound listening. Then I started with the subliminals file on continuous loop, while repeating to myself the truths and foundations of my programming. It´s a short file, and I lost count of how many times it repeated during the hour or so I was listening to it before coming out spontaneously. As the loops continued, my own ideas were getting more and more sparse. I was feeling how the energy was drained out of me, progressively unaware of my own body and breathing. I never lost consciousness, but I became a mere spectator of what was happening to me, as thoughts ceased at one point and I just kept there listening blankly, feeling how I was deepening all the time to the almost unintelligible sounds from the file. At one point my eyes rolled back hard in my head, causing some discomfort, but unable to stop them, feeling how they were moving. After a long time they relaxed and came down, and I found myself blinking slowly, noticing the light from the window when I opened my eyes, fading in and out as my eyelids would keep opening and closing on their own. Then my eyes rolled up again, and I could feel myself blinking and the air in my eyes, but no light whatsoever. After a while my eyes were back to normal, eyelids closed, but moving fast and continuously as I listened. I knew I wanted to listen to the other file, and to Miss Eleanor voice, but couldn’t get myself out of this state of blankness and inactivity of body I was in, until I had a deep strong breath and I regained movement again.   I put on the other file from Miss Eleanor, slipping into the same state of deep trancing from the go, and went through all the process guided by her words, feeling time slow really down, the pauses between her sentences longer and longer. I took all the journey by her side, feeling every word and suggestion stronger than any other time, just flowing and letting go, and coming out of the trance when instructed. It was really late, but I had the need to keep on, so I entered the chatroom but something else was going on, and after some time I decided just to try to sleep. I started to masturbate repeating my programming foundations, but again it didn´t feel right being on bed and doing that. I had to kneel and start over, this time visualizing myself at work in the morning, going to a private place and logging in the chatroom, finding Miss Eleanor and telling all about this programming session of mine, and then receiving her order and blanking out as it will happen one day, and coming out of the trance with no recollection of anything, but the proof of my deep mindless submission before my very eyes. And visualizing this I came on my hand. And then I ate my cum. I didn´t find any pleasure on doing it, it didn´t arouse me. It was something that had to be done, and I simply did it, as Miss Eleanor said it would be. Then I slipped into sleep, trying to rationalize all that has happened, until I thought “just accept it”, and thinking of my true name, I fell asleep.