It´s kind of hard to recall last night events, as they have a dream-like quality to them, and the longer time passes, the blurrier they seem… Those past days I have been doing regular self trancing, and listening to Miss Eleanor files, always having deep and mindless experiences while listening to them, and even in some cases feeling the need to masturbate afterwards to relief the built up excitement, and in a couple of times, having the impulse(?) to lick off the cum from my hand.   But last night it was something different and meant another step in the right direction to the desired mindless obedience: I listened to the subliminals file in a loop for some time, getting deeper into it, letting go of thoughts except the ones associated with the suggestions I was soaked into, and feeling this time how there were brief moments when my consciousness would get washed away by the sounds in my ears and in my mind. I was not the sensation of drifting off, almost sleeping as in other times, but a sudden increase in the white noise filling all my thoughts and wrapping them in a blanket of nothingness.   And then I came out of this trance state naturally, and still listening to the file, without really thinking about it –or at least, not having the memory of making the decision to do it- I keeneled and masturbated thoughtlessly, not really focusing on any thoughts or even the pleasure, just doing it and listening to the sounds and almost hidden words. I was doing this for a while, not cumming, just stuck in a state or pleasure and arousal neither increasing or ending, until I decided to stop and try to sleep. But lying down in bed, I couldn´t stop repeating in my head the same words and ideas from the files, and after some time I kneeled again, not aroused the least bit.   I started to masturbate again, this time repeating the mantras and Miss Eleanor truths, and in no time I was cumming and licking it as a reflex, not liking it or finding it pleasurable, but doing it because I had to. And then I was back to bed again, but even after the release, I couldn´t drift off to sleep, and my mind state was the same I had while listening to the files. I knew I hadn´t the earphones on, but the sensations of muted outside sounds was there, and my mind was repeating over and over the loop of words and thoughts and absolute truths from Miss Eleanor, and I was aroused again, kind of stuck in this constant loop of obedience and pleasure. At some point I slide into sleep without being conscious of it, and when I woke up this morning, all these details were blurry and half remembered, as if dreamt, and I had to make a conscious effort to recall them back to write them down before they fade away.   Last night was another landmark in my quest, I am sure. I am excited to continue the journey…