Not many journal entries of late, but that doesn't mean I don't continue with the listening to the files and trancing daily (or nightly, to put it more accurately). It's only that no remarkable advances have been achieved that needed to write about. But today I felt like updating my journey... A few days ago I did my usual file listening and trancing, and I went deep as usual, although not losing myself yet... I came out after several loops, and I found myself in need of sleeping, but restless to do so. I tried the old "sleeping by sexual exhaustion trick", but none of my usual fantasies/imagery seemed to arouse me, until I kneeled and started to repeat the words from Miss Eleanor and bingo! Instant, strong arousal. I liked the connection that had been created that time, even if I had came out of the listening with no special thoughts or desires... Last night I did another long session of looped listening to Miss Eleanor's file, going deep in the first one and deepening in the next ones. By the third loop I felt something new, I hadn't experienced yet. The continuous eroding of my identity and my need to think made me feel like if I was a well worn out pebble. As the third loop started I felt myself smooth and featureless and rounded, so simple and basic in mind and body as I could be, and the sensation remained for most of the file duration, although random thoughts started to come in by the end and I went out of that state when told to. Afterwards I kneeled and repeated how I was owned until I came, and then licked the cum off my hand, not liking it a single bit, but knowing I had to to commit to Miss Eleanor. Still, not being able to get lost for good in her word... I am starting to turn to meditation of late to get the hang of losing the self, and apply it to my training.