I tried to wrap paragraphs with marks etc. to no avail. I'd appreciate advice it someone can help.

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Hi, All,

It's been so long since my last entry. I've traveled . . . I suppose that's my excuse.

I'm not sure how much has changed. I should be getting more female every day. Sept 23 is my big day, the day Master Jack said that I would feel like a woman. But to me, the changes don't feel like much. I'll use a couple of email messages that I sent to update.

July 26:

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In the in-between awake and asleep state, I am always a girl. :-) Seems it's more in my consciousness, too. Does that mean I'm more female?

Big news (for me) . . . I went out as my true self!!! I asked a girl friend to help me. I dressed, and she helped me "touch-up". Then, we went out to eat. OMG!! I was SO nervous!! Basically, my first time. It was fun! I flirted with the waiter!!! :-) Well, I tried. I'm sure that, more likely, I was embarrassing. Happy, anxious, scared, and a bit drunk!!

I've been practicing makeup at home and bought another outfit. Practicing mannerisms, too. We plan to go back next week, and I am hoping to get a date!! I know that's pushing it, but I kinda feel that it's now or never. I'm kinda giddy about it.

If nothing else, I think that Master Jack files are helping me to lose some of my monumental inhibitions. When I see men in public, I've been looking more at their crotches and thinking about their cock. Can I say this? . . . Girls just want to have fun!!! :-)

August 1:

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Master Jack said that I'd be a girl by 23 September and that it would come sooner than I would think. It's NEXT month! OMG I hope it happens!!!! I dreamed that I had a date and sucked him off. lol I hope to make that happen in real life soon. My wife is starting to notice that something is happening. She has asked a few questions. It appears that she believes me more now -- when I say that I intend to transition to be a woman. It remains to be seen how our relationship will change. It could get better.

August 5:

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I feel more comfortable going out as female me. I've been out 3 times now. I am a bit surprised that I feel (and sometimes act) sluttier than I expected. When I started this journey with you, I wanted the female part. I didn't need the slutty part, but I suppose that comes from Master Jack files. This is probably a good thing, just unexpected.

During the file, I see a blackboard in my subconscious mind. I always write "SLUT" on it, but I didn't think writing this would make any difference.

Well, last night I had a date. Yes, it was the waiter from a few days ago, so my flirting must not have been too embarrassing. We went to a movie. On the way home, we stopped, we made-out, and I gave him BJ!!!! OMG!!! I can honestly say that I never thought THAT would happen!! It just felt right. Besides being fun (of course), it helped me to differentiate between him and me. I was acting female!!

Does this make me a slut? I've never asked myself THAT question either. We have another date in a couple of days.

Last night (7 August)

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Just got home from my date. I'm too excited to sleep right now. We went out to eat and a movie. I don't remember much about either except giggling at Conrad. It was SO fun! Not sure why sex comes to mind, but it did before and while I was with Conrad, and it does now. I'm rationalizing it as me feeling female and being with a male, which is about gender, but I guess also about sex.

OK. I'll just say it! I gave him a BJ at the movie. :-) After, he wanted to give me something to remember, so we went to his place. We had another drink and sat on his couch. It felt so natural and EXCITING to make out with him. He took off my blouse and bra and played with my nipples!!!!!!!!!!!!! OK, for most, that's probably NBD, but for me it was truly BREATH-TAKING!! This isn't porn, but yes, we had sex. That was kinda breathtaking in a different way . . . a mix of uncomfortable, some pain, some pleasure, and lots of satisfaction.

I see Conrad as a man, exciting, fun, etc., but not really "The One". It's just casual sex. Does that make me a slut?

On another front . . . I'm continuing to take Raw Ovarian Glandular, saw palmetto, etc. supplements. I read that I am to try to keep my body temp higher to get better results. My weight started to increase, one of the possible impacts, so I had to cut back on eating and increase exercising. Not sure the supplements are changing me either.

I do like how I am feeling, so that's something.