I think I'll be going against the general thought of Warp My Mind. I'd like this to be the last time I'm here. This topic I can never really tell anyone about. I'm protected by the anonymity of the internet. 

All this was triggered when I masturbated today. It was the first time in so long that I jacked off, just to jack off. As me. Me being horny, and needing release. I first ran into Warp My Mind in the 9th grade. I can't remember quite exactly how I did, but I believe I stumbled upon self-hypnosis that time. They were files that help you become more confident and such. After prodding long enough I ended up in this site. 

This site isn't absolute evil, I'm aware of that, despite how it contains content that wishes to push us that far. It's highly with the user that makes this what it is. I see people finding solace here, and people improving their lives with it. I was inspired by the people who've made solid progress with the jock files, specifically Rigsby, Oxyfemboi, and Slyfox. My favorite files were the Train Total Jock series, some of Luggy's files. Cardigan's Male Sex Animal and Horny files were extremely powerful. I dabbled with ViVe's dumbing files at one point. I even got into Sub Blaster? It's a program you can download that flashes subliminal messages on your monitor passively while you're working. 

I was the complete opposite of a jock. The first time I ever came was to the thought of a bully in school. It was me wondering what it feels like to be him, to have that power over me. I came, and from there my thoughts of orgasm were fueled by these figures that I'd like to be. Imagine how thrilled I was to discover a way to actually be like them.

It was an on and off battle with me and the jock files. It was exciting, but I don't think I've ever really admitted to myself that this was my sexuality, because it was driven by an intention to destroy my perception of myself. I can't tell you how I wish I was just like every other dude in school who just jerks off to porn every night and peeks at girls in school. I had trouble finding a girl I liked. Maybe like 1 or 2 crushes. I wanted to know how to be more like what I thought guys were. Which I suppose was also why I got into the files. I wanted to be more "normal." Ever since I've been very overanalytical. I think too much. I think first. I'm a classic Type A.

There was a time I dropped this completely. Then college came, and again I felt the need to impose this idea of masculinity on myself. I felt like I'll never find a girl. I got into hooking up with guys because I wanted to know how their sexuality felt like. Also because one of the athletes I look up to fooled around with dudes in private, so I thought if he could do it while still being himself I should too. I found being myself was the worst thing I could be. So I strived to literally be someone else. 

On a positive note I think exploring jock files did help me get into weightlifting. Currently I'm training to be able to compete at powerlifting next year. I'm reading a lot of articles more aggressively and I got a coworker to help me out. But that's about it for the good stuff. Didn't I enjoy masturbating to them? Again not really because I always came (haha) out of the files wanting to jack off, and wallow in the post coital, thinking about how this is bad. That other people admittedly love me, look up to me, expect a lot from me. THat I don't need this to live, and breathe, and, just be. Then the next week I slip back into them, and the cycle repeats.

I'm 24 now. I was 14 when I started with the files. I've gone as far as buying files with my own money. I've been hunting the internet for other sources apart from Warp My Mind, like Soundcloud. There's an account there called Master Muscle which you could be interested in. It's consumed me in a way I never thought it would, because it was a battle I never let manifest in my public life. 

Last week, as I was in the search for more jock files, I ran into a familiar name. I clicked on it and looked for his accounts and, I remembered. He goes by Slyfox on Warp My Mind and one of the users who I did seek guidance for with these files. He worked with a hypnotist, and I'm not sure if he's still doing the sessions with him. He was a successful subject. From his messages in WMM, it sounded like he became a full jock. He got into sports, started lifting weights. You should check out his progress photos in the gallery. He changed drastically from what he was to what he is now.

When I saw his Twitter, I was a bit confused. In my head a jock is a typical high school jock. Just a dude who wants to play sports, fuck around, eat, go to the gym, be a douchebag. But what I saw in Slyfox’s Twitter was, different. He was still a weightlifter. He’s deadlifted mmm what I think were five 45lb plates on each end of an olympic barbell… Just do the math hahaha. But, he was an avid furry too. Not to judge furries. To me, it seemed impossible for the two to coexist. Because to be a jock was to own up to that lifestyle completely. He was a nerdier jock. He was both.

I found this perplexing because, even though he changed, even if he became a jock, a part of him still persisted. I’ve been spending the past decade trying to erase myself. And here is someone who’s accomplished everything I’ve been trying to work for, by still being himself. If you’re reading this now Slyfox, I’m happy that you’ve found your happiness. He’s married, he looks great, he’s really strong too, he’s, happy.

Going back to what I opened with, today I masturbated. But what felt different was why. It was the first time I think I’ve ever came that I didn’t associate with jock files, hypnosis, or high school. I listened to Luggy’s Jock Reprogramming 2 days ago, but this time, this felt natural. Natural in a way that it really just felt like me, with my hand, stroking my cock up and down, to the point of orgasm. I enjoyed it. But, I wasn’t guided by thoughts of hoping to be like my classmate, or imagining becoming my friend and taking on his personality. I was just horny, and I wanted to cum. This whole time I’ve made a big deal of me not being manly enough, or being masculine, that I always laced the two together such that I never jacked off thinking I was capable of it. In my quest to become what I thought was a normal guy, I’ve forgotten what it was to be one, because perhaps there never really is a normal guy. 

I believe the files on this site never intend on serious damage, primarily because there’s a certain degree of awareness on the end of the user that this is primarily for pleasure. Because it’s done willingly by the user. As per induction files, all this we do to ourselves willingly, and believing we’re capable of becoming something more.

I may have taken things too seriously. 10 years, imagine that. With the orgasm just now, I think I’m ready to move on from things here. I think I’m read to let go of Warp My Mind, because I discovered I don’t need it. I’m driven to compete in powerlifting. I like this girl at work. I’m doing good at work, and I’m writing a graphic novel. The biggest take away from my experience with this is that, as I mentioned earlier, I went in this believing I can change. Now that I’ve changed, maybe I’ve achieved what I’ve always wanted: to be a jock. I’m pretty dumb too, but only in the way that everyone is. I don’t know everything, nor will i ever. But it’s fun to think of ways things could be. To be surprised by uncertainty. It’s time I came out of a decade-long trance. It’s been enlightening, and though I don’t plan on coming back here any time soon, I’d like to thank this community, and the users I’ve mentioned in this long note. The funny thing about all this is I can never really imagine who I was without the files then. Which is fine. Because maybe that’s just who I was. It’s a part of me. And it’s time I take my own reins and move on life, carrying my past with me.