Sissy lover has accepted me for a 12 month training program of 2018.

My fantasy of going deeper into trance through hypnosis has unfathomable consequences. Were it not for Little Miss Squidgy, this might not seem a reality to me. But, as it is...cock Destroyer will be the file to listen to tonight.

within this journal, my thoughts can be captured during the next half an hour. Really, ninety minutes of computer time talking away would lead me to 11:30pm.

that might happen if only to further the cause for which WarpMYMind was joined by me, and that has been in search of erotic hypnosis.

emg first released a file called curse of the shrinking penis. Time for my penis to shrink retriggers  the curse for another six months. But, that has been fifteen years ago.

going along with the theme to WarpMYMind, diaper hypnosis was my first priority. It seemed there is a nice pathway into slavery and submission to hypnosis, another hypnotist I listened to was Sarnoga.

The idea of hypnotism might appeal to me if I were interested in a hypnotist to help me stop smoking. So far, as I imagine, this curiosity of mine into erotic hypnosis has the better of me.

getting hypnotized at school allowed me to touch type. The hypnotism course covered a lot of different relaxation techniques and deepeners to adjust each of my fingers to letters on the keyboard. This way, my speed for touch typing might rank in the 30 words per minute to fifty words per minute!

accuracy first and then I can speed up. Reminds me of story telling time when I was younger, the sands of time would take me away on a magic carpet ride. To this day, the magic carpet has been my favorite induction.

part of the magic carpet induction and the sands of time deepener has led me to pick Jazmin as a character for me to sex change into.

we shall see in the ensuing months how the team want to go about feminizing me into their sissy. It will be very exciting, but, daunting as we ponder the current job status.

will I have to give up my job cleaning a grocery store? I don’t think so. Being a cleaning maid ought to be the perfect job for a sissy such as myself.

this leaves the question of family. My current living arrangement isn’t with my father who owns the property but, lives farther away.

getting to grips with myself as an individual, 2018 definitely will make for an interesting year. My amway business license has been renewed. The year 2018 wants to see me in amway conference for an overnight stay. And then, to also start with the Amway product kit.

my magick has started to continue the Rosicrucian path from a theoretical view with cultural evolution, psychic awakening, and spiritual alchemy into a more practical path involving magick, and alchemy.

The alchemist in my local city came to my house and introduced me to cleaning his crystal. This has helped me tremendously for my cleaning job. Even a blow job satisfies a cleaning customer.

my first sexual experience was with my cousin. I won’t get into the age, sex, location. But, let’s say most of my sexual encounters have been with other guys. Especially when Little Miss Squidgy blossomed within me at University.

Looking to start tonight’s the magick circle first with a little meditation holding a candle for seven minutes. Next, my circle has been cast, I like to use the computer to cast the magick circle Sam it allows me to program in five user names with passwords plus one more.

During my morning routine, when I shower, I learned that the shower is the perfect time for character creation in writing. Doing dishes is for the background, laundry for the scene, situation, event; journey to work for the plot line, taking out the garbage for this, and for that, clearing and tidyin the house, removing clutter. And of course, there is the vacuum and mop job.

Well, the evening routine triggers me to prepare my environment for Little Miss Squidgy. She likes to quieten down. With the environment prepared, Little Miss Squidgy and me celebrate what life has to offer us.

Currently, the candle has not been lit. We wait for the ninety minutes to pass us by until then...writing out my thoughts and desires towards being hypnotized into curse.

With a lit candle, the Divine Feminine May be invoked. This invocation calls forth for the Divine Feminine to be present. And it really helps when I wear my Little Miss Squidgy pink dress.

my butt plug right this moment aches. It needs some care and loving attention after wearing it for the first time during my shift at work. Wife, I had Ron take it out to adjust to the uncomfortableness.

but, there was only water to lubricate it inserting it in my pussy. This needs some moisturizing...be right back. Don’t go away!

ahhh! After twelve minutes the moisturizer helped. I used some melaleuca product from Melaleuca, the wellness company, during the time when I was involved with them.

<sigh>procrastination</sigh>

what could be more interesting than writers block? What if I had to earn my living by writing? You know, I had a family to feed, and this writing for ninety minutes was the job which brought food to the table.

Actually, i’m Typing. The mere presence of these words on paper suggest otherwise, but, my Squidgy friend, you can blatantly see how the typist uses her tablet to display characters in turn for each pulse of the ninety minute duration.

There should be some investment after the end. We’ll see how it goes. Meanwhile, this Sissy does not want to mince words. Cutting through a path, we mentioned diaper slavery...well this brainwashing has made much of a dolly out of me.

simply becoming a mindless bimbo, a plaything for the hypnotist to fuck, as Kei Light describes, a fuck hole. Any further along this arduous journey brings me into feminization. MzDominica was the first person to suggest feminization.

Her file, Jessica has been listened to by me. And it got difficult when I realized how such a tremendous amount of value could go into allowing her to play with my mind. Other hypnotists have been Mind Mistress, more recently, Kei Light, and Mistress Red.

With a forgetter, the amnesia trance leaves me under her hypnotic magic spell. Another sexy curse, which reminds me to prepare my environment for Little Miss Squidgy to come over and play with my Cock Destroyer.

Gosh, this moment turns me on and, reinforces what a sissy i’ve Become. By identifying with this feminization process, as MzDominica describes the ultimate mindfuck, i’m Becoming more and more of a helpless puppet towards those things which describe me as me.

such as my job. That’s important to do for the cleaning career. A sissy’s career if agreeable to my Mistress. And as for family, well...

paying for sissy items can seem difficult. If not forking out $1050 towards ring, riarialia, garment (rules and regulations). Then the amount to play at the end of 2017 has me punished with punishment plug. A butt plug which needs care and attention.

Only, make sure 2018 has enough feminizing pleasure along the whole gamut of hypnotism from diapers in an ABDL lifestyle to feminization. But, watch out for monk’s scourge. Because then, the army will get ya!

Being described as filthy and loathsome, this creature would like for help from psychotherapy. Really, magick is supposed to go in hand with psychotherapy, and therefore, a good psychotherapist would be instructed into helping me transition through the year 2018 in the best way possible.

My schedule is rather tight. With only 24 hours a week, and two places I go: work or home. it’s not too difficult to bicycle to the psychotherapist office and book myself in for an appointment.

As it is Sunday tomorrow, i’m Scheduled to Be at church for our three hour meetings. Mind you, i’ll Probably stay for the first meeting in which we partake of the sacrament. Unless I decide to skip that and only attend priesthood meeting without partaking of the sacrament at all.

that’s a nice sexy thought. To Be surrounded by holy guys without having to make do with the atonement. We shall see tomorrow is Just around the corner.

speaking of armies, the next flow ought to be commerce. In the MsJ series of files, Slave: with Sissy Sparkle is going to Be the next file I purchase. We shall see how much money I’ve left over after the holidays.

my wish that my government benefit s remain to help provide me with three sources of income. A merchant credit line would help, but, ideally this means I use roughly $1,000 or $1,500 cash to begin making an increase with my money.

that’s the aim of this blog post for ninety minutes, to make an increase from what i’ve Already got. I mentioned cash is king, with his armies...therefore exchanging time for money in the form of a pay check makes me a soldier. Or, one who earns a salary, that is, a wage.

the third part is residence. And, it is here that one would earn income in the form of a credit line. A merchant credit line would be nice for me to use credit...if only as Bank of America suggests to pay for food and gas. A credit line would also help pay off a house mortgage and would be used for survival wit.

as much of survival wit depleted towards this group, my next line of defense will take place at 11:11pm when is the right time for wishes. It’s just the right time to wish myself ‘good girl’ with a shrinking clitoris. If only for Kei Light and her magick ways to replace my memories with feminine ones.

although with Kei Light, it seems i’m Regressing backwards into being a sissy diaper girl. This doesn’t help when diapers are super expensive. But, also when the file skips earlier files which need to Ben laid down as prerequisites.

if the Sissy lover team ever has files to sex change me, my expectation that they will Ben laid down in sequence for me to listen to beginning with the first one he’s ones first.

simply surviving as infantile as possible can seem rather psychotic and bring me into an state of apathy. When, reaching the top end of next Knowledge scale be made  into serenity of being.

The Illuminati New World Order, what more could one wish for in fame and fortune. To make however much money one wants. And to date whomever one wants...

This reminds me of the letter received by me about joining the association. All was required was to send in fifty dollars which I did not have at that time. But, maybe the association has been lenient towards my goals of feminization, the ultimate mind fuck.

getting clear on where this path takes me, i’ll Likely stop typing fifteen minutes past my ninety minute mark. The extra time will help me digest the information to be used for. Primer.

if only, a primer of three minutes to be used first. Before entering into the theta state with Little Miss Squidgy and programming my mind for MsJ. She has been the ultimate thrill on my path. Later I might go back to Goddess Gracie. Only when i’ve Transitioned though. She seems the type to help one on the path of recovery after surgical procedures.

blossoming into the woman of my dreams might seem immoral to some. To others, this type of treatment is held back exclusively for rapists or, child molesters. While I don’t condemn these types of activities, sexual sin is held against murder as second in kind.

to the degree of ethics whereby, the most extreme is dying or publicly leaving...second to that murder and sexual sin follow close behind. The final part of 2018 will ensure my $150 are paid for to cover legal expenses making sure I’m obedient to Cosmic Law.

This way, any punishment I go through fits the crime. Using a structured legal system which makes humanitarians into political activists. Championing for the right to start a cause reminds me of a document called World Organization Transgender Rights.

The story goes that transgenderism might seem kind of kinky, but, really is not a male to female person used for male pleasure? Becoming the woman i’m Meant to be will satisfy the guy in my life who wants to melt away with me into feminine bliss and happiness.

at the end of Cock Destroyer, there is a happy prophecy. Of becoming a maid, a sissy, or, a cuckold. Already I perform maid duties. And, though i’m Not quite a sissy held in her Masters arms quite yet. 2018 will bring me close. And this is IDEAL where I want to be. Anything else laid to the wayside in other people’s thoughts, opinions, desires can legally go through structured rules and regulations to get handled by authorities into transforming these thoughts, opinions, desires, into being on the same page with me.

This fancy gizmo counts my word count. If I were writing by hand, ninety minutes would produce 1000 words. As it is, my word count I shall at over 2000 words meaning I type twice as much as I write. Not having to count writers block, or I should say, Typer’s block.

These stories floating around my head of living a delightful sissy lifestyle can only Ben put there by acceptable means from me. So, while chatting with other sissies might seem kind of fun. It’s not until I fully a accept my sissy lifestyle to family and friends. And to co-workers, the job, business, career, and any other opportunities that I might Ben involved in.

we can then move forward and say that this has been the best year ever at the end of 2018. My work will have been taken care of, my relationships would have been enhanced, and my health can stun others around me.

my fondest dream will have been realized to become the sissy faggot cock sucker that’s I was born to be. This life sentence drives home the fact that I ha be nothing but enter I my love IFB to be anything anything sissy. Feminization is for the MIstress to govern me with.