I don't even remember anymore how it started. Listening, or refreshing a few files triggered something in my mind.

The original mindwarp, that I though worn off, has come back stronger, and better than ever. At some point I just decided to plunge in as deep as I possibly could.  

Slightly addicted already I did everything possible to become deeply addicted to Master EMG’s voice. All bounds and inhibitions loosened I started Feminization again. Trancing deep and wide open to any suggestion.

You'd say that it's not a very reasonable thing to do. You're probably right. But then I say "so what?". I just don't care anymore. I wan't to enjoy myself as much as possible and (for the moment) simply don't care about the consequences. I have been a reasonable person for much too long. And this seems to rock my boat pretty well.

I started Curse Female Takeover again and I believe she has reawakened again. She has been dormant for too long. She isn’t the woman the CFT describes and hasn’t taken over (yet?) but she’s there and she’s working on me. Even if it was CFT who summoned her, she’s more like Your Other Half.

She now determines whether or not I should listen or do a refresher with CFT and who am I to object to that?

The thing is that she’s a woman in a man’s body. I can only imagine how awkward that must feel. This is why I/we? took up a whole bunch of intense feminization files again in order to be a better host for my female companion. Especially the files dealing with hormones are really great. She likes Super Female Whammy best. I’m not sure to what extent it’s working but a lot of stuff is happening. At least in the mind.

This led to a further, more important and bigger step...

Somehow (I don't know how exactly), I discovered the Teenie Weenie Curse.

I believe this discovery was the perfect opportunity for her. I was very apprehensive, reluctant but also curious. I saw all the warnings, comments and discussions. But at some moment the decision was made for me.

It appears that a single listen to this file can at the minimum bring you back to the file. Which is where I’m at now. If this file gets me rid of what is bothering her, we’ll both be happy. She will be happy because of the reduced parts, and testosterone(?); I will be happy for her.

Yes. After having listened to the good Sarnoga, I’m hooked and hopeful I will completely lose the piece. What’s more, I’m now convinced that that’s what I need.

Well done Master Sarnoga. Thank you!

 3 July

Early in the mornings around 4-5 AM I have a super duper rock-hard erection that usually lasts like an hour or more. I don’t exactly as usually I’m asleep. But if I have to get up to pee, it’s there, huger than ever. As far as I know this is the natural thing to maintain proper functioning of the material. Well, that’s going to change apparently. I looks as if the maintenance is going to suffer.

This morning I woke up, or not really or not entirely. I was sleeping, yet aware. Weird and definitely dreamlike images flashing in my mind and unable to move. I felt the customary erection coming and that’s when the fun started. I could feel some kind of battle and how something actively opposed this automatic and physiological erection. It was not me actively, nor passively doing anything to avoid this erection. It felt like a mysterious opposing force coming from somewhere I did not have any control over. Just like we don’t have any control over a physiological reaction.

But, this opposing force to the erection was successful and did control this physiological reaction. When I realised this, in my dreaming state, I felt bliss.

So, for a first time in ages no morning wood (that only happens very rarely,  and then only in very stressful or tiresome periods). So I can chalk this down as a success.

The thing with the nipples really annoys me.

Basically, I have given up my manhood for just for the joy of hearing Sarnoga’s voice?

That’s just fine. I don’t care. I will love whatever happens down there.

Oh, I forgot to mention that during the listening of the file I got a whole body sensation (a kind of orgasm?). A very nice vibration going through my whole body.

4 July

During the night 2 freeking erections. Two. The first one around 2AM. I felt the same 'battle' like yesterday but this opposing force was so much weaker and it lost. It didn't get as hard as usual, but still much too much. The second one around 4AM. There was nothing opposing it this time. Arggh!

Also during listening yesterday evening, I had an erection. This is now how it's supposed to be!