Sharri’s Hypno Journal & mental alteration journey

Entry: 5/16/2020 11:43:07 PM

I will start by briefly explaining that I am a long-time critic of the erotic hypno scene & especially the many degrees of behavioral feminization modification.

 In my ongoing scouring search of the internet wasteland, I have waded through so much worthless junk recordings, there is hardly anything new that I haven't seen during my many years of seeking the real thing to help me in finally altering my own mindset to at least partially satisfy my incongruent gender dysphoria.

That is until recently within the course of a little more than a week when I finally figured out how to get the most out of certain files to finally make them work on my body as I had been so desperately wanting to see or feel such results & now, I have some of the successful mental & physical changes going on in me but it took A LOT to really make it work.

Now, its going to take a lot more mental training to go even further if I can mentally push myself past a few problems like some hypno-creators having no imagination or not enough experience to create a half-way decent feminizing hypno-file or their voice just drones on in such a ANNOYING tone that their effort is completely wasted or they just don't seem to care, prtefering really just to crank out one worthless hypno file after another that really doesn't have any sort of hypnotic value or effect on me.

 However, it’s finally happened at least a little & I am so happy to have finally successfully caused my penis to shrink down to very little & it doesn't get as hard as frequently as it used to which makes sitting down to pee, a blessed relief since standing to pee as a m-f preop trans is not only very wrong, it was also a messy "hit or miss" sort of deal. If I didn't want to miss the bowl, I had to go outside to pee. It’s not really so bad since I live on a remote farm on the edge of nowhere but still very wrong & very uncomfortable when I have just woken up from a long night of sleep & so, I am very unsteady on my feet. It’s just so much nicer when my sissy clit behaves to stay soft so I can sit down to relax & let it all flow out while slowly waking up to a new day.

As for the other changes...

I have to be very careful of my breasts now because if I rub them too much when applying the breast cream, I could end up with one hot mess in my panties due to a really mind-blowing orgasm.

Alternatively, when the situation permits, it’s a really nice feeling to have as well as one hell of a way to orgasm! The training in that aspect has finally paid off for me so I can enjoy one more of the more sexy pleasures of femininity. My anal passage is also now super-sensitive & I have a bit of that sexy horny bimbo influence in me which feels REALLY NICE!

Overall, I love how it is changing me so much! I think that what was holding me back, was the fear of losing a part of me that I didn't want to let go in the process of making the changes but really, nothing has been lost, only shifted around in my head to make me a happier bimbo slut that no longer over thinks the situation.

That isn’t to say that my intelligence has been greatly lessened, only my though process being calmed down enough that I can effectively trance & retrain my brain to mentally rewire it so I can turn out to be a better subbie sissy/trans version of myself.

So, I guess after letting go to place myself in the hands of fate, it has been quite a revelation to me that what held me back, wasn’t the failure of poor technique being applied in some of the higher quality hypno recordings.

No, it was really all in my head because fear kept me from finally relaxing enough to have learned to let go because I truly was fearful of losing certain parts of me. But I have learned that for someone like me, its never truly lost, only relocated.

Mind you, unless there really is a half crazed evil hypno-nut out there that real can brainwash all of us of the subbie mindset to make us forget who we were before we listened to one of his/her hypno recordings, I know now that we really cannot be made to completely forget every last one of our life experiences. The mind is far too complex for that to happen for even as much as some of the few old fantasy movies about an evil hypnotist that goes around brainwashing every person that was unlucky to have crossed paths with the hypno nut.

Nuff said for now - Sharri - AKA 2505 on youmustobey.com