Hi,

Thanks for taking a look at my journal.

I thought I would take the time to share what my experience has been with listening to a custom file (daily) for almost 10 months now and my exploration of trying to increase my skill as a subject. My interests are in ABDL hypnosis. I am sure everyones experience is different, but I hope that maybe my journey might be able to help others along theirs.

I will splitting this journal into a couple parts.

1. Mindset and Trance
2. Comprehension and Language
3. Visualization and Feelings
4. Results

I have had a little experience with hypnosis through the years, but never committed to anything till now. I remember the first time I tried hypnosis. It was an odd weekend over an Easter break during middle school. I was up deep in the night and discovered WMM and downloaded one of EMG's files. I remember being scared when it was over because it was like I had no internal dialogue for a couple of moments. Probably didn't help that I also had watch Altered States before this haha

I left hypnosis alone for a while only checking in on what new files came out here and there. I would say that I have listed (not all the way through) most of all ABDL oriented files out there. It wasn't till I started listen to Jenny Demilo and then theLibrarian and Sweetdreams that I decided I wanted to actually try and see if I could make it work out.

In the beginning it was all about listening to files and seeing if they worked, but after a while I saw no results and decided to do more research into how one might go into trance more effectively. I also decide that If I did want to make lasting changes that they should be things that I wanted. So I was lucky to have a custom file made for me by Sweetdreams.

The File and Effects

The effects of there file were to install a trigger that when diapered and sucking on a pacifier I would act and feel like a toddler. Additionally wetting my diapers would feel good and there was suggestions to help me when I was grown up be more relaxed and curious.

I started listen to the file in late august of 2020 and have been consistent with listening since then. Here are my results and experience. I am still learning and have a long way to go, but steady improvement is the goal.

Mindset and Trance

First thing that I found when doing my research is that mindset is very important. Hypnosis cannot make you do anything you really do not want to do. Having a positive mindset about the suggestions and results would go a long way. This would also help with actually sticking with a program. If you are not seeing results or feeling anything, it would discourage you from actually going forth and continuing.

At first I would try to envision what I wanted, but this proved difficult. This was because I was sure what I wanted, but had never really visualized or even really thought about it in detail. It was always an abstract concept. Yeah, I want to have fun, carefree and feel small and childish. But I didn't know what that meant to me. So I had to get very specific and have an actual idea of how I wanted to act and feel. After I worked on this I noticed that I had a direction I was going towards (like an actual goal of how to feel and be) and it was a positive motivator. It has not always been fun and easy to continue, sometimes it was hard to carve out time. Other times I would get frustrated because things weren't just happening, but I still felt if I kept at it , I will would there. As I continue going and see small changes here and there it helps keep me on track and keep going. Here are my take away at the moment.

1. Know what you want in detail. The more detail the better.
2. Be organic. Even if you know the details let them change and grow as you experience things and get deeper into the whole process.
3. If you really want it, keep going and believe it will happen.

Trance was something that I thought I knew how to get into, but over time this has really changed. I have been meditating for a few years, so I thought that trance would be very similar to that. When I listened to other hypnosis I would go into trance a bit, but it wasn't until I listen to Sweetdreams hypnotic mist series that I realized that I had really only scratched the surface. My progression went as follows.

First was relaxing the body. At first I thought I was relaxed, but going through the inductions of the HM files and then looking into other inductions such as the 7 + or - 2 by EMG I noticed that not all of my body was relaxed and if it did feel relaxed, it wasn't full relaxed. There is a heavy awareness that you feel when truly relaxed. Your breath goes through your whole body with out any resistance. When you breathe in, any tension should be felt and when breathe out that tension should release.

At first this was a struggle because I was focusing more on my breathe and relaxing then the words that were being spoken to me. After a while though, my breathing got into a habit and I no longer needed to concentrate on it. It happened automatically. Something that I still struggle with to this day is relaxing my eyes. I can get my face and everything else, but I can feel my eyes and muscles around my eyes squint. This distracts me a bit when I notice it and I try to force them to relax.

I have tried to do a technique where you look up and hold your breathe. Then when you relase your breathe, you let your eyes return to neutral position. This helped a bit, but I find my self having to do this multiple times.

For trance, I found that rapid inductions or quick inductions work better for me. If they are to long, I sort of hit a deepness where I just want to get on with it. I understand for instance the first HM file lays the foundation for the rest of the files and the file I had made includes the long induction, which works great, but after listening for while I have noticed that I can drop fast and would prefer it when listening. Even in files I have not listen to before. If the induction is slow, I struggle more then if they were faster. This is just a personal thing, and either one works.

My biggest break through with going into trance was listening to other files and taking how they described going into trance and their relaxation techniques then applying those to my own file. Some file describe different body parts, or a different order when doing a relaxing body scan. Others have imagery, such as a floating in the clouds, other files use confusing mind techniques. I would experience and listen to different files and inductions and if one made me go deeper then before, I would remember that feeling and go deeper in my own custom file.

My tips for going deeper into trance are as follows.

1. Focus on your breath and releasing tension with every out breathe.
2. Try different files and listen to how they describe going deeper. Remember how that feels and apply it to your other files.
3. It takes time and effort to trance deeply. Keep building upon your understanding of your own trance like state. Learn, then reapply on next session.
4. Expect nothing, experience everything. Believe it will happen, imagine it happening. Suggestions are true and factual. You have no expectation because what is being said is simply real and true.

Comprehension and Language

The way you interpreter what is being said will change on what you believe should happen and what will happen. The language being used and why it is being used will also effect how things go. I am a native English speaker so this will be coming from this angle.

When received my file and listened to it I believed that I understood what was being said to me. As I listened to it over and over again the more my understanding of the language and what was being said started to change a bit. It was not that the file was unclear, it was that my wants were not as clear as they needed to be. This was around the time I started realizing I needed an actual detailed idea of what I wanted to be like from my file.

One mistake that I made is that when I needed to repeat anything such as

"You want to be toddler"

I would change it into

"I want to be a toddler"

I did this for several months and in the struture of the file it held me back a bit. First, it was pulling some mental translation to form all the sentences with "I" and second I wasn't actually obeying the hypnotist that was saying "repeat exactly". Once I started repeating exactly I could feel things going more smoothly.

But here came another problem and why I changed them into "I" in the first place. Who was "you"? Was it me? was it you? Who? There is wizardry in how we talk to ourselves. We can say "I can do this" or we can say "You can do this". There is some research that suggests that using "you" helps the message get across and, that you take what is being said with less judgement. For me it was a bit confusing, but a recent talk I listened to by Ken WIlbur described it well for me.

Now, I am paraphrasing here, but it goes like this. "You" is used when people have an understanding. "You" and "I", become a "we", if we understand each other, we have an agreed upon reality. "You" becomes "he/she/it" if there is no understanding. So I take this as the hypnotist and I are the we. We both have an understanding together that I want the suggestions to happen and I trust the hypnotist.

So the "you" in this instance is "me", and I agree with what the hypnotist is saying about "me".

This has not only helped me with the suggestions, but it has also helped me with all the things being said. For instance -

"You will go deeper and deeper" With this new framing, I agree/trust the hypnotist and go deeper and deeper.What ever feelings or ideas that the hypnotist says towards me, I agree with them. This might seem very subtle, but I believe that it could have a lot of impact.

As months went by I reinterpreted things differently the more I heard them. As my ideas of what I really wanted got sharper, the language made more sense and applied to what I wanted. I could understand more of what the hypnotist is trying to suggest to me.

1. Take some time to listen and feel out the language of the file. If you are confused in places, give some thought to it.
2. While a file isn't a dialogue per say, treat it as one. The hypnotist is speaking to you, listen intently and focus on what they are telling you.
3. Language can be tricky. Somethings jive with you and others don't. Learn along the way and understand what language you respond to the best.

Visualization and Feelings

My goal for hypnosis was to feel a certain way when triggered and have certain things happen. When first listening to the file I was a bit overloaded with things. There was so much going on. Words to listen to and understand. Feelings and sesnations to feel. Images to imagine and then step into. There was alot going on. Over time I tried to focus on different parts.

First was getting the feeling of relaxing and going into trance. Once I had that, I focused on the pleasure triggers and trying to feel what ever was being suggested to me. If it was wetting my diaper,I would imagine the feeling of warm wetness spreading across into my diaper. If it was pleasure, how ever it was described I would imagine and try to feel that.

An important thing that I noticed was to imagine, but not force. If I concentrated so much on feeling the thing, I would lose focus and get upset (because I wasn't feeling anything), but if I relaxed and let it happen, things went more smoothly. Overtime sensations started to happen when the suggestions were said and they grew more and more each time I listened.

Take Aways :

1. Try to play along and imagine the what the feeling would feel like
2. Concentrate, but not to much. Let the sensations come to you. Nudge a bit, then let it come.

Visualization. This part I am still working on. Early on I tried to imagine in great detail and was always disappointed. I have a large imagination and can visualize really well , so when I was having difficulty with this I got sort of discouraged. When I was supposed to visualize something, as silly as this might sound, I didn't know what to do with my eyes. My biggest hurdle is my eyes get tense which leads me to thinking about them. When began I thought I would "see" the images. This might because I often space out with my eyes open. It is almost like I go blind and the world goes away when I day dream. I will be staring at something, but somewhere completely different in my mind. Then when the daydream is over, my vision just comes back to me. This messed with me because relaxing and being in hypnosis for me works really well with my eyes closed.

I turned to the same way I learned to trance deeper and listen to other files to see if they explained/gave different language about visualization. While no file really hit the nail and gave me moment of "This is how it is done" through different language/voices/ experiencing different scenarios, I started to grasp it a bit. When listening and trying to imagine, brief flashes of the image would happen or small sections of it. This would also include sounds and feelings. I let these things come to me naturally. I did not try to force them.

My struggle at the moment is imagining the result. For instance. If my goal is to wet my diaper and feel really good while doing it.

Do I see my self in third person wetting my diaper and feeling those feelings

or

Do I imagine that I am wetting my diaper and feel the sensations (as in me laying down listening, my physical body)

In the past I have focused on my body that is laying in bed, but I am starting to experiment with the third person aspect.

There is also a section in my file where I imagine my toddler self then become that toddler. The same question remains.

Do I picture myself in the third person as the toddler

or

Do I try to feel my current body becoming the toddler

As I continue I will try to envision in third person and see how the results go.

Take Aways :

1. The imagines will be in your mind, not your eyes. You won't "see" them with vision
2. Like the feelings, let the images come to you. Imagine a little at first, but let what ever happens after happen.

Results

So what have been my results?

So far after listening almost daily for 9 months I can report these effects.

When diapered and sucking on my pacifier I definitely feel different. My mind gets a bit hazy, my body feels warm and a bit odd. Sucking my pacifier is automatic, in the past it was hard to keep it in my mouth. Wetting my diapers, while not more pleasurable then it was before, is much easier. I am easily distracted and my thoughts are more simpler if there are any at all. My toddler self is more concrete then it was before, but still not 100% locked in my head. For the changes to my grown up self, I have not really experienced or felt anything to different, but there is a long road ahead.

I plan to keep listening and learning more as I go along. Again, all that is said is from my experience so far. I wish everyone good luck in their hypnosis path!

Any advice or feedback is always welcomed.There is still so much to learn.