So I tried to reply on the forums, but the forum doesn't seem to be working properly, just sends me back to the main forum, so I'll post here.

I've been experimenting for years now with hypnosis, mostly with my own files, back and forth from my sissy fetish, and me wanting to get back to my wife. Horniness is a powerful emotion that is hard to maintain. Success/trancing with hypnosis in the past has been bad, even after years of training, having ocd and bipolar doesn't help imo. But I think I've improved somewhat since I've tried to eat low mercury oily fish daily. 

Anyway I've had some recent interesting experiences. Since eating fish regluarly, my libido seems to be shooting up, like daily horniness and erections, and the horniness has more substance to it before. On the other hand it could be some of the hypnotic suggestions I've been experimenting with in my various files the past few weeks.

Anyway 2 nights ago, I had a short dream with a gay experience in it. And last night while trying to fall asleep, I had obsessive fantasies of a time where I had the opportunity to meet an older guy in the past (but didn't), and did gay stuff with him. But my dreams last night were different, the first one was really long, and all about this girl I use to work with, and me trying to get with her. The later dream was me trying to get with another mans wife, and when she say no, I went to my wife who was working behind the bar and was even hotter. She looked different than in real life, like a model, but she was my wife.

So I've had some gay dreams and fantasies, and some heterosexual dreams. The funny thing is I haven't done hypnosis the past few days because I've been ill. But one thing I notice with hypnosis. Is files I listened in the past and forgotten about, can start taking effect in my subconscious weeks or months later.

The last thing I want to mention (I did mention it in the forum). Was I created a hypnosis file on having obsessive thoughts and feelings of finding transgenders sexy, and tried it a few weeks ago. The idea was using my ocd to try and reinforce suggestions while outside of the file. I think last night before falling asleep when I had obsessive sissy/gay fantasies, this was the file taking effect in its own way. So I definitely want to experiment more with the obsessive thoughts and feelings idea. Maybe like having obsessive, vivid, clear, fantasies, of sexy women/wife, which feel so real, and feel better than porn, which make me super horny. Because thoughts/fantasies, the mind that is, should be more powerful and more direct to the raw sexual emotions, than anything we see or experience in the physical world, including porn or real people. So being able to enjoy thoughts and fantasies in the mind directly would bne cool.

That's it for now, and always remember when reading my journal, all my experiments and experiences are usually always all over the place because I change files and ideas quite regularly.