The fear of being really helpless to retain my cum, the fear of ejaculating way too soon and feeling inadequate against the partner's expectations, giving him mixed feelings about me : half amused half disappointed. It's all that that fuels my desire to become a true pathological premature ejaculator. 

But what should happen when I masturbate alone ? There's no one to witness my sexual inabilities. There's no fear in my mind of disapointing someone else. I can last masturbating as long as I want. I'm in control. Such a deception.

Despite this, I have noticed something new when I masturbate. The simple thought of having my dick sucked does not have the same effect of what it used to have on me. Before, it wouldn't have have the slightest influence on my sexual excitation. Now, most often, imagining my dick being sucked makes it like hyper sensitive and drastically accelerate my ejaculation to the point I have to stop masturbating or I could cum within mear seconds. Not exagerating.

Since I don't have so many occasions to have my dick sucked and to measure my progress towards incapacity to hold back my cum, I like to think that this acceleration within masturbation is, actually, an effect of the hypnosis and a very real proof of me becoming the pathological premature ejaculator that I so much want to become.

I like to see it as a milestone.

What do you think about it ? As usual, comments are welcome.