I've been into wetting/humiliation hypnosis for a long, long time, but I always struggle letting go of my bladder fully. I always feel like I have to force it myself and I stop halfway. I kind of want a file that truly makes me feel trapped, locked in place, helpless to stop myself. Almost like a punishment with permanent consequences. 

I have this fantasy where I'm bound spread eagle, face down, with a pillow pressed into my bladder. I could be diapered or not, but I think the diaper would add to the humiliation, especially if it's locked in place with plastic pants and overly thick. In this fantasy, my dominant (a woman) forces me to consume a diuretic, whispering in my ear how my bladder is going to burst, how I deserve this for holding back my piss like a bad slave, how the longer I hold it, the stronger and bigger the explosion will be, how much damage it will do to my control permanently. 

 I imagine a gag of some kind with constant water accessible through a straw, but not necessarily forcing me to drink. I want my dom to encourage me, belittle me by reminding me how I'm doing this to myself, how I can't resist drinking more and more even though I know what it's going to do to me. It's going to make my bladder full, so full I can't help but break. Maybe she even puts her fist under my bladder or presses my hips into the pillow. She definitely paddles my ass unapologetically hard. 

And when the holding gets to be too much, I want my dom to tell me that this is it: once I break the seal, there's no going back, how she knows I don't really want to go back and she will remind me of it at every chance. Once I burst, all control is gone and I'll be her conquered slave permanently, helplessly wet and receptive to all of her commands and triggers. 

After all, once the seal is broken, what's holding me back anymore?

I want her to keep taunting me, saying she knew I thought I would last longer, but I'm weaker than I thought, how I proved her right, how I need diapers permanently, how pathetic I am for choosing to do this, how addicted I am. 

I also want her to give me covert hypnosis where a somewhat good chunk of time after the session ends, I think I have my control back, that it was all just a one-off fantasy where the memories get hazy towards the end... I'm not diapered, going about my day like normal, and suddenly I have an honest to god accident, thus proving her right: I broke the seal and I can never go back. 

I wish a file like this existed so bad.