Why does Mario, my lovely icon, works himself out, killing that damned turtle numerous times, just to save a damned damsel in defense that, while she has numerous of fungi bodygaurds, gets captured. Why, Mario? Why, Mario? It was better when he was stuck in a dreamworld, with that bitch and her mushroom bodygaurd. And with Mario 3? With that crap with the Koopa Kids and the Airships? My god, Mario! You're bieng shot at, and now 7 turtles are after you. You're gonna die Mario! He never managed to save the princess when I played. Oh yeah. And there was another subplot about the Kings bieng transformed by magical rods, but who cares? There's a damsel in distress! Super Mario World followed the same tradition, without that subplot. But, now he's in a 16 dimension world, with a wierd dinosaur that can eat the lesser turtles. Yet that damned dinosaur can't enter haunted houses or castles? Why!? Then, the big turtle attacks you with that damned Copter, and...well...that sucks. Mario 64...hah. You have to save stars, defeat Bowser three times, and then all you get is CAKE. CAKE. Not the band Cake, "No phone...no phone...I just wanna be alone", but real cake. Hmmm...I can go for some cake right now. I wonder if my damsel in distress needs rescuing.