Danny's Diary

August -rnrnMy Mom started getting really possessive after my father died. I'm an onlyrnchild and she always paid a lot of attention to me. But since it's just therntwo of us now in the house it seems like she has nothing better to do thatrnconstantly check up on me. While it's really irritating, I put up with itrnbecause I know the strain that she's under. It's got to be tough to livernwith someone for almost thirty years and then have them die suddenly. Irnguess that I'm all that she's really got left right now. So when she bugsrnme about spending more time with her, or not going out as much at nightrnwith my friends, I put up with it. I'm just looking forward to when sherndevelops some outside interests and makes some new friends so that she'llrnhave something else to occupy her time.rnrnI was heading out of the house yesterday and she asked me where I wasrngoing. I told her that I was going to find some place to get my hairrncut. Now before telling you any more, you have to understand my attituderntoward my hair: it grows, it gets cut, eventually. What it looks likernin-between I don't really care. For some reason Mom got on my case about myrnhair: how I wasn't taking good care of it, how it looks so sloppy, and sornon, and how she thinks it could look much nicer. "So OK Mom" I said,rn"What's the point?" The point was that she wanted to spend the afternoonrnwashing and styling it for me. "But it's too long. Look, it's almost downrnto my shoulders" I said. Well, nothing was going to change her mind so Irnspent a couple of hours with my head over the kitchen sink while she washedrnit, and then put conditioner on it, and on and on. She ended up parting itrnin the center so that it sweeps down and than back over my ears. She wasrnreally pleased with the results. I've got to admit that it looks a lotrndifferent, but I'm not that wild about keeping it that long. I figured thatrnI'd just get it chopped off short so that I didn't have to worry aboutrntaking care of it. Now I have to shampoo and condition it every day orrnso. Mom keeps commenting on how nice it looks though, so I guess it's worthrnit to keep her happy.rnrnDad used to do most of the maintenance work on our old car - I think hernreally liked to just putter around under the hood. Even though it'' almostrn11 years old, it still runs pretty good, as long as you spend a couple ofrnhours every week adjusting things, and doing small maintenance on it, andrnstuff like that. I was working on it yesterday morning, changing the oilrnand the filter and when I came in for lunch, Mom got on my casernagain. "Look at your hands." "What a mess." And so on. So I'd cracked arncouple of fingernails, and there was dirt and oil under the nails. It wouldrneventually wash off or wear away. She wouldn't have that, though. She madernme wash my hands as lean as I could get them, and then she took something,rnI think she called it a "rosewood stick", and cleaned my nails forrnme. Finally after my hands were sparkling I could have lunch. "What a wasternof time" I told her. "They're just going to get dirty again the nextrntime. "No they're not" she said. "We're going to have the garage take carernof the car from now on." So I guess that's the way it's going to be fromrnnow on. I did like working on the car, but as she said it's a pretty messyrnoperation.rnrnIt's not only the car she doesn't want me to work on. Just about anythingrnthat could involve any kind of exertion or dirt is frowned upon. "Letrnsomebody else do that." Is becoming a very familiar refrain around thernhouse. It's like she's constantly keeping track of me. The minute my hair'srna little unruly, or my hands are dirty, or there's a stain on my shirt, orrnI'm wearing the same pair of jeans for two days in a row, it's "Danny, timernto clean up now honey." I don't think I've ever been cleaner or neater inrnmy life. At least when I've cleaned up she does compliment me, telling mernhow nice I look, and how proud she is that I'm her son. OK Mom, enough isrnenough.rnrnSeptember -rnrnWhenever she's not checking up on my appearance, or cleaning up around thernhouse, Mom goes shopping. She's tried to get me to go with her but nornway. My method of shopping is the "slam, bang" method. I run in the store,rngrab what I need, pay for it, and get out as fast as possible. Mom make arnreal production out of it - sometimes I think that the longer it takes herrnto get just what she wants, the better. I'm not sure about her tasternsometimes, though. The other day she came home and announced that she hadrnbought a "present" for me. Some present - a dozen pairs of tan bikinirnbriefs. Now personally I prefer jockey briefs. They feel good and I likernthe support they provide. After she bugged me a couple of times, I tried onrnone of the pairs of bikini briefs and even wore it for the afternoon. Itrndidn't feel really comfortable under my jeans though, so I just shoved therndozen pairs in the back of my underwear drawer - kind of like filing themrnunder "presents to be forgotten."rnrnI wish she would let me get my hair cut. It's grown a couple of inches andrnnow rests on my shoulders. She won't hear of it though. And now she's gotrnme spending almost an hour a day taking care of it. Like in the morning Irnhave to shampoo it and apply conditioner. Then it has to be dried andrnbrushed. And in the evening it has to be brushed again. I've got to admitrnthat it does look nice - very full and glossy - but it's a style that wouldrngo better on a girl than a guy. Being as long as it is, whenever I leanrnforward it falls on either side of my face and I have to keep reaching uprnand brushing it back. I guess I'm doing that unconsciously now. You know,rnthe movement when someone with long hair has it fall forward and they keeprndoing whatever they're doing and just unconsciously reach up and brushrntheir hair back behind their ears. Whenever Mom's not around, I'll just putrna rubber band on it to hold it back in a ponytail but she's not big onrnthat. So as soon as she sees me, the rubber band comes out.rnrnOctober -rnrnOne of my friends was by the house this morning, and when he left Mom askedrnme if he was wearing an earring. I said that yeah, a lot of the guys werernwearing these little stud-like things now but that it wasn't a big deal. Irnguess I misinterpreted her question because then she asked me why I didn'trnget my ears pierced? Pierced ears? "No way Mom! I told her. "I guess you'rernright Danny." she said. "Some people are just afraid of a couple of secondsrnof pain." Me a coward? Now those were fighting words. So just to show herrnthat I could "take it", we went out to the mall and I got my ears pierced -rnit hardly hurt at all. I've got these little stainless steel studs in myrnears till the holes heal up in a week or so. It's not so bad, you canrnhardly see them. And once the holes heal and I can take the studs out,rnnobody will be able to see anything. It's not that I think an earring wouldrnmake me look like a sissy or anything, it's just not my style.rnrnSeems like Mom could do a better job of keeping up with the laundry. When Irnwent to get dressed this morning my underwear drawer was empty. Well, therernwere those pairs of tan bikini briefs wadded up in the back and since Irndidn't want to go without underwear, I put a pair of them on. They sure arernsmall, like they just barely cover up my crotch. What feels reallyrndifferent though, is when I pull my jeans on. When I'm wearing my jockeyrnbriefs, they pretty cover up the area on my lower tummy from my navel downrnto my crotch - now most of that is exposed and the soft skin there rubsrnagainst the rough inside of my tight jeans. After a couple of minutesrnwalking around the house like this, I had this big erection. And of coursernthe bikini briefs are so small that when that happens, everything justrnkinda pops right out. So now I also have my dick rubbing against the insidernof my jeans. And after a couple of minutes of that I came - in my jeans!rnNow it wasn't the mother of all jerk offs or anything like that, and myrnjeans didn't get so wet that I had to change them or anything, but it'srndefinitely a new way to masturbate. Maybe there's something to be said forrnthe bikini briefs after all..........rnrnGuess Mom doesn't have enough to keep her busy - like trying to run my lifernisn't enough of a full time job for her. She's talking about redecoratingrnthe house. Well, not like tearing everything out and rebuilding orrnanything, but she wants to repaint or change the wallpaper in the rooms,rnand maybe replace the draperies. Stuff like that. She's been hauling samplernbooks home for the last week to look at wallpapers, and paint colors, andrnfabrics and stuff like that. She's been trying to get me to help her withrnher choices but it's like "Mom, I am not into interior decorating." I justrntold her to go ahead and that whatever she picked would be OK with me.rnrnNovember -rnrnWhen I came down for breakfast this morning, there was a small box withrngift wrapping sitting on my plate. I asked Mom what it was and she saidrnthat it was just something that she came across while she was shopping thernother day and that she bought it for me on the spur of the moment. I openedrnit up and it contained two small diamond earring studs. I'd planned on justrnletting the holes in me ears heal over but I couldn't disappoint her so Irnlet her take out the stainless steel studs and replace them with therndiamond studs. I was afraid the guys were going to kid me about wearingrnearrings in both ears but I solved that problem by changing my hairstylernjust a little. I fixed it so that my hair now hangs down on either side ofrnmy face, framing it in sort of a pageboy or something like that, and myrnears are now all covered by the hair. I guess there's something to be saidrnfor long hair after all.rnrnI don't know whether this is a bad winter for colds, or what the problemrnis. But it seems like I've had a cold every couple of weeks. Just aboutrnwhen I'm getting over one, I'll get another. The last one ended up turningrninto an ear infection and that was no fun at all. Mom checked with herrndoctor and I guess he told her that I might need a vitamin supplement. Sornhe gave her a prescription and she's got me taking two tablets in thernmorning and two in the evening. I always figured vitamins were off-thernshelf and that you just took one a day, but that's not what thisrnprescription calls for. Oh well, at least she didn't get me the FredrnFlintstone kiddie kind.rnrnMom must have noticed that I've worn the bikini briefs every so often. Likernmaybe the stains on them kinda told her something? I was looking for a pairrnof jockey briefs last week and couldn't find any. I asked her and she saidrnthat she thought I preferred the bikini briefs now so she had thrown all myrnother underwear out. I guess that's OK with me. It turns out that I reallyrnlike the feel of the skimpy briefs better than the jockey briefs anyway -rnjust took me awhile to get use to them. But Mom sure know how to take arngood thing too far. A couple of days after that she went to the store andrngot me some more bikini briefs, and some undershirts too. Now I had beenrnwearing the white cotton t-shirts but those were the regularrnundershirts. These are the ones with no arms and a larger opening at thernneck, and just thin straps over the shoulders. I guess I could have livedrnwith that but they were silk! I asked her what was the idea, and she saidrnthat the silk ones had been on sale and cost a lot less than the cottonrnones and that she didn't think that I'd mind. So now I'm wearing silkrnunderwear. It's funny, after the first couple of days I decided that Irnactually like it better then the cotton. I like the way it feels so smoothrnand slippery on my body.rnrnDecember -rnrnMy hair is getting really long now. I've given up asking Mom to let me getrnit cut because I know what the answer will be. It now hangs a good 4 inchesrnbelow my shoulders. It takes me a little longer to care for it in thernmorning and evening, but it's not like I had a lot else to do with myrntime. And just sitting on my bed and combing it in the morning an eveningrnfeels so relaxing. I like the way it feels when it brushes my shoulders asrnit sways when I walk. Mom got something from the drugstore several weeksrnago that she called a "lightener." My hair was always a fairly dark shadernof blonde, but after using the lightener it's much lighter now. Mom wasrncommenting upon how pretty my hair looks now and I had to agree with her.rnrnI'm still taking the vitamins twice a day but if they were supposed to givernme that "burst of extra energy", they're a failure. It's not that I don'trnfeel good or anything, just that I don't have the ambition to go out andrnhang around with the guys and play sports and stuff the way I usedrnto. Quite often on weekends when I don't have anything else to do, I'llrnsleep in till noon and then just come downstairs wearing the silk bikinirnbriefs and undershirt that I sleep in now. Then I can just sit at thernbreakfast table with Mom for hours, just drinking coffee and talking aboutrnthings.rnrnI guess that I should have paid more attention to the redecorating that Momrnwas working on. The guys that she had doing the painting just finished withrnmy room today and I don't like the look at all. Like I had outgrown therncowboy wallpaper years ago, but the color scheme that she picked is a whiternand a light pink. And of course, all the curtains and the spread on my bedrnall match. My friends don't stop by the house too often now, but I'd neverrnlive it down if they could see my bedroom now. I guess the only good partrnabout it is that Mom got silk sheets and pillowcases for my bed. I reallyrnlike the way that they feel - so soft and smooth against my skin. I guessrnthat the only drawback is that I have to be careful not to "stain" thernsheets. Like with the beatup old cotton sheets I had, I could lie in bed atrnnight and play with myself and sometimes one thing would lead to another,rnand pretty soon there would be another stain on the old sheets. I guessrnthat I can live with this though, with my reduced level of activity hasrncome a reduced desire to frequently masturbate. Well, I still do, but theserndays I get turned on just by the feel of my hair brushing my shoulders, orrnmy silk underwear against my body, or the smoothness of the silk sheets onrnmy bed - but I rarely go "all the way" if you know what I mean.rnrnJanuary -rnrnOne thing that I should probably do is be a little more careful of myrndiet. With less exercise, I guess that I'm burning less calories now and Irnmust have put on a few pounds. I'm not sure how much I've gained as Irnalways had a naturally slim figure and I new had to worry about gainingrnweight. But I must have gained some as my jeans are getting really tight onrnme. There are a couple of pairs that I can't wear at all unless I leave thernwaist unbuttoned. I mentioned this to Mom and she said that she'd get me arncouple of new pairs the next time she went shopping. She did that a couplernof days later and it's a lot more comfortable being able to get my jeans onrnwithout really scrunching my tummy. I was comparing an old pair to a newrnpair and it looked as though the waist and the inseam were the same, butrnthe new ones sure fit better. I asked Mom and she said that she'd justrngotten some that were a fuller cut in the bottom. Whatever she did, itrnworked. Along with the jeans, she got me a couple of new shirts. Wellrnactually, they looked kinda fancy for guy's shirts and she told me thatrnthey were really blouses - "on sale" again. I didn't care because they werernsilk and the white one especially looked so pretty that I couldn't wait torntry it on.rnrnMom managed to get me to go shopping with her today. I had to admit that itrnwasn't as bad as I figured it would be. There was one embarrassing part butrnI'll get to that in a minute. It was kinda fun just wandering thru thernstores, checking out the new styles, and noting how the different fabricsrnand colors looked. I even tried on a couple of pairs of slacks and a newrnblouse. Mom bought me a new pair of earrings, even though it must haverntaken the two of us almost a half hour to choose just the right pair. Thernembarrassing part came in the middle of the afternoon. We had lunch at thernfood court and I had a large diet coke (gotta watch the weight). A couplernof hours later I began to get this feeling that I was going to have to takerna leak. I told Mom that I had to make a "pit stop" and headed off to thernMen's Room. The problem was that when I got there it was closed. Some boysrnhad plugged up one of the toilets till it overflowed and made a real messrnand they weren't going to have it cleaned up for another hour or so. I wentrnback and told Mom that we had to leave RIGHT AWAY because I really had torngo bad and the Men's Room was closed. She just looked at me and said "Don'trnworry Danny, just use the Lady's Room." I said "WHAT??" And she repliedrnthat by the time we got out to the car and we got home that it would bernalmost an hour, and besides with my long hair and the pretty blouse andrnjeans that I had put on that morning, that probably nobody wouldrnnotice. "Just don't talk to anybody." she said. I thought about it and thernidea of peeing in my pants really didn't appeal to me so I figured thatrnabout the worst that could happen would be that if someone caught me that Irncould say that I just wandered into the wrong room by mistake. So I wentrninto the Lady's Room and it was no big deal - there was no one else inrnthere. I just went into one of the stalls, closed the door, dropped myrnjeans and panties and squatted down and took a huge pee. Then I readjustedrnmy clothing and got out of there FAST! Walking back thru the mall, Irnchecked out my reflection in several store windows and saw that how with myrnslim build, long hair and pretty clothing, that I could be mistaken for arngirl if no one looked too close.rnrnFebruary -rnrnI thought that I noticed a fragrance when I came home and went up to myrnbedroom yesterday. I opened my dresser drawer to try on some differentrnclothes and the odor was stronger. Not a bad smell but kind of a lightrncitrus aroma with a little spice thrown in. I asked Mom what had happenedrnand she said that she had added a "sachet" to my clothes drawers andrnclosets to make things smell nice and fresh. Well, that's OK, but nowrnwhenever I go out I smell like I'm wearing perfume. Like this afternoon, Irnwas getting some groceries and the girl behind me in the checkout linerntapped me on the shoulder and said "I hope you don't mind me asking butrnwhat's that fragrance that you're wearing? I really like it." I just kindrnof smiled and said that it was a recent present from my mother and that Irnhad forgotten the name, but thanks for the compliment.rnrnI was in the drug store in a strip mall near out house today, buyingrnseveral magazines and I noticed that the store was having a clearance onrncandles, so I bought almost a dozen, and a variety of holders to go withrnthem. It took me almost an hour to make sure that I had the rightrncombination of colors, and sizes and scents. I took them back to my bedroomrnand cleared off a spot on the dresser and got them arranged and lit themrnall and turned off the lights in my room. It looked really neat with myrnroom lit only by the flickering warm glow from the candles. I just layrnthere on my bed and read the fashion magazines for several hours by therncandlelight. Mom stuck her head in once and told me not to burn the placerndown. Sure Mom.rnrnMom came back from shopping the other day and told me that she had gottenrnsomething for me. I asked her what it was and she handed me a bag thatrncontained several different bottles of nail polish - in all differentrncolors. After supper she showed me how to prepare my nails and apply thernpolish properly. It did look kinda funny to see my hands with thernfingernails painted bright red. I liked the look. But I didn't want anybodyrnto see me that way so after we were done I cleaned everything off with nailrnpolish remover. In my room at night, I cleaned and painted my toenails -rnbright red again. Since nobody can see my toenails with my socks and shoesrnon, I decided to leave them painted.rnrnMarch -rnrnI usually jerk off in the shower in the morning. Like, I don't get myrnbedding or clothing messy and it's easy to wash off the cum. And I like thernfeel of the warm water on my body too. Anyway, I hadn't done "it" for arncouple of weeks and when I went to do it this morning, it took a longrntime. It didn't help that Mom kept yelling at me to finish up because I wasrngoing to use up all the hot water. When I finally finished I realized thatrnI had been fantasizing about one of the male models I had seen in myrnfashion magazines. That's funny, I'd never done that before.rnrnI didn't realize what a hassle long fingernails were. I haven't cut myrnfingernails for about 6 months now and they're getting pretty long - likernthey stick out about a half inch beyond the ends of my fingers. Mom hasrnbeen making me take good care of them so they're not chipped or broken orrnanything. I used to be able to just punch in the numbers on the telephonernby hitting the buttons with the tips of my fingers, but no more. I findrnit's easier to push the buttons with a pencil now. And it's definitelyrnslowed my typing speed. Even with the hassles, I don't want to trim themrnback because I really do like the way they look now. I've accumulated arnpretty good collection of different colors of nail polish and it's fun torntry out the different colors. I usually end up using a pale shade of pinkrnas I like that the best.rnrnMy jeans were getting pretty tight again so Mom offered to get me a couplernof pairs. She measured me and went off to the mall while I cleaned up thernkitchen dishes and started the laundry. When she came home I tried on thernpairs that she had gotten me and they fit really well. Buying clothes isrnone thing that I've never been really good at and I'll have to have Momrngive me some pointers sometime. It's like she has this instinct - neverrngets the wrong size. I was looking at the tags on the jeans though and itrndidn't look like they were boy's jeans. I asked Mom and she said that forrnsome reason she couldn't get the right combination of measurements in thernBoy's Department and had to go to the Girl's Department. I asked her whatrnthe problem was and she said that it took her awhile to locate a style thatrnwas narrow in the waist but fuller in the hips. She'd done a good jobrnthough, as I really liked the way that they felt and looked on me. As I wasrnlooking at myself in the mirror, I saw what she had been talking about. Myrnwaist is still narrow, but my hips seem to be broader than I rememberedrnthem, and when I turned around it looked like I had put on some weight inrnmy butt - it seemed to be a little bigger and more rounded. Mom saw mernlooking at myself and laughed and said that it was probably from sittingrnaround and snacking while I watched too many soap operas and that maybe shernshould get an exercise tape for us at the video store. I said no thanks.rnrnI was thinking about what happened with the new jeans last week and so whenrnI was getting dressed this morning I carefully examined my body. It doesrnlook a little different. I was never really muscular or anything, and I'mrnnot sure how to describe it now but my body seems to be, for want of arnbetter word, "softer" now. I'd guess that I've put on about ten pounds inrnthe last six months but it's not like I've gotten chubby or anything. A lotrnof the added weight seems to have gone to my hips, and butt and upperrnthighs. I'm definitely more rounded and softer in that area now. I triedrnlightly bouncing up and down a little and could see the cheeks of my buttrnjiggle. And where my stomach was flat between my navel and my crotch, nowrnthere's kind of a soft swelling there. It's funny that I'd never noticedrnthe changes before - guess they happened very gradually. Maybe I shouldrntake Mom up on that offer of an exercise videotape. On the other hand, Irndon't feel bad, and while I look a little different it doesn't bother me orrnanything so maybe it's no big deal.rnrnApril -rnrnThere wasn't much going on so I figured that I'd spend the day shopping atrnthe mall. I looked around and found a pretty necklace that I liked so Irnbought that. It's a small diamond on a tiny golden chain. If I leave therntop buttons on my blouse unbuttoned you can see it against my chest. And Irnneeded some new panties so I got those. I had the same problem that Mom hadrnwith my jeans, had to buy girl's panties instead of boy's bikini briefs tornget some that were full enough in the waist and rear to accommodate my newrnshape. Once I found the right size, I figured that I'd better get enough tornlast so I ended up getting three dozen. Plain white seemed a little boringrnso I got a variety of colors. I think that I like the yellow the best.rnrnMom and I went to see a movie last night and it was one of these super-longrnfilms, over three hours. About halfway thru the effects of the large PepsirnI had bought when we came in became apparent and I excused myself to gorntake a leak. I went into the Men's Room and was walking toward the urinalsrnwhen this guy who was standing at one of them turned around and looked atrnme. Then he did a double take and said "Pardon me Miss, but aren't you inrnthe wrong room?" I stopped in my tracks and didn't know what to do so Irnjust gasped and put my hands up to my face and kind of squealed "OH MY GOD,rnI'M IN THE WRONG ROOM!" and turned around and ran out. After I got back inrnthe theatre lobby, I had to pee worse than ever so I just acted likerneverything was normal and went into the Lady's Room, located an emptyrnstall, went in, squatted down, and let go. Then I got up washed my handsrnand walked back to the lobby - all the time with my heart pounding likernmad. When I went back into the movie and told Mom what had happened sherngiggled, then that got me giggling, finally we were making so much noisernthat we had to get up and leave the movie. We must have looked funny as wernwent out into the mall, kind of leaning on each other and laughing andrngiggling out loud.rnrnMay -rnrnI'm not sure how to explain this but something funny is going on with myrnchest. I was lying in bed this morning, trying to think of an excuse why Irnshouldn't get up. You know how when you feel that you really should get uprnbut it feels so good to just lie under the covers and relax. Anyway, Irnmoved my right hand up to scratch my chest and I noticed that the left sidernof my chest felt a little different. Then I checked and the right side feltrnthe same way. Like, both sides of my chest feel a little softer and fullerrnnow, and when I stroked them there was this funny sensation that felt kindarngood. I got out of bed and took off my silk undershirt and stood in frontrnof the mirror and examined myself. It did look like both sides of my chestrnwere a little fuller now. And I wasn't sure but it looked like my nipplesrnmight be just a little larger and slightly darker. I don't know whetherrnthis is just a little weight-gain thing, or whether there's somethingrnwrong, but I was kind of embarrassed to mention it to Mom so I figured thatrnI'd just keep watch for a week or so and see whether there were any morernchanges.rnrnMy hair is getting REALLY long now. It's almost down to my waist. I finallyrngot Mom to agree that I could get it cut shorter. At least I thought that Irnhad. But it turned out that what she really wanted to do was to take me torna beauty parlor to have them clean and condition it, tint it a littlernlighter, and just trim off an inch or so at the bottom that was a littlernragged and frizzy. It took them almost all morning to get everythingrndone. And the operator kept saying things like "Oh, your hair is sornbeautiful. I know girls that would do anything to have hair like this."rnSure lady, but I'm not a girl and I really would like to have my hair a lotrnshorter. No changing Mom's mind, though. After they were done with me, Irnhad to admit that it did look pretty spectacular. Like, it's a very lightrnshade of blonde, really thick and glossy and straight - hanging almost tornmy waist and swaying back and forth as I walk. As we were walking out ofrnthe mall, I could see an occasional person, usually a guy, turn and look atrnme. That felt kinda good.rnrnJune -rnrnMom told me that my hair looks so much nicer now that I really should havernsome better clothes to wear than the standard jeans and a shirt or blousernthat I usually wear. So we did our usual shopping expedition to thernmall. She took me in a number of shops, mostly ladies clothing shops, and Irnended up getting some more blouses, a couple of nice sweaters, and severalrnpairs of slacks. I had to admit that they looked a lot nicer than the jeansrnthat I had been wearing. When I was trying on the clothes, I made sure tornkeep my back turned so that nobody could see my chest. I don't think it'srngetting any smaller. On the way back to the car, Mom made one last stop atrna dress shop. I thought she was looking for something for herself but whenrnshe headed for the Junior's Section, my worst fears were confirmed. Irngrabbed her arm and politely told her that under NO CIRCUMSTANCES shouldrnshe even consider trying to get me to wear a dress. Case closed. She wasrnjust in that kind of mood where she just had to buy one more thing beforernheading home. So we compromised and she bought me a white silk nightie.rnrnWe were sitting at the breakfast table yesterday morning, drinking coffeernand watching one of the morning talk shows when I noticed Mom staring at myrnchest. I looked down and my nipples were very obvious thru the top of myrnnightie. I don't know whether it was because the kitchen was kinda coldrnthat morning, or whether my chest had gotten a little bigger, but therernwere these two lumps pushing the nightie out a good inch or so. I quicklyrnexcused myself and ran up to my room. I walked over to the mirror andrnremoved the top of the nightie and examined my chest. Yes, the swellingsrnand the nipples were larger. Together they stuck out about an inchrnnow. Where my nipples had been small and kind of a pale pink some time ago,rnthey were now a dark pink and about an inch in diameter. I gently strokedrnone and it responded by hardening and projecting out about another quarterrnof an inch. At the same time I noticed how good that felt. This was allrnkind of strange to me and I wasn't sure how to deal with it so I figuredrnthat I'd ignore it for awhile. I took my morning shower, fixed my hair, gotrndressed and came down for lunch. I'd been careful to put on one of thernbaggy sweaters so that my chest wasn't noticeable. When I walked into thernkitchen, my Mom wasn't there and there was a note on the table that saidrnthat she had some errands to run. So I fixed myself a PB&J sandwich andrnjust sat there and watched TV for awhile. About halfway thru the sandwich,rnI realized that I'd unconsciously reached up under the sweater and wasrnfondling my nipples, enjoying the sensation that resulted. Mom returnedrnhome in the middle of the afternoon and she said that among her otherrnstops, she'd stopped by her doctor's office and chatted with him about whatrnshe had noticed was happening to my chest. I guess he told her that itrnmight be some sort of allergic reaction to the vitamins she had been givingrnme so he had given her a new prescription. So instead of taking two smallrnwhite pills twice a day, I'm now taking one large brown pill twice arnday. Mom's sure a nut on health foods and vitamins and stuff.rnrnJuly -rnrnMy cooking ability was like zero. I could pour milk on cereal, or make arncold cut or PB&J sandwich, but that was about it. The other week Mom askedrnme if I'd like to learn how to cook a little. I guess I was bored that dayrnbecause I agreed. The surprising thing was that I really enjoy it. I'llrnnever be a world-renowned chef or anything, but it's fun to try newrnrecipes. Quite often after supper when all the dishes are cleared away andrnwashed, I'll just curl up on the couch with a couple of cookbooks and planrnthe menu for the next day. I'm doing most of the cooking now, and enjoyingrnmy new-found talent.rnrnMom's been pretty busy at work lately. In addition to her regular hours,rnshe's been putting in some overtime and having to go in occasionally onrnweekends. I've pretty much taken over doing all the housework to help herrnout. I don't mind doing the work and it's nice to be able to look over arnneat and spotless house and take pride in what I've done. Well, that's notrn100% true. I do not enjoy doing the bathrooms - especially the toilets -rnugh! Now I can see why Mom was always on my case to be careful and notrnsplatter any when I took a pee. I've found that it's just as easy to sitrndown now when I have to pee instead of standing up like I used to do. Atrnleast when I'm sitting down there's less chance of missing the bowl andrnmaking a mess that I'll later have to clean up.rnrnAugust -rnrnWe had a really hot spell of weather the past week. The temperatures werernin the upper 90's and it was pretty humid. I really don't enjoy weatherrnlike that. The minute I go outside to do any yard work I get all sweaty andrndon't feel really comfortable until I've gotten back in the air conditionedrnhouse, taken a shower and dried my hair, and slipped into some nice cleanrnclothes. It's funny. I was thinking back to about a year ago when I enjoyedrncrawling around on the ground under the car, fixing things and not worryingrnabout how dirty and oily I was getting. I just don't enjoy doing that kindrnof thing anymore. Other than the hot and sweaty part, I don't want to takerna chance on messing up my hair. It looks so nice these days that I don'trnwant to take a chance that I'll get any grease or grass cuttings or dirt inrnit.rnrnI don't think that change in vitamins is working the way it was supposedrnto. If I was having an allergic reaction to the old prescription, I'mrnhaving the same reaction to the new prescription - maybe even a littlernworse. It seems like the swelling in my chest is getting a little bigger,rnand my nipples are so tender now that I have to be careful what kind ofrntops I wear. I put on a rough cotton blouse the other day and the feelingrnof my nipples rubbing against the rough fabric was so irritating that I hadrnto take it off immediately. I haven't said anything about this to Mom. I'vernbeen wearing looser and baggy tops, no sheer fabrics, so that nothing showsrnthru so I don't believe that she's aware of the changes. It's not that Irnfeel sick or anything so I haven't felt any urgency about discussing itrnwith her. I figured that I'd just wait awhile and see if things went backrnto normal. Actually, there's one part about it that I like. When I lie inrnbed in the morning and massage my swollen nipples, the sensation is totallyrnunlike anything else that I've ever experienced. Even better than jerkingrnoff. Well, speaking of jerking off, I haven't been doing a lot of thatrnlately. It's just not as pleasurable as it used to be. I can still get anrnerection but it takes a lot of playing with myself before I can come, andrnthe sensation doesn't seem to be as intense as it used to be. It's like,rnwhy go to the trouble when playing with my nipples feels so good and is sornmuch easier. And I don't get stains on stuff from playing with my nipples!rnrnSeptember -rnrnI hate these phone telemarketers! It seems that when I'm just getting intornsome project around the house that the phone rings and I've got to listenrnto some asshole try to sell me a new set of gutters. (That's gutters forrnthe house, not gutters for me personally. HA! HA!) And what really pissesrnme off is when I answer the phone and they ask to speak to "..... the manrnof the house ....." or they call me "miss" or "madam." Jesus, don't theyrnknow I'm a guy? I hate that. At supper tonight I was telling Mom how thatrnreally annoyed me and she said that maybe it's because my voice seems to berna little higher-pitched lately. Now I'd never had one of those reallyrnlow-pitched rough male voices, but as I listened to myself talk to her Irncould see what she was talking about. My voice does seem to bernhigher-pitched and softer now.rnrnMom was kidding me that I ought to be a little careful about my weight. Irnguess that with staying around the house most of the time, and sampling myrnown cooking that I have put on a few pounds. I sure don't feel any heavierrnbut when I look in the mirror I can see that my face looks a little rounderrnand smoother. Now that we're getting past the hot summer season, I thoughtrnthat I might like to take up jogging as an exercise. I went over to thernshopping center a week ago and after much looking finally picked out arnjogging suit. It's really pretty in a pale blue color and looks nice onrnme. The first time I went jogging the sensation in my chest surprisedrnme. As I was jogging I could feel the added weight bouncing around arnlittle. It's not that it was unpleasant or anything, but I hadn't expectedrnto feel that. The one problem I had was that my nipples were rubbing on therninside of the jogging suit and getting somewhat irritated. I thought thatrnthe soft cotton fabric of the suit wouldn't be a problem but I guess myrnnipples are more sensitive that I had realized. I found that I could solvernthe problem by putting a large band-aid over each nipple before I wentrnjogging, and then removing it when I came home. That seems to work reallyrnwell except that I have to be just a little careful when I remove thernband-aid as the skin on my chest is rather soft and sensitive.rnrnActually, speaking of soft and sensitive, it seems that the skin all overrnmy body has taken on a softer texture. It's not bad or anything, just thatrnit looks different. I figure that it might be because I'm wearing softerrnclothing these days instead of the rough shirts and jeans that I used tornwear. Or maybe it's because I'm not doing a lot of heavy outside work andrnmy skin isn't getting as irritated from the sun and weather. In any eventrnmy skin has a soft white color with a hint of a rosy blush on my cheeks. Irndon't think that it looks bad, in fact I like it. Mom got me some creamsrnand lotions that I can use after I shower and I enjoy putting those on. Thernother thing that surprised me is that I just realized that I haven't had tornshave for over a month now. It's not only that my beard has stoppedrngrowing, it's like I don't really have any facial hair at all, just arnlittle soft down on my cheeks. That doesn't bother me either. One thingrnthat I never really enjoyed doing was shaving every morning. Either I usedrnthe electric razor and irritated my skin and ended up with a rash on myrnneck for several hours, or I used the safety razor and risked nickingrnmyself and getting spots of blood on my shirt. Thank heaven I don't have torndo that anymore. There is still some hair on my arms and legs, but evenrnthat is lighter and finer, almost a very pale blond, so that it's notrnnoticeable at all.rnrnOctober -rnrnMom called me from work in the middle of the afternoon yesterday to sayrnthat she had been having a really bad day and needed to unwind so if I'd bernready when she got home, that she'd take us out to supper. She said thatrnshe was thinking about taking us to a new steakhouse that had opened up sornto be sure and dress nice. I hadn't been out of the house in a while andrnthat sounded nice to me so I finished cleaning the house and then gotrnready. I picked out a pair of tan slacks that I like, and a white silkrnblouse to go with them. I figured what the heck, might as well go all thernway so I put on a bright red shade of fingernail polish, and brushed myrnhair till it shone. When I was putting on the blouse, I noticed that therngold necklace chain was hanging a little differently. The weight of thernsmall diamond used to pull the chain down from my neck in a straight "V"rnshape. Now because of the changes in my chest, the sides of the "V" arernpushed in toward the center. I had a new pair of white loafers that I hadrnonly worn once or twice so I put those on - no jogging shoes for merntonight. Mom pulled into the driveway about 6pm and honked the horn and Irncame running out and piled into the car and we took off. Since it was arnThursday, the restaurant wasn't crowded and we were seated in a nice boothrnin the corner right away. The restaurant has a western theme and all thernwaiters were dressed like cowboys. Our waiter was named Craig and I had tornadmit that he looked kind of cute in his tight jeans. So anyway, he'srnstanding there taking our orders, and Mom kinda kicked me under the tablernlightly and I looked over at her and she flicked her eyes up at Craig. Irnlooked up at Craig and he was staring down at my chest. I had left the toprntwo buttons on my blouse open and not only were the swellings on my chestrnpushing the blouse out in two tiny mounds, but where my blouse wasrnunbuttoned, you could just see the tops of the swellings. Apparently Craigrnreally liked stuff like that. After he had taken our order, Mom looked atrnme and said "..... that was so funny ....." At first I wasn't sure what tornthink of some guy staring at my body that way but then I began to thinkrnthat she was right. I don't know why I did what I did next - probably somernbrain flash or something - but I bent down and undid the next two buttonsrnon my blouse so that my chest was exposed right down to the tops of myrnnipples. When Craig came back with our salads I thought his eyes were goingrnto pop out of his head and I noticed that he seemed to have this bigrnswelling in his crotch. When he cleared our salad plates and returned withrnthe main course, he had to stand right over me so that he had the best viewrndown into my blouse. The whole thing was beginning to get me a littlernturned on too, and my nipples responded by becoming erect, so now I had twornlarge hard nipples straining at the thin fabric of my blouse. The wholernthing was going way too far too fast, so after we finished our dinners, wernskipped dessert, paid the check at the cashiers, and left right away. I didrnmanage to slip a $20 bill under my dinner place without Mom seeing me -rnCraig had put on a real show for me, and vice-versa I guess. Mom and Irndidn't talk much in the car going home and I went right up to my room andrnwent to bed. I had trouble going to sleep though, I kept thinking aboutrnCraig and the way he had stared at my chest.rnrnMom came home from work the other day with a big bag of cosmetics. She saidrnthat as long as I was going to use any makeup at all (she considersrnfingernail polish "makeup") that I had better learn how to things right. Sornover the next couple of days, she spent the evenings after supper showingrnme how to put on eye liner, mascara, blusher, lipstick, and all those sortsrnof things. At first I figured it was really dumb but by the end of thernsessions, I was really enthusiastic to see how a little work with therncosmetics could really change my appearance. Sometimes in the afternoonsrnwhen all the housework is done and I've got supper ready, I'll take an hourrnor so in my room to experiment with the different kinds of makeup to seernwhat results I can achieve. This is kind of exciting.rnrnNovember -rnrnIf this doesn't quit pretty soon, I'm going to have to talk to Mom. Thernswelling of my chest isn't going away, in fact I've developed two ratherrnlarge and prominent white mounds. The best way of describing them is to sayrnthat they look a lot like a girl's breasts - except that they aren't ofrncourse. My nipples are much larger now, about two inches across, and havernturned from pink to a dark brown color. Between the "breasts" and myrnnipples, the front of my blouse is forced out about three inches now. I'mrnsurprised that Mom hasn't noticed. I mean, it's pretty obvious when I walkrnaround the house. Even with wearing lose-fitting tops, you can tell thatrnsomething's happening in there.rnrnGetting dressed now, I tuck my penis back underneath me between my legs. Itrnfeels more natural that way, and I like the way that eliminates the uglyrnbulge in the front of my panties. I've stopped wearing blouses now andrnshifted over to thick baggy sweaters and sweatshirts to hide my growingrnchest. Mom asked me about my change in clothing and I just said that thernhouse was a little chilly in the wintertime and that I liked the addedrnwarmth - I think she bought it as she didn't ask any more questions.rnrnDecember -rnrnWell, Mom can't ignore the situation any more. I was standing in thernbathroom this morning, wearing only my panties while I dried my hair. Allrnof a sudden the door opened and Mom walks in, asking me if she can borrowrnmy hairbrush. All of a sudden she just stopped and stared at me. And herrnjaw dropped as she continued to stare at my chest. I squealed a little andrndropped the hair dryer and tried to cover up my chest with my hands, butrnthe swellings are so large now that it was like trying to cover up tworngrapefruits. About the best I could do was cover the swollen and protrudingrnlarge brown nipples that grace the swellings. After what must have beenrnseveral seconds, but which seemed like several hours, Mom stepped forwardrnand gathered me into her arms as I collapsed in tears.rnrnOver the rest of the day my mother and I did a lot of talking. Basicallyrnwhat she told me was that she was afraid of losing me after Dad died. Forrnsome reason, she started feeding me female hormones, hoping that they wouldrn"quite me down" and make me a little more dependent upon her. Little didrnshe guess the impact that the pills would have on my body. As we talkedrnfreely, I realized that the changes I had been noticing in my body were thernhormones reshaping it to give me the secondary sex characteristics of arngirl instead of a boy: the heavier hips; higher voice; softer skin; lack ofrnbody hair; and of course my "breasts." Mom immediately apologized over andrnover again for what she had done to me and promised that she would take mernto a new doctor and explain what had happened. I told her that I didn'trnwant to rush into anything. What has happened to me has taken over a year,rnand a day more or less won't make any difference at this point.rnrnJanuary -rnrnMom and I have been kind of taking it day by day for the past month. Irndon't really know what I want to do. I really like the characteristics thatrnmy body has developed over the past year, but I don't know how long I wantrnto go on part male and part female. At some point in the future I'll havernto make up my mind, but not right now. I have continued to take thernhormones but have greatly increased the dosage. I guess I want to see whatrnmy body will become if we continue as we have. The only real effect is thatrnmy breasts have become much larger and very pendulous. Mom offered to getrnme some bras but I declined. I like the feel of the weight and heft of myrnbreasts swinging back and forth as I move, and I like to see their outlinernshowing thru the tight sheer blouses I wear now. We did measure me thernother day and calculated that if I did get a bra, that I would need about arn40DDD right now.rnrnIt's funny, over a year ago I guess I was what you'd call a "tit man." Thatrnis I liked girls with big tits and could get really turned on by watching arngirl with huge tits and a tight sweater. And now I've got a pair of my ownrnto play with. Mom's still been after me to wear a bra "..... so that yournwon't develop stretch marks and your breasts won't sag as you get older."rnWell, I really don't think I have to worry about stretch marks too much atrnmy age, and if they want to sag, so be it - just more to play with! I wasrnlooking at myself in the mirror the other day. From the back I look like arnyoung girl with my slim figure and long blond hair falling to my hips. Butrnwhen I turn around and you see the huge mammary glands that I've developed,rnthe effect is totally different. I sure turn the guy's heads when I walkrnthru the mall these days. I walked past some old lady the other day andrnheard her mutter something like "..... totally disgusting. She should wearrnsomething to cover up that chest of hers." I thought that was so funny.rnrnMom and I decided to go out to supper tonight. We're going to go back tornthe steakhouse. I haven't told Mom but I think I'll ask the hostess ifrnCraig can be our waiter. And I think that I'll manage to have an "accident"rnsome time during the evening and let one of my huge breasts spill out of myrnblouse and onto the table. Should be a fun evening.rnrn