How I got here

The bell rings and it’s time for line up. How far have I come from being that out of touch boy in high school? I can’t begin to tell you at the changes that have been made. I really don’t know how I got to this point but trying to put the pieces back together seems pointless at this point.

I was an 21 year old college grad who didn’t feel right and didn’t know what to do. I wasn’t gay but didn’t like all the dating and macho stuff either. Who was I and what should I do. While surfing the internet I found I wasn’t alone but really did not know how to contact anyone that would or could help, that was until I found a site that helped move me in the right direction. I started listening to feminization files, I knew they could not “change” me into a female but at least they could give me a feeling of satisfaction for a short time. After several listens to one in particular, “THE SLUT WITHIN” I became more convinced what I was a female stuck in the body of a man, but that still left the question—how to I solve this imbalance?

It started again with the internet, dang it always seems to be there, I was able to find a product that was called “THENANDNOW” seemed like a funny name but it stated that it could change my testosterone into estrogen. Did I believe it, NO not for a second but there was something about it that kept me wanting to come back and try. About the same time I noticed an ad in the local free press wanting “paid” volunteers for an experiment that had medical overtones. It sounded like something that would be interesting and with just a couple stays overnight could pay me $5000. The experiment was one about changing ones habits; it used hypnotist and subliminal messaging to redefine ones life. They were looking for drinkers or smokers and trying to see if they could change them into abstainers. Sounds good but since I don’t qualify as either of those I thought I was eliminated from the group. That was until I was stopped at the door and asked if I would like to further test my habits, since they were short and I was a match in a lot of other areas, they would test me and see if there were some other areas that would qualify for this session.

The test began.

“Are you happy?” was the first question
“Kind of?” was all I could say
“What changes would you like to make?” was question number two.
“That depends, permanent or temporary?” my interest was being twicked.
“We are dealing with permanent changes” was the reply.
“Ok then I guess the answer would be sex” I couldn’t believe I actually said that
“Too much or too little” the assistant asked with a strange voice
“No I don’t believe you are understanding what I mean, wrong sex” I said rather quietly
“So you don’t feel like a man?” she asked
“No,err, yes, I know, know I just don’t feel like I a match on the inside from the outside.” I stated rather uncertain. I couldn’t believe I was being so honest with a complete stranger.
“Well what do you want in life?” was the question.

That is when I started to tell her about THENANDNOW and what it stated it would do and how I was toying with the idea. She stopped me right there and asked that I say no more until she was able to get her supervisor.

I waited for 10 minutes or so and was then given a proposal that I really could not believe. They now thought they had something that they could “study” for behavioral change. They were willing to admit me into the study if I were to following the assigned path and submit to their complete study guide. What was the proposal?

They outlined it as following:

1) They would supply me with a six months supply of THENAND NOW, I was to take it as recommended and not miss a dose or the contract would be void. Once started I must not stop until the six months were up and at that time I would be subject to further evaluations.

2) I would be required to daily listings of meditation materials which needed to be listened to daily and would also be provided to me and would change a periods set by them

3) I would have a job on site and would perform duties for which I would receive the same salary that I currently had at a job that I really didn’t like. I was told it would be easy but part of it was so they could continue to keep tabs on my progress.

I get to try a product I was wondering about, I get a new job; I get to leave one that I hated. I could not be happier.

“When do I start?” was my only question
“Monday, come ready for work and we will have the THENAND NOW ready and papers to sign.” She told me with a clear straight voice.

I resigned my old job, I didn’t like it there but my ex-boss wished me well and I was out of there on Friday as planned.

The weekend was filled with normal anticipation for the new job, Monday finally arrived and I was to see Dr. Sloam, I went to the reception desk and asked for the doctor and was escorted to a waiting room. In a few minutes Dr Sloam arrived, we exchanged good mornings and soon it was time for my realization of what was to happen. I was to report at 6:30 AM and leave at 6:30 PM I was to take 4 tables when I got there and 4 more before I left. The 1st 4 were there with a glass of water, remember once I started I was contractually obligated to complete the study which was at least for 6 months. I signed the contract and took the 4 pills.

The day stated with me watching employment videos and doing basically an administrative assistant job, filling, typing, scheduling, and all office details. It was a good setting to work and really didn’t mind. The music played all day and it was relaxing. I was getting paid for this? 6:30 PM came quickly and 4 pills and this time a protein shake later I was on my way home.

I was give a CD which I was told was part of my 1st training and I was to listen to it at least on my drive home and my drive back. This I did as requested. The next day was more of the same and so it went for the next 2 weeks. The only change was my dress, at the beginning of the 2nd week I was told that to better blend in and for part of the future trainings, it would be better if I started wearing scrubs, they matched what everyone else had and it did make me feel more like one of the gang and not the test subject. 8 pills a day and on the 1st weekend I was given a slow release tab that was placed under my skin, under my arm, they wanted to be certain that I did not miss any of the THENANDNOW. They stated after 2 months it would not be as critical but now they could or would not risk me not getting my dosage.

After 2 weeks it was time from my 1st check up, I saw nothing different but everyone said that I was right on track, so I got paid, I got THENANDNOW, and things were OK. That when changes started happening, I don’t know what was on the CD’s I was listening to back and forth from the office but by week three I was in Bikini briefs and no longer male underwear. I had used a shaver and NAIR on my body and for the most part had no hair other than what a female would have, on the top of my head and eyebrows. All others had been removed.

At the 1 month check up it was starting to become obvious that the THENAND NOW was actually starting to work. My breasts were now starting to grow, that is then I met Jenny, she was my female coach. I was fitted for a bra and told that at least for the moment when I was at work I would wear it. I liked the way it looked and felt so I had no issue with that.

At the 6 month point my initial contract was up, I was more female than male, I still had a male member but the THENANDNOW had done its job and I was not able to get an erection. Jenny had been working with me on my dress, walk and talking. I was passing on the phone but didn’t look the female part. But that was going to change shortly

At 6 month when Dr Sloam and I had our next scheduled meeting, I was given the following options. Either stay as I was be paid of the study and continue as I was for the previous 6 months, or start the complete transition that they had planned.

“What about my job?” was my 1st question?
“You have done us a great job, and we would keep you doing exactly what your doing, or you could go for the transition at a 10% increase in pay.” Was the reply.

Again being a business person, “When do we start?”

“Monday,” was the reply.

On Monday there were more papers to sign and 1 was signing up for 6 months more of “treatments”

Since I had laser treatments the need for hair removal was not there, the start was to give me a more female face. We looked at many pictures and how to accomplish this where I looked the best with the least amount of surgery. Monday started and after surgeries on my check, nose, ears, eye lids and chin. I was set in the face, after learning to apply makeup I was beautiful. At least that is what they people told me, I did like the way I looked but don’t know if I go as far as beautiful.

My pussy was going to be a bit of a bigger issue since I took THENANDNOW I needed my balls to make testosterone so it could be covered into estrogen. After several sessions it was determined that I would have my testicles removed or should I say moved, into the area that is where they would ride up to when they are placed inside the body, surgically placed there so they could still function but out of the way for a female. The 2nd part was even harder, if at the right time a donor became available I was going to be given the internal organs of a female who had died of unrelated issues. As luck would have it a car accident supplied such and opportunity. The lady had signed her organ donor card and her ovaries and tubes were removed and implanted. It was strange to have such a body but with Jenny’s help I recovered and that almost bring you to there I am now.

After the next 6 month, Dr Sloam, Jenny and all the staff said I was ready for the real world. I had become female, I was a woman and if I believed the staff of the clinic quite a stunning one. Dr Sloam had helped me get the correct paperwork so my body and appearance matched my records. That leaves me with 1 issue, with grants and the job I was not in a dire need for money but I would need to work.

I decided that I would take Dr. Sloam up on an offer to introduce me to the madam at a ranch that I’m sure you would recognize if you are into that kind of thing. We hit it off so now you have the full story.

“Hi, I’m Marcy.”

Remember the next time you are having the time of your life at the ranch, it might be with me. I’ll never tell.