Mind Control Sessions... Again.

By golly! A purse snatching at my mini-mart. My C.C.T.V. Camera picked up some action. Now you are reading of real life facts. I will blend it in with what I could have done with R.N. I did not. I wish we had of yet some things need come to an end, okay? Let me explain.

R.N. was stopping by. Yeah, yeah, still good looking. Twenty two and a registered nurse in some traveling van. It was a government job. She went town to town-village to village. I would love she run fingers all over me... Then again, Haxsaw was most happy, really most pleased, holding her. She would obediently press against me at my L shaped living room. I have portraits on the walls. A wrap around couch is in the corner. Her hands wrapping over my shoulders was ideal. Kisses from her were as candy for she was my work of art.

Of course... That came to an end, okay? Something about feeling, really feeling guilty and knowing she was doing wrong. I welcomed her in yet with a little bit of trepidation. I mean, L.N. was at classes and I had feelings, myself. I placed R.N.'s duffel bag and a case on the bench, out in the kitchen, right on the end, itself. I next faced R.N.

"My messages R.N. The freaking times you could have replied." R.N. stood there, her lithe frame with hands reaching out yet appearing guilty to want that desire.

"Haxsaw! It was wrong. All that we did!" I turned and faced her, bleeding out my heart in that one moment, nothing to lose.

"I mean; yeah, dreamed of you, spread eagle, tied down." R.N. seemed repulsed yet only a moment. She listened now, more intently. I grasped her elbows, manipulating her limbs as though a master puppeteer. "All the times I drink coffee, R.N. I can taste that!" I spoke with gritting teeth. I glanced away yet looked her facial expressions of inquiry, once more. "I mean, come on!" My voice seemed to deepen as I leaned closer. "You! More than just one night of cheap sex and toss you like some used towel... I loved the you!" I was not certain, not even sure of the impact of my carefully placed words. It was then R.N. became teary eyed. Her radiance was at once delicately glowing and expressive as any words spilling forth. She looked at me with that passion she was with, once before. I cursed a few times, beneath my breath. "Something real!"
"Yes!" her voice shot out in a timbrel. A tear ran down her cheek. I released her elbows and massaged a cheek. To our side was, overhead, a three dimensional portrait of The Last Supper. Something was definitely being served.

In the living room, alone with R.N. I pictured, envisioned steamy wonders. I lusted over how to use her. Instead, bethinking myself a girl, would I want be screwed over? I, instead, played the computer system. Now the computer system was attached to the new, flat screen T.V. It was, in turn, with 5.1 speakers attached. Why not alone with me? Not comfortable? I understand, I understand. The blasted weather.

"Please R.N.," I explained. "These Tropic Storms. I lost the signal. I have this fancy headphone device and software from the computer." While R.N. was fitting on the God Helmet, a little taken back, I explained it was head gear also used by on-line gamers at the Cyber net Cafe', out front. That was thinking on my feet. She bought it. While special, relaxing music E.M.G. sent me a while back, sifted on through the speaker system, R.N. thanked me.
"I should apologize," she told to the point. "I mean, I came in on the wrong foot. I mean, I never knew what I really made you feel ahh..."

I let R.N be as the God Helmet ran its course. What with the large purple swirl that continuously twirled in upon itself and special music from E.M.G.; dear R.N. was out of bounds, out of sorts and out of reality. Who was I to interfere? She looked lovely still, in the tight, white, nurses dress. I was glancing over her legs, clad in white stockings. Her feet were shod in white, flat sneakers. I was seeing her eyes. They were, as well as all her being, unaware of what took place. I left her such. Sneaking up to her side I whispered in one ear a rough stage whisper: "Yes. Of course you still have feelings... Those strange, unknown, sexual feelings for your dear Haxsaw. It is your secret. Just your secret and only your secret!" I walked away. I noted R.N. never flinched. I imagined R.N. in a see through bra and panties. I dreamed my hands waving before her face, commanding her do my bidding. I allowed the fantasy to slip off as one would any foolish childhood recourse.

The screen was revealing the purple swirl I got from Warp My Mind.com. Let me tell you; E.M.G. cooks great spaghetti feeds and offers fantastic aids, at his site. I highly recommend it over drugs or alcohol. Even Christians have written here, asking me questions. While not a life style, this is a fair way to tone off the edge, prior to prayer or meditation. I offer some truly off the wall subject matter in my presentations as well as meditative and even helpful files. The world is filled with so many differing people. Ten minutes later R.N. was slumped over, eyes closed. "Wow!"
I raced about. I was edgy, for some reason. Eh, simply explain her long bus ride must have exhausted her, right? Right! Right. I was looking over the books stacked more compactly beneath the new T.V. monitor. With less space, the shelves were more compressed. Should only L.N. have been as easy to read as a book. My heart truly did love and yearn for L.N. Why was L.N. so damn nasty? Why so snappy? My nerves were at edge. E.M.G. discussed this issue, somewhat. What a completely different mind these Nationalist have on this South Pacific Island.

Compacted like we are in my large house there never is enough room. I recall a time I cried before L.N. I watched as she spoke. She was disgusted I cried. "It is he never takes time to understand me," she muttered. Viewing R.N. I could see she was the long legged, sleek baby pacifier. Why, oh why run away from L.N., though she like a string of barbed wire, to only pick at R.N.? This is equated to an alcoholic picking yet another beer bottle. "Haxsaw! Cannot you see but best is stay the course?" I waved my arms while speaking to R.N., cat napping, so appeared, on my wrap around couch. "Geez'! I do love you for respecting me the way you have, R.N." I removed the God Helmet. The sound track was over as was the visual program.
About a few moments later R.N. was with flickering eyelids.

As she stood, swaying like field grass in a strong breeze so I supported her. A beaming smile was knitted into my features. "Thanks, R.N. I understand now."
"Oh?" she replied, hesitating.
"Yes!" I practically barked in response. Appearing quite as like a little dog I was excited with the rush of realization. "I see it now and what you feel and what you were trying share with me, R.N. It is so clear now! Thank you for being there." I was supporting her by the elbows again. With a firm grasp it seemed I manipulated her arms, to and fro, somewhat. R.N. realized this and tittered a little, over it.
"Well, as long as you keep it our secret, Haxsaw, okay?" R.N. then blushed. "I mean, I never want someone like L.N. or her mother finding out." My brows raised.
"Are you kidding me? I would tell L.N.'s mother, first thing!" R.N., standing quite more supportive in her nurse's uniform was daunted, as though slapped, hard!
"Our secret, Haxsaw?" R.N.'s facial features seemed to sag in disbelief. "What is wrong with you? And the way I feel for you, in secret?"
I beamed all over like a child finding a large coin on the sidewalk would.
"Yes! No more self doubt! No more feeling sorry for myself! I need stand up for myself, for a change. I thank you for giving me that edge..." Unfortunately, I never did finish the last to that sentence. It was seeing her. Those beautiful eyes, crossed! It was noticing her arms folding before her breasts. It was realizing she was pushing, yes, pushing at me, hard! Oh, brother.

R.N. was trying, actually trying though not well, at containing her temper, which rose hotter every moment! As her cheeks, then countenance turned red she waved up her arms, ready for combat. I took defensive mode. I brought arms over myself. One arm covered my skull, elbow raised high. The other arm was up, elbow before my chest. R.N. was striking with overrated passion.

"I never wanted anyone know our sexual feelings!!!" she thundered yet still on a shrill ranking voice. I was now at the floor, climbing under my large desk, beneath the staircase. While R.N. was kicking she explained, "I wanted go to bed with you, any minute!!! I just never dared ask!!!" Her rage was on the verge of tears. "How can you strike at me like that after all we went through?" It was then she removed a letter opener, stabbing me with it. I crawled further up behind the computer. Tangled within wires and heavy dust balls R.N. decided the best solution was to start stabbing the side to the desk. I could just make out a thick, short blade puncturing the side support to the desk. "Oh my God Helmet!"
I now realized what R.N. was actually reacting to were after effects of the God Helmet Program. Somehow, this reminded me of a combat position. I was reeling in flash backs of a time, long ago, while R.N. continued kicking what was becoming a now needing to be repaired, custom desk.

"Damn it! What can you say for yourself, Haxsaw?" R.N. was a shrilled voice sounding on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I was in no position nor mood to say much. Blood was streaming from my right shoulder.

"Um... I meant to say, at the first, R.N. you were always there for me. You know that secret is forever safe within my heart, mind and soul, dear. I should have explained. I mean tell what mercy plus joy you gave in discovering what I have to grow on, from this point..." From beneath the desk my muffled voice continued. "I mean, you and you alone showed me to be proud of myself. Never mind how heavily I am hurt, okay? Um... I was trying to thank you and you alone for you was the one that was there. Those deep, deep sexual feelings..." I coughed up some dust balls. "Those are just between you and me." It was then, like waves of ocean water, the tide turned.
"Really? You mean that?"
"Yes, dear. Why don't we work together? Clean up the place, okay, dear? I really have secret feelings, deep feelings, also. I was not one to share them."

It was next R.N. was giggling over this situation. We did work together, cleaning up the living room and ain't love grand? I am seated here, sighing over memories, none really happy. R.N. cleaned and dressed my stab wound so that just pulls some, when I stand and sit at this desk. Well, L.N. needs listen next. 'Ain't love grand?' was an album released by 'X' in 1985. What a mouthful. I need replace my desk. Next time I need check see insurance premiums are paid up before the God Helmet is used. I also need be very, very quiet!