Chapter 2 - The PTE

The Premie Peter Saga

Chapter 2

The Potty Training Eraser:

As I mentioned before Amanda and I had discussed having me back in full time diapers and using my diapers again like after my accident. Basically using diapers like a baby with no control.

It was late 1986, and we’d been married for a few years. Amanda continued to use her hypnosis skills with me during our play times, and had definitely become my Mistress or Domina. During our non-D/s time she was Mandy, my wife, lover and life partner.

Our lives were very comfortable both financially and socially and we enjoyed our D/s relationship more and more.  Amanda often went to Toronto, Canada to take workshops there from a therapist who worked with Trans people and the fetish community, and learned many new tricks.

She continued to implant triggers in me constantly, designed to bring out silly, humiliating behaviour and touch my humiliation buttons. She programmed me to respond to “Baby Talk Petie” by having my language, vocabulary and speech regress to that of a young toddler. Simple phrases, simple language and speech and I sounded like  typical two year old. Or “Sissy Baby talk Petie” and I’d have a sweet little lisp added to my speech.

Her programming was constantly designed to put me in humiliating situations, where I was powerless to resist the persona or behaviour she’d implanted. But also she’d often use her skills to implant desires or behaviours that we would both enjoy and have fun and pleasure carrying out.

Hence the Potty Training Eraser began.

I still had to wear diapers at bedtime every night as I generally wet myself in my sleep four or five times a week. During the day I was usually pretty good about making it to the toilet, but wore thick training panties ‘just in case’.

One of Amanda’s favourite inductions was the disappearing number method where a number appears on a blackboard and is then erased and you go deeper into trance with each descending number from 10 to 1. Amanda had instilled several quick induction triggers that would put me in trance and prepare me to go deeper, and the disappearing number induction would take me down REAL deep to where I’d accept all her suggestions readily and easily.

We discussed what she was going to do but not in much detail. She explained she was going to put me back in full time diapers and that I would be able to wear only diapers from now on. No more underwear, or anything but diapers and occasionally thick training panties if she allowed.

Then she’d slowly remove all my knowledge and memories of potty training until all I would remember and know was wearing diapers and making potty in my diapers, as a baby.

We started the ‘retraining’ on a Thursday night and she took me deep into trance and seemed to program me to submit totally to her suggestions and accept all her suggestions totally. She repeated this for a few sessions and then installed a trigger that could instantly return my subconscious to this state of total acceptance and submission, the could take me deeper into submission.

By Friday afternoon I was pretty well soft clay for her to mold any way she wanted. I was a drooling hungry mindless sponge waiting for Mistress to fill my mind with her suggestions.

And so it began:

“Petie you remember how you wore diapers all the time a little while ago. You remember how soft and thick and comfortable the diapers felt against you bottom and crotch. Nothing feels as soft and secure as a nice thick diaper. Nothing can make you feel as safe and secure and comfortable as nice thick diapers.

You’re wearing a nice thick diaper now Petie and you can feel how good it feels on your body and how good it makes you feel. Let the pleaseure of wearing diapers again fill your mind and body with the deep, constant need to wear only diapers from now on. Only thick, soft diapers can satisfy your deep craving and need to wear diapers.”

From now on you need and want to wear only diapers. No other form of underwear is acceptable or safe for you to wear. If you try to wear anything but diapers, or occasionally thick training panties, they will feel itchy, hot and scratchy and you will have to take them off immediately and put on your soft, thick diapers.

Only diapers make you feel safe and comfortable and only diapers look good on you. You love how a thick diaper looks on you and how it makes you look and feel.”

After a few repetitions, Yep that was it. I wanted to wear only diapers from now on. Nothing but diapers for this subby.

She ended the session removing my memory of the suggestions, so she could monitor how effective her programming was on my subconscious.  (I learned this from her letters after she passed away.)

The next morning I got up, in a soaked diaper, showered, shaved and went to get dressed for a meeting in the city. I went to put on my tighty whiteys and found them unbearable. Itchy hot and scratchy.

I spotted one of my white cloth diapers and baby panties and tried to put it on myself. Unable to get it pinned properly I asked Mandy to help, which she willingly did, smiling like a Cheshire cat.

That was the last time I ever wore anything but diapers, or occasionally training panties. I’ve been in diapers day and night since 1986.

I felt a bit strange going into the city to meet with clients with a bulky cloth diaper and baby panties on under my suit pants, but it felt strangely comforting and soothing. I was very aware I was wearing a diaper and the more I thought about it the better it felt.

The day went uneventfully enough, and I only wet a bit once. Then on the way home on the train I REALLY had to go, and couldn’t hold it. I gushed like I was draining a lake and prayed my diaper and panties would hold it. Thankfully they did.

I rushed into the house when I got home, and hit the shower stall to remove my soaked diaper and clean up. Mandy was waiting in the bedroom when I got out of the show with another diaper and fresh baby panties in her hand. She had me lay down and powdered me and lovingly diapered me, teasing me about not taking my diaper bag with me to change while I was away from ‘mommy Mandy’.

I made a mental note to carry spare diapers with me from now on when I had to be away from home.

After dinner we talked about my wearing diapers all day, even to work in the city, and how did I feel about it. I told her I loved the feeling of my soft diapers and they made me feel real good, but I was worried someone might see and make fun of me.

She said don’t worry I have the solution for you for that little problem. You’ll feel much better after tonight’s session.

After dinner when I finished dinner she called me into the den and put me under then reinforced my love of diapers and need to wear only diapers all the time. Then she added,

“You know you love your diapers and want and need to wear your diapers more than anything else. You know you need to wear diapers and soon you’ll really need to wear diapers to keep from wetting your pants. You know how ashamed you feel if you wet your pants like a little boy in school. Wetting your pants is the most shameful thing you’ve ever done or could ever do.

You don’t feel embarrassed about wearing diapers at all. You need your diapers and you know you need and want your diapers. Even if someone sees you in your diapers it doesn’t bother you because you need your diapers. Even if they ask why you wear diapers you can easily tell them you wet yourself like a baby and need diapers like a baby. It’s perfectly normal and natural for you to wear diapers because you need your diapers.”

And that was that. I needed my diapers and it was perfectly natural and normal to wear diapers all the time because I needed my diapers.

A few more session of that and I was fine going anywhere in my diapers. Even walking down the lane to get the paper or take out the garbage in just a shirt and my diaper and panties. It was perfectly normal and natural.

Once Mandy was satisfied I was perfectly happy and comfortable being in diapers all the time, she announced it was now time to retrain me to use my diapers all the time. No more potty or toilet or anything but my diapers for elimination from now on.

And so began the Potty Training Eraser, or PTE as we called it.

Mistress Amanda explained she was going to erase and remove all my memories and knowledge of potty training or ever using a toilet or anything but diapers to ‘go to the bathroom’. When she was done all I’d ever know was being in diapers and using my diapers as a baby.

She took me way down into the deepest trance using the disappearing number induction several times until my mind was thirsty sponge waiting her suggestions eagerly and willingly.

“Petie, you know how the disappearing numbers take you way down into deep hypnosis. As the numbers disappear you go deeper and deeper under my control. I control your thoughts, your beliefs and your body through your hypnotized mind. Just like the numbers I erase, anything that goes on the magic blackboard can be erased too, and we’re going to erase some special memories for you so you use your diapers just like when you had no potty training at all.

I want you to remember the last time you used the toilet or something other than your diapers to pee. See it appear in your memory and on the blackboard. Now I erase it with the magic PTE. It’s gone now, erased forever. Now the next time you used the toilet or potty appears, and as soon as it appears it is erased.

As fast as the memories come to your mind they are erased. Gone forever, never to be recalled or remembered again. At the speed of thought every memory, everything you know about potty training appears for a flash and is erased permanently, forever.

These memories will keep coming faster and faster at the speed of thought and will be erased just as quickly all the way back to when you only used your diapers to go potty. You will have no memory or knowledge using anything but your diapers to go potty.”

She repeated this several times, then suggested I would not remember this session but the PTE would remain in place working continuously until all knowledge and memory of potty training was permanently erased.

We retired to the living room to watch a movie, and a couple hours later I sat bolt upright and shouted, “I’ve had an accident. I wet myself”. To my mind these were accidents, I still thought I should use the toilet.

She cued me to go under and asked me what date it was. I told her November 23, 1984. She asked when I last went potty, and I told her this morning I had to have a BM. She then asked when I last went pee pee and I told her a few minutes ago in my training panties.

She was pleased. I’d unlearned almost two years of potty training knowledge and memories and was back to when I still wore training panties following my rehab after my accident.

The next morning I woke up quite wet, and Mandy changed my diaper and rediapered me and we got breakfast and I did some cleaning and house chores. By lunchtime I was soaked. I must have wet myself four or five times, and didn’t really remember doing it.

Mandy put me under again and asked me when I last went potty. I replied I didn’t know. I always wore diapers and used my diapers since I couldn’t’ control my bladder or bowels.

When she brought me out of trance and we discussed the revelations, she figured the PTE had taken me back to when I was totally incontinent following the accident and indeed was not potty trained.  She hadn’t figured on the PTE stopping at that time of my life, but it did fulfill it’s objective of taking me back to the time I had no potty training and used only my diapers to go potty.

And just to prove the point, I pooped my diaper right after lunch without any warning or awareness, except a bit of full feeling in my tummy.

I was un-potty trained. I had no idea of how to do anything but go potty in my diapers just as I did following my accident where I was rendered totally incontinent.

This did not please me at all. I still knew a grown man should be able to use the toilet. After all I’d been potty trained before the accident when I was a little kid, and hadn’t needed diapers since I was around 8, and then only for bedtime.

Throughout the day it really started to get to me, wetting constantly and having another dirty diaper after supper while we were working on some investment charts.

We talked about it and I explained it was really annoying, not humiliatingly fun to pee and poo in diapers, just embarrassing and annoying.

Mandy said “Petie come with me to the den, and let’s fix this now”. I obediently followed her to the den sitting in the chair she used for hypnosis sessions, and she put me under. Again the disappearing number induction took me way down and she deepened my submission and hypnotic state even further. Then she ‘fixed’ things.

“Petie tell me when was the last time you used a potty before your accident.”  And I told her, the afternoon before I drove home and got in the accident.

She continued “Fine Petie, put that memory on the magic blackboard and let the PTE erase it like all the memories it erased yesterday. Now the next memory comes in, and it too is erased, and the next and then the next over and over at the speed of thought. Every memory and every bit of knowledge and learning of potty training or using a potty you ever had all the way back to when you were a little baby and only knew to use your diapers for potty.

You may now have some memories of using a potty and you may still use a potty until all your memories are erased but one they are erased you will no longer have any knowledge or memory of using anything but your diapers to potty. You will have no memory or knowledge of potty training and can never learn again to be potty trained.

Anything you learn at any time about potty training will be erased permanently by the PTE as you sleep at night. You will soon be totally dependent on your diapers for all your potty needs and will never be potty trained again.

When you wet your diapers you will feel a rush of pleasure like a little orgasm fill your mind and your body and it will be totally pleasant and make you feel happy and pleased. Wetting your diapers is a strong source of pleasure and will always make you feel happy and pleased. It feels wonderful to wet your diaper and to be in a wet diaper.”

She repeated these a few times then brought me out of trance with no memory of the suggestions or session.

That evening I used the toilet a couple of times before bedtime, but did have one accident when I fell asleep watching some stupid show.

Mandy changed me for bed and asked me when I last used the potty. I told her yesterday morning. When she asked me what day it was I told her June 12, 1962. I was remembering from when I was 13 years old.

That night I must have wet several times again, and Mandy changed me lovingly. I made it to the potty several times that day and only had one little accident that evening while researching some investment news on my computer.

At bedtime as Mandy was diapering me she asked when I last used the potty, and I told her this morning. She asked what day it was and I told her Feb. 12, 1964. I was just under 5 years old in my potty training memories.

The next morning I was soaked and so wet I leaked into the bedpad. Even it was soaked. Mandy got an extra bedpad to put under me and gingerly removed the soaked diaper and wet bed pads, scooting me into the shower.  When I came out she had a fresh diaper waiting and lovingly diapered me, put a onesie on and my shorts so I could do some yard work.

Mid morning I came running into the house heading for the bathroom but it was too late. I soaked my diaper and it leaked down my legs. It was obvious that wasn’t the first wetting.

Mandy cleaned me up and change me into a fresh diaper, then asked when I last went potty. I thought for a few minutes and said “I don’t know. What’s potty?”

Mandy put me under and poked around in my subconscious memory until she was sure I didn’t know what a potty was how to go potty anywhere but in my diapers. I was never potty trained and only knew to use my diapers to pee or poo.

Mandy was very pleased, and so was I. Wetting my diapers was a great source of pleasure and I love wearing diapers and peeing my diapers and even pooing my diapers was fun.

Mandy had a couple of reinforcement sessions with me and made a special recording for me to listen to a couple of times a week for a few months.

By the end of a week we knew absolutely I had no potty training knowledge or memory and just wet and pooped in my diapers automatically. I sort of knew when I was going to pee or poo but didn’t know to do anything but go in my diapers. That was all there was to it. There is nothing else I could do.

And so ends the chapter of the PTE.

Chapter 3 – Babies wear diapers and other fun things coming soon!