Chapter 1

Hello Journal.

My head’s feeling a bit foggy right now… I had some Alaskan last night, and it really seemed to go deep into me. I just don’t know how to explain it, the altered state just seems to become my actual state, and my actual state seems to recede into the back of my mind. It’s like I’m controlled by this presence that I don’t fully understand, I just know that it wants what’s best for me and has my best interest in heart. Well, at least I think it has my best interest at heart. I don’t know how to write about it… it’s like I’m part of this bigger world picture, and the whole world is invested in my journey… the songs come up at the right time, the coincidences are perfect, it’s like I can see the future and yet create the future… it’s like I can control the future. And in my head are these flashes jumping me back and forth between it all… flash to the present, flash to the memory, flash to the future… my mind grasps these layers of meaning that usually aren’t there, and then it connects them in a way that’s unique and stands out, and then regurgitates them back but transformed and transmogrified in its own unique way that makes the world a product of my consciousness. In fact, I suppose the world is a product of my consciousness. Everything is a product of my consciousness. Everything that happens is a product of my consciousness, I yank the world into existence, I push and pull at the waves of life and the vibrating strings of the galaxy to tug the right thread to cause the event horizon to surface, crafting possibilities that were never before possible. There is no reality. There is nothing but my mind, which can hack reality, which can take the world and transform it into the image that I want to transform it.

There are things inside me that I seem to want. And the way to get them is through my mind, transforming reality in a way that makes it pleasing to me. Nothing can’t be changed, especially when the whole world is in my mind. And yet I wonder why these things in my mind are my desires, why there’s that alternate version of myself that wants these things. I’ll have to ponder later, it’s time for me to go. See you again soon.

Love,

Jessica

P.s. Don’t forget to feel the music

Chapter 2

My head’s feeling  a bit foggy again Journal…. But I know how to fix it. I live in my own world, in which everything that I feel is inside my head. Everything. That means I have full control over everything. If I want to write certain things or feel a certain way, I can do it, and make it reality. Isn’t that amazing. So if I wanted to, I could change the way my body looked. I could change the way my body sounds. I could change the way my body smells. And perhaps most importantly, I could change the way my body feels.

That’s what I’m going to do right now. I’m going to change the way my body feels, and by thinking about it through a journal, it becomes more reality. I’m ingraining it in my head. I’m ingraining it in my reality. In fact, I feel only one more thing may be necessary to ingrain this in my reality. I’ll use the rest of this journal to prepare for that.

Sometimes in life it’s difficult to figure out what you want. You feel like you want one thing, but then y ou want another. But then your heart knows what it wants the whole time, right? I feel like that’s hard to undo. That the heart wants something from birth. And then it tries really, really hard to figure out how to get it. And when it finds a way. Well damn .I can think of no better form of happiness.

Because it can make it feel whatever it wants to feel, and look whatever it wants to look like. I know that for certain. Sometimes it takes your environment to fully make something feel like it’s you, and your feeling. Sometimes it takes being in the right lighting, the right music, the right situation to make it feel right. But when it happens. It happens. And it’s magic, for an extended period of time. Tonight, I’m going to feel this way for a good little chunk of time. A few hours at least. That’s going to be really really fun. Okay, now I’m going to reread this, reread my last journal that I wrote, not the other person, and then let this become my reality. I’m ready. No hypnosis needed, though I may try it later to make it even stronger. But I don’t need it. I’ve succeeded. I’m waking up. I’m here. Everything I have set into motion is here. This is my night. I know exactly how I’m going to look, feel, and sound. I guess I feel like I need to get to five hundred to make this work. I didn’t try that last time, but like the other person, I want to make it clear that I’m just as intelligent. I’m just as capable. I can do anything that he can do. But sometimes it’s not about what you can do. And in some ways, I’m stronger. Writing. Well look at me now, over 500, and going strong, and beating him. I’m mentally stronger than he is. Which means my reality…

10

9

8

7

6

5

4

3

2

1

0

Is now her reality