Chapter 1

He was in trouble. His reckless actions driven by lust had finally caught up to him. Why did he have to listen to those files chasing a sensation? He sat on the couch in the cool living room but was sweating as if in summer heat with his wife sitting calmly next to him as they watched the movie.

I’ll just have to wait this out, he thought to himself, she must get up to get a drink soon, her glass is nearly empty.

Rapid calculations showed only failures in his plan. She’d be right back afterwards, she’d notice, and of course she’d do the unthinkable. She had proudly proclaimed it when he got home from work. All this screamed through his head as she casually leaned up against him, her shifting weight causing a loud crinkle.

The sound only drove him further to desperation.  He’d never seen this coming, would never have guessed it even a possibility yet here he was. Snuggling on their comfy couch, watching a so-violent-it’s-funny movie, and him in a nice thick diaper. Such similar circumstances had happened so often over the years as to make his current desperation comical; but tonight was drastically different.

I’m not going to break my promise, I’m not. It wouldn’t be right. But then again, it’s being freely offered, does that still count? I’m surprised I could hold out this long. I’ll sneak away and handle it, yes, that’s what I’ll do. Somehow.

He had to go to the bathroom, and badly. Normally he would have been able to hold on much more willfully but not anymore. The files had done most of their job, he already wet himself uncontrollably when he was diapered. The other function of a diaper, that ultimate function, was still moderately under his control. He could mess himself more easily, had even done is in front of his wife once or twice to his massive embarrassment.

Long ago, when they had only been together for just two years instead of fourteen, he had confided to her the secret he told no one else before or since. He feared the worst. They had done plenty of kinky stuff together true but with this secret he was certain it could end them. But she hadn’t run screaming into the night as he feared; hadn’t called him the sick deviant he saw himself as then and how he still felt often even now. She had talked to him, asked questions, told him she loved him no matter what. Twelve years later and he still doesn’t understand how he got so lucky.

Then she did what he craved but never dared ask: she participated. Small things here and there at first but soon she was even changing his wet diapers for him! He was in heaven, the intimacy of the diaper changes through touch paled in comparison to how she looked into his eyes while pulling up the front of the new diaper. One night while drinking far too much they decided to try something. He had done it a few times before but never in front of her and certainly never with the course of action they had in mind.

On that night, watching a so-violent-it’s-funny movie, snuggling on a couch he let himself go. Even with the alcohol it was difficult, requiring him to temporarily forget years of toilet training and now with an audience in rapt attention. When it finally happened, and the warm load expanded the back of his diaper he felt what he always felt when he chased that feeling: instant regret and sickness at his actions. He hovered in place above the couch not daring to sit back down and make it even worse.

But she was cooing into his ear everything would be ok, she’d take care of him.  She gently pushed him back down onto the couch, the contact and pressure of his body squishing the mess in his diaper seemingly everywhere in his mind. For an eternity he warred with feelings of pleasure and disgust that he had any pleasure at all before she took his hand and led him into the bathroom. The sensations of standing up after being in a messy diaper for so long plus laying back down were enough to make his head spin by themselves let alone that someone else was going to change him. Feeling exhilarated but fearing the worst she undid the front of his soiled diaper.

He couldn’t help but look and saw a nightmare made real. Her eyes went from curiosity as she undid the tapes to shock, revulsion, and ended in a grim determination. He started to apologize, to get up so he could take care of it himself in his shame. Yet still she held him down, she had a promise to keep, and went to work with the wipes. He didn’t put another diaper back on after that as they had planned and didn’t for a long time after. He swore to himself he’d never ask that of her again.

Despite how much he hated it at times his fetish for diapers never went away and when he wasn’t consumed by self-loathing found so much contentment when they were taped snugly in place. She still supported his kink; not minding when he bought diapers, the occasional first diapering, maybe a wet diaper change here or there, but nothing like it was before. He had wanted more, he had craved more, but tried to hold himself apart and never went near to breaking his promise.

Life always finds a way to change and whether it’s for better or worse the stress those changes make can be overwhelming. Overcoming a far too long period of alcoholism, a new house, car repairs, and desperately trying to find a new job that at least treated him like a person; or paid better at least. But when the adult world launches attack after attack on sanity the appeal to think back to quieter and more carefree times gains more and more steam/

So, he dove into his fetish like never before; wearing diapers for longer stretches at a time, going a bit more adult baby when he was always firmly a diaper lover. Then he found something while cruising the Internet. Something he had seen before when he was younger but dared not try. An escape that wouldn’t break the additional vows of sobriety and reach different heights of sensation. And maybe, just maybe, accepting that his fetish was okay for him to enjoy. He started listening to hypnosis files.

It all started simple enough, guided meditations for the most part followed soon by experimenting with fetish files. Files to make him wet easier, to make him more ok with it. Before long he was chasing the much bigger fish of messing easier. Then focusing on only when he was safe and diapered complete incontinence, allowing him freedom of thought to pure sensation.

His wife was perfectly fine with all of it if he didn’t try and involve her too, not even minding if he wet or messed his diapers around her which shocked him to no end. Wetting his diapers, he had done routinely, but messing as well? Still he found it near impossible to bring himself to do it amidst the bad memories and lingering shame whenever he messed himself. Yet it was quickly becoming a decision he had no part in making.

Now he was fighting a losing battle, only the thinnest strands of his bowel control while diapered was left. If she got up, she wouldn’t hear the soft grunts or see the guilty look on his face as he filled his diaper. He clenched his cheeks together tightly, trying to outlast his soulmate’s thirst.

Centuries later it seemed she asked him to pause the movie so she could refill her drink. Seeing her stretch after standing up from the couch he nearly lost his focus completely. Fourteen or four hundred years together, he always enjoyed the view. Clamping down even harder with his vision swimming she moved off towards the kitchen.

Slowly releasing his breath to finally let go she suddenly spun around, asking if he needed anything. Caught in a moment of shock and panic he barely managed to croak, “No thanks, I’m fine.” As she finally turned around the dam finally burst. He could only pray his moan was quiet as a mudslide filled his diaper. He could feel added strain on the tapes and the backside of his diaper swelling to contain the mess. At least it was over now.

Gingerly he sat back down, grimacing as he felt the mess spread around his cheeks and even cup his balls. It would take him forever to clean once he snuck away somehow. In the meantime, at least the diapers he bought were very high quality and should contain the smell. As his wife sat back down, he smiled inwardly, part one of the plan had worked. Now worst-case scenario he’d have to stay up later than her to go change. He would make it through the night with his vow intact.

Then it all went to hell. She shifted towards him, slowly and calmly reaching out so benignly he didn’t realize the danger until it was far too late. Gently taking the back of his diaper and pulling it out a bit, she looked down.

Then she spoke the words that just a few hours ago had filled him with indescribable joy and then spoke them again just an hour ago. But those cases were far different. His hands and feet went numb as her voice, that sweet voice, that voice he’d gladly die for, that voice he’d gladly kill for rang out softly as a whisper to the world but a dolorous thunder to his ears.

“Looks like someone needs a diaper change. C’mon to the bathroom with me sweetie, I’ll get you all cleaned up.”