First, this story is 100% real. Every word. Every detail. I think that's important because fantasies to me are boring. The real thing is so much better.

Forgive me, this post is long, but I think you'll enjoy it.

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I am a bi-sexual married man, but I lean heavily toward gay. Truth be told, I'm probably really gay and just don't want to admit it to myself.

Growing up, I experienced some of the usual experimentation that most of us do. I tried to be interested in girls (and I was to a degree), but I usually found myself far more interested in other guys. While most guys wanted to sneak a peek in the girl's locker room in high school, I was more than satisfied checking out my peers in the boy's locker room.

I didn't lose my virginity until I was 26 years old. I had been "in love" with a girl since I met her when I was 15. We formed a deep friendship, but I was always afraid I would mess up the friendship if I approached her for anything more. We maintained our friendship for over a decade. Eventually, she moved to another state, but we continued speaking over the years. One day, out of the blue, she called me and explained that her husband had been abusive. Long story short, we communicated about it for several months, I told her how I really felt about her, and convinced her to leave him if he really was abusive. Six months later, she left him for me. A week later, I was fucking her silly.

It was the most incredible thing I had ever experienced, and I felt sure that fucking this woman would remove my gay desire.

Except, it didn't. She was a great fuck. Sexy was very sexy. She was willing to do just about anything. But I still couldn't get cock out of my mind.

She eventually left me too. She was like that, jumping from man to man. It dawned on me that her first husband really wasn't abusive. She just said the things she needed to say to manipulate me into helping her get her way.

Once again, as with my first wife, being married to another woman did nothing to remove my gay desires. And I finally had enough of her lying about sleeping with other men. What's good for the goose was good for the gander I figured.

But after months of looking at the website, reading all of the rules, the instructions, the FAQ's, I gave in.

Finally.

I made the 30-minute drive to the bathhouse one Sunday afternoon. I was literally shaking the whole way. I talked myself into turning the car around a hundred times and talked myself right back out of it. I kept going. I told myself I would just check the place out, but not do anything. Having decided to cheat on my wife with a man earlier that day, now I told myself that I wouldn't cheat, I'd just check out the scene. I wanted so desperately to be fucked by a man, but I told myself I wouldn't go that far. I would just watch other guys.

Finally, I arrived. I parked as far from the street as I could. I was scared shitless. My hands were shaking. My mouth was dry. I was as excited about sex as I had ever been in my life, but this time, a woman was the farthest thing from my mind.

I sat in the car for probably an hour, watching man-after-man going inside. I thought about what it meant that I would likely soon be cheating on my wife with another man but then told myself over and over that I would just watch and so it was okay.

Finally, I just said "FUCK IT!" and went inside.

It was dark in the lobby. I could hear music blaring in the background. There was clearly some scent that they were pumping into the air. It smelled very masculine. The guy behind the desk asked if I wanted a room or a locker. Since I had been reading the FAQs on their website for months, I knew the difference. I reasoned that I should get a room because I could use it to get away from other men for a while if I needed to. I paid my entrance fee. The man gave me some lube, a condom, a towel, and a key to my room. He told me that condoms were free and absolutely required. Good on them for that!

I went through the second door. Now I was really inside. The air was dry and it was very dark. More of that masculine scent hit my nostrils. The lighting was dim and red. I finally found my room. I took off most of my clothing but kept my shirt on and my underwear. I had worn a pair of tiger print boxer briefs. They screamed "I'M GAY! COME GET ME!".

I left my room and wandered through the place. Many of the rooms were empty. I couldn't figure out where the men were that had been in the parking lot. Each room had a TV with porn playing. I found the locker area. I found the toilet area which was really more for water sports than for answering nature's call.

Finally, I found men. Lots of them.

I wandered into a room that had about ten bunk beds in it as well as the usual TV with porn playing. Some of the men were just sitting or laying a bed jacking off. Others were giving blow jobs. Two guys were full-on fucking. I was absolutely mesmerized. I had never seen two men fucking in person before. They were both incredibly sexy and very built. The top was a beautiful white guy. His bottom was an equally gorgeous black man. The bottom was laying on his tummy while the top was fully laying down on him fucking him slowly and methodically. It was the hottest thing I ever saw. He fucked him and fucked him until he finally came in a loud grunt.

I couldn't believe this was happening to me.

I found a bed and laid down in it. I pulled out my dick and start jacking off to the porn on the TV. After a few minutes, a new guy entered. He was fully nude except for his towel. He was across the room from me, but we made eye contact. I knew from the FAQs that there was a code to these places to let another guy know you're interested. I stared at him and continued to stroke. He did the same thing. Every so often, we'd look away momentarily but then would look back.

We were doing "the dance."

And then it happened. I cheated on my whore wife. With a man.

He literally flew over to me and pushed me down into a supine position. He grabbed my underwear and took it off and instantly swallowed my cock. It all happened so quickly that I didn't even realize what was happening until this man was sucking my cock.

A. Man. Was. Sucking. My. Cock.

This was the first time my cock had been inside a man's mouth.

It couldn't believe this was happening. It was amazing! The old adage that only a man really knows how to satisfy another man? Yeah. That's true.

He finally came up for air. He looked up at me.

"Do you fuck?" he asked me.

SHIT! Here it was. Decision time. I promised myself that I would NOT let it go this far. I was about to break that promise.

"Never have," I said.

"Will you fuck me?" he asked.

Loooooooooong pause.

I closed my eyes as if this would make the decision easier to bear. "Yes," I said.

He took charge. He took my condom and slipped it onto my raging hard cock. He got on top of me and finally, finally, **FINALLY** my cock was penetrating a man.

He slowly took me inside of him. Once I was fully in him, he began riding me. This was insane. It was the most incredible thing I had ever experienced. The fear mixed with the heat and the lust and the result was beyond my wildest imagination.

I watched him as he rode me. It. Felt. So. Fucking. Good. I could feel his cock slapping against my tummy as he rode up and down. I put my hands on his midriff and ran them up to his chest. For the first time I felt hair on a sexual partner, and then small nipples and no breasts.

I could believe this was happening. It was wrong on every single level. I gave myself over to it and fucked this man.

Then, the worst happened! I felt the condom break. I was terrified and I literally threw him off of me. He offered to go get some more lube and another condom. I nodded.

"Don't go anywhere. I want to fuck more!" he said as he disappeared.

I continued to stroke my cock and true to his word, he came back. He slipped a new condom on me and lubed me up. If this was going to continue, I was going to take charge.

My ABSOLUTE favorite position is the one I saw earlier in this very room, which the bottom laying prone and the top laying prone on his back. If I was doing this, I was going to experience that.

I told my gay lover to lay on his stomach. I lubed his asshole and I penetrated him. He didn't take me this time. I took him! I didn't go slow. I was going to FUCK this man. I fully gave myself over to homosexuality (if just for a few moments) and I shoved my cock into this man's asshole. He moaned in appreciation.

Like a dog in heat, I pumped him and I fucked him. He moaned how amazing it was to be getting fucked in a room full of men watching us. I told him I agreed.

I fucked him and I fucked him. I fucked him like I would fuck my wife. Except this wasn't my wife. This wasn't even a woman. I fucked him some more.

Then I came. I exploded. Not in my wife. Not even in a woman. I was inside a man's asshole. And I used his asshole until I came. It was incredible. It was so insanely different. I've never been the same since. And I never will be.

I left the room and showered. I went back to my room and dressed. I left. Quickly. I had wanted to stay longer and do more, but I was done for now. I was filled with a mixture of lust, and terror from what I had just done.

Looking back, my real disappointment from that day is that I didn't allow this man or any other man to top me

When I am with a woman (and now when I fuck my third wife), I am aggressive, and I want to be. But when I am with a man, what I REALLY want is to be a submissive bottom. That day, I was too scared to bottom. I desperately wanted to be submissive, to suck cock and to feel a man enjoying himself inside of me, but I couldn't. I was too scared to go there. So I did all the fucking.

One day I will finally give myself over to this completely. Ultimately I want to be controlled and used by men strictly for their pleasure.

One day, I will finally know what it feels like to be invaded by a penis.