“BARK!”

Andrew blinked, looking up from the paper he'd been trying to write. “Trying” being the operative word; he was no stranger to 2 AM night-before-it-was-due papers, but this one was being a pain. So any distraction was good. But what was that noise...?

“BARK!”

Ah, there it was again! He grinned and stood, stretching aching muscles before moving over to his “Beam shrine”. Beam: The Cartoon SuperHero! And Puppy! The movie had come out a week before, staring Beam, a white cartoon mutt saving the mundane world from Today's Evil Villain. One part superhero mockery, one part cute kids movie. Andrew loved it- so of course he'd gotten the-

“BARK!”

-toys. One of which was now barking for no particular reason. Andrew snagged the plushie and petted it a bit. It barked once, like it was supposed to, and the persistent barking stopped. “That's weird. I wonder if something bumped it?” He shrugged, set it down, and spent a moment admiring the rest of his collection- two superhero barking Beam plushes, five more regular plushes- some of the Superhero mode Beam, some of his  mundane dog 'disguise' Spot, another talking plush, a “I was there” opening day pin, even “Beam vs the VILLIAN!” playing card game.

Andrew laughed. “No wonder Scott thinks I'm obsessed. Eh, the perks of having a -good- student job.” and reluctantly turned back to finish his paper. “Gotta keep that GPA up, which means I've got to finish this blasted paper...”

“BARK!”

Andrew stopped in midstep and turned around. Sure enough, the same plush was barking again. “Oh crap. He's going to wake up Scott at this rate.” Snagging the dog made it stop barking again, but once he put it down- 

“BARK!”

“Arg, dammnit!” Andrew shook his head and flipped the plush over, flipping the off switch. He hated to do that- the barking Beams were so cute, and really impressed people who came over- but dealing with a sleepy, hung-over, pissed off roommate would be worse. Then he dove- well, waded- back into the paper.

“BARK!”

Andrew blinked, went over to the toy shelf, and checked the toy. Sure enough, it was off. He waited a few moments, then set it down and started to return to his desk.

“BARK!”

He shrugged, and flipped off the other two talking plushes, then turned back to his desk. He had barely turned around when

“BARK!

Andrew blinked, and turned back to the toy shelf. There weren't any more barking toys! Had one of his friends snuck in something else to pull a prank? He stood there, watching and listening closely, ignoring any distractions...

“BARK!”

...and his eyes widened as he realized just what was making the noise. The toys weren't barking. He was! “The fuck?” He rubbed his throat, wondering how he'd not noticed that, and more importantly why in the world he was barking- barking?!- without meaning to.

“BARK!”

And it seemed to be happening more often, too. His hips swayed, and he shook himself as he

“BARKED!”

and realized he was wagging his butt like he had a tail. Then something thumped his leg. He jumped, twisted around, and looked down, starting to gasp in shock

“BARK!”

Two hours later...

Scott woke in the next room over, flinging the pillow off his head, then rubbed his head and grumbled to himself. “If Andrew doesn't shut those toys up, I'm going to have to take some scissors to their heads and cut their voiceboxes out!” The barking had gone on and on all night. First one toy, then another, deeper one, then ALL of them. At once! Constantly! He could have sworn one sounded almost frantic, too, but he put that down to not enough sleep. Every time he'd doze off

“BARK!”

...and there it was again. He groaned, flipped out of bed with one arm up to block the early-morning sun streaming in from his window, and yanked on a shirt. Enough was enough; it was 6 AM and Andrew still hadn't done anything! “He's got to be out at some girl's room again. There's no way even that Beam lunatic could put up with those toys this long!”

“BARK!” SLAM!

Scott threw open his door, stalked across the common room, and rained knocks on Andrew's closed door. Something black and shiny darted across his peripheral vision and out the main door, but he was too tired and angry to notice. “Hey, Andrew! You in there? Shut up the stupid toys already man, you kept me up all night!” No answer. Scott sighed. “Yep, he's gotta be out. And the door's locked, too. Well, that's fixable..”

“BARK!”

The apartment- really a glorified dorm- door locks were old, cheap ones, and Scott just had to twist the knob in a certain way for the lock to catch, jam, then pop open. The door swung open to a loud

“BARK!”

and the most bizarre scene Scott had ever seen. In the middle of the floor was a shiny, bigger-than-life Beam plushie, the “Do Not Look Into Laser” tag on his collar shining in the light. Scattered all about was Andrew's entire collection, looking for all the world like they'd been in the middle of playing with each other, with the man himself nowhere in sight. That by itself wasn't that bad.

The fact that all the toys were moving was another story. Scott blinked and rubbed his eyes, opening them again just in time to see all the toys turn to look at him. “What the-”

“BARK!”

“-hell? Andrew must have gotten some strong stuff or-” The big plush grinned- grinned?!- and crouched down, tail wagging hard.

“BARK!”

-some-AAAAAA!” Before he could finish the thought, the big plush threw itself at him, slamming into his chest with a solid THUMP and sending Scott to the floor. Then it started to slurp his face with a soft, fluffy tongue. “Arg, what the- get off you...whatever the hell you are.” Instead it

“BARKED!”

right in his face. Scott shook himself and pushed the plushie off. It fell to the floor with a yip, then stood and pranced around him, yipping expectantly. Scott made a face. It was weird to be applying that to a plush- even a jumping, barking one- but that was the only word that came to mind. The stupid thing was expecting something.

“BARK!”

And it was as loud as ever, too. And in stereo. Scott turned back to Andrew's room and slammed the door shut, then got knocked over by the plush again. “Dammnit, stop that!” But it just laplaplaped his face instead, an odd fuzy warmth spreading from its touch. Like it was drooling on him. Scott reached up, pushed it off again, then wiped at his face, a few long, shiny white hairs coming away.

“BARK!”

In stereo again. But not from the door. Scott shook himself, then opened his mouth to wonder what was going on and 

“BARKED!”

instead. He froze, hand going to his throat, then up to his face. More fuzzy white drifted into his vision. But this time he tugged on it, and it didn't come free. And the warmth wasn't going away. He dashed past the dog, yipping despite himself, and into his room. There was a THUMP as the plush slammed into the door, then whined and started to paw at the latch.

“BARK!”

And they both barked. Scott shuddered as he leaned up against the closed door- no matter how he tried, he couldn't stop himself from barking along with the- the- what WAS that thing, anyway? And this fuzz...he ran from the door to the bathroom, and a mirror. There he got a fresh shock: his plain brown hair, hair that previously had gone past his ears and nearly to his collar in back, was nearly gone. In its place was a shock of shiny white fur,  with a lock of brown here and there. Even as he stared, more of his remaining hair receded and turned white. And plasticy looking, too. Like...”Oh mother of FUCK. Plushie fur? What is that damn thing doing to me?!”

“BARK!” THUD!

The door slammed open as the plushie pushed through the cheap lock and pounced on Scott from behind. Scott moan and twisted, trying to shove it away, but it lay on his back, pinning him to the bathroom floor. It seemed heavier, larger. And it was 

“BARKING!”

right in his ear, in between eager laps at his ears and neck. He found himself barking and yipping in time with the plush, then even more, even as its soft, tickling tongue spread more of the whiteness across his neck and down his back. Then, despite himself, his rump lifted up and began to wag under the plush as a long, plastic tail sprouted from his ass. “Oh my- YIP! What the ARF- is..happen..WOOF!”

“BARK!”

The plush rolled off him and circled around in front. But Scott found his arms and legs too weak to support him- he couldn't even stop his tail- his tail- from wagging. Or the barking. Then the plush licked his face, and his eyes crossed as he looked at his suddenly longer, and shiny black, nose. Then he 

“BARKED!”

and his tongue hung out. Scott shuddered, trying to resist the impulses that kept popping up- but they felt good. Why did it feel good to

“BARK!”

“BARK!”

Then something caught his eye- a squeaky tennis ball, flying past. Before he knew it he dropped to all fours and vaulted over the plush, mouth open wide and aimed at the ball. His nose blackened completely then sprung outwards into a full canine muzzle just as he snapped his jaws shut on the ball. It

“SQUEEKED!”

and a tidal wave of white flooded Scott's body, arms and legs reshaping as the plush fur overtook them, hands shifting into paws. By the time he hit the ground, he was a black and white Beam plush. His fake plastic eyes widened a bit and he tried to drop the ball, but just

“SQUEEKED!” 

it instead. He closed his eyes and moaned as the other plush came over and 

“BARKED!”

in his ear. Each squeak, each bark, was adding more and more compulsions to him. The doggish toy nature was overtaking him, and Scott felt a bubble of joy sliding upwards. He tried to force it down, to deny the changes and behaviors. He had to think, had to change back had to...

“BARK!”

“SQUEAK!”

...had to play, had to cuddle had to

“BARK!”

Four hours later

“This is KPUP News, your source for the latest live news. I'm Matt McFox.”

The camera pans over an apartment building, wrapped in “POLICE LINE DO NOT CROSS” tape. Several officers can be seen, scratching their heads and examining a huge pile of toys on the lawn. “In what police initially thought might be a mass kidnapping but are now are calling a massive prank, the entire West Hall of Nowhere College has disappeared during the night, leaving behind thousands of Beam toys of all shapes and descriptions. The prank was only noticed when a teacher in a nearby building came over to the building to complain about the noise- which he discovered was from hundreds of barking Beam plushes. There whereabouts of the students, and how they managed to fill the apartment-dorm so completely, are unknown at this time.”

Ten hours later

“This is KPUP evening news...”

“BARK!”