therapy chapter 4

A few times over the next couple days I was beset with deep guilt about how I felt and reacted to my wife that night I had come home and found her masturbating. During my next session I discussed all of this with Stephany, including my suspicions that she had hypnotized my wife to not pay attention to what was going on in therapy.

To my surprise, the doctor admitted everything. "Yes, I did hypnotize her," she said. "I wanted to keep her from being curious or suspicious about what we're doing here in therapy, so I gave her a suggestion not to worry about anything and to accept everything you tell her about our sessions. Then, I reinforced this with some very powerful sexual suggestions. How to you feel about this, Mark?"

"Well," I replied, unsure of myself. "I guess I'm kind of uneasy about it, but, well, I don't know. For some reason, this doesn't bother me much, although I keep thinking somehow that it should."

"That's very good, Mark," she replied reassuringly. "This means that you're progressing really well. But I mean that question to be more immediate for you."

"I'm not sure what you mean."

She looked at me for a moment, and she then went on. "OK. I'll put it slightly differently for you. First, take a deep breath and focus on your body and how it feels right now."

This is something she had asked me to do many times in the past, and I did what she said.

"Good," she said. "Now keep focusing on your body and whatever sensations you might be having, and then think about the question I'm about to ask you."

She paused again and I nodded.

"OK. Now Mark, answer this truthfully: think about how your wife looked to you when she was masturbating the other night. Imagine it."

I nodded.

"Good," she continued. "Now tell me -- did you feel any sexual arousal when you saw her?"

I wanted to be able to say I did, but no matter how much I tried, I had to be honest and tell her that I didn't feel anything like that.

"That's good, Mark. That's very good," she replied, surprising me.

"Now," she continued. "Think about this, and please answer just as truthfully."

I nodded.

"OK," she went on. "Picture your wife masturbating again. Now, focus on your sexual sensations, and answer this: how do you feel knowing that I made her act that way?"

I suddenly felt some sexual arousal, and I hesitatingly admitted that to her.

"Good. That's very, very good, Mark. So it really turns you on when you think about how I made your wife become obsessed with her masturbation and sexual arousal, correct?"

I sheepishly admitted she was right.

"And it turns you on all the more," she continued, "to know that I also made her not suspect anything about your sexual feelings towards me. Right?"

I nodded reluctantly.

"Feel your penis growing in your pants," she whispered hypnotically.

I suddenly noticed that I had a semi-erection that was still growing.

"Yield to the feelings," she droned. "Everything that happens here between us is private. No one will know but us. Not even your wife. And if she ever does suspect, I'll make her get totally lost in her masturbatory obsession. Remember how absorbed in her pleasure she was the other night, Mark?"

I nodded, spellbound.

"Well, I can get her even hotter than that, and for much longer," she said. "I can get her so wrapped up in her obsessive pleasure that I could masturbate you to orgasm right in front of her and she won't even notice. Look at your penis, Mark. It's starting to grow in your pants."

I looked and saw myself with the beginnings of an erection slowly pushing out the front of my pants. I became quite embarrassed, and I started to fidget and attempt to cover it up.

"No, Mark," Stephany said, gesturing me to stop trying to hide my growing hard-on. "Take a deep breath and relax. Don't fight your erection. Let it just happen. Let yourself show it to me."

I had gotten so that I pretty much trusted the Doctor, and I more or less calmed down and did what she asked. I felt throbbing sexual pleasure in my penis as the Doctor looked at me with an enigmatic expression on her face.

"Now, Mark," she said after a moment. "Your penis is starting to fully respond again, which should give you cause for optimism about your difficulties. But you must also not forget that this is a very critical phase of your therapy. It's extremely important that your wife doesn't interfere, no matter how good her intentions are. And as I'm sure you could see, I didn't cause her any pain or discomfort. On the contrary, I'm sure I was able to cause her to experience more sexual pleasure than she ever experienced before."

When she said this, she suddenly looked very sexy to me, and I began to feel even more sexual pleasure as I sat there. Stephany seemed to sense this, and she said, "The thought of me turning your wife on so powerfully is starting to get you aroused, isn't it?"

I felt fear at her accurate perception, and at first I looked down, embarrassed to answer.

"Don't fight it," she said, almost in a whisper. "Feel your penis grow in your pants. I want it to get long and very, very hard for me."

I felt myself yielding to her words, and soon I was totally erect.

"That's it," she whispered. "Now just look at me and feel the pleasure in your pants."

I looked up and gazed at her. She was just sitting motionless in front of me, but there was something about her facial expression or perhaps the way she was sitting that made her look extremely sexy. I felt my cock throbbing.

"Now," she whispered. "I think it's time for your penis to become soft again."

With that, I felt my erection slowly subside along with my arousal.

After I was totally soft again, she resumed speaking in her normal, professional manner. "It's important that you totally yield control of your sexual responses to me. I'm very proud of you, Mark," she said. "You're yielding very well to me already."

I smiled, and then she asked me to continue telling her about my guilt concering my wife. She discussed it with me for several minutes, reassuring me that I have nothing to be concerned about, because, "soon enough you'll be able to satisfy her again -- if you so choose."

There was that "if you so choose" phrase again. Again, I felt uneasy about it, and this time I realized why and told her what bothered me: I was concerned that Stephany was somehow leading me away from wanting my wife any more. I worriedly told her how cold and detached I was while watching my wife masturbate in such a hot, frenzied manner, and how I almost guiltlessly manipulated her to not think about what disturbed her about what the therapist had told her on the phone.

"It's normal for you to worry about this at this stage of your therapy," Stephany replied. "But I want you to realize that I didn't mean what you thought I meant when I said 'if you so choose'. I said that on purpose: I want to emphasize that your shouldn't feel any performance anxiety about pleasing your wife. 'If you so choose,' simply means that you are under absolutely no pressure or time constraints to get hard for her. It can happen whenever the time is right, and I'm just trying to encourage you to let go and allow things to happen more naturally. Do you understand?"

I found myself wanting to believe her, and I nodded affirmatively.

"Good," she said. "So just remember that what I did and what I might do again to your wife is simply in the interest of allaying any fears that she has, and to keep her from upsetting the delicate situation we're creating here for you. If you allow me to guide you through this very critical phase of your learning, you'll see how sexually rewarding and arousing our work will be for you. I'm sure you don't want to jeopardize that, Mark, right?"

I agreed with her.

"Very good," she replied. "You're really starting to respond well to what I'm teaching you. Now that you have so successfully dealt with all this uncertainty and anxiety, I think it's time for you to move on to the next level. Do you think you're ready for what's next?" she asked.