How Simon Got Pregnant

Simon lay on the beach, deep in thought.

Alongside him were two mates from college days, Mark and Paul. They had known each other ten years now and came on holiday every year together. Since graduating, they had all got good jobs and the salaries that went with them.

The prosperity showed on the bodies of Paul and Mark. They both had classic beer bellies - still quite lean but with prominent guts. Of the two Paul’s was the bigger.

Simon was the odd one out in this respect. His gut was perfectly flat as it always had been. Despite a fortnight of too many beers and pizzas, it was still perfectly flat.

More than that, he was a very skinny guy anyway at 130lb and 5’10 tall. This was what he was brooding on now.

For as long as he could remember, he had wanted to be bigger and really wanted a decent gut. His best mates had them, why couldn’t he?

Paul and Mark knew what he wanted too and did all they could to help, but Simon could not gain weight. This had been another fortnight of failure despite eating for an entire army.

To make matters worse, he was convinced that Paul’s gut was stretching his tee shirt even further. The holiday ended and they returned to their normal routines. As usual they met every Friday night for a few beers and to catch up on the week’s news. Not long after they returned Mark came in carrying the local paper. He showed Simon a small advertisement in the classified section: “GROW A GUT FOR NEXT SUMMER Tel: 0789 546 5568” was all it said.

Simon thought what a strange ad it was. Most people tried to shed their surplus pounds, though he had to admit it was just what he was looking for. However, he was reluctant.

He had been trying for years to grow a gut and from what he had eaten, he should have been huge by now. He thought this was probably just some gimmick to relieve you of a lot of your money, but with no result. He knew he couldn’t gain weight.

Paul thought it was a great idea. There was nothing to lose by ringing the number and he encouraged Simon to think what it would be like to proudly display a gut like his, maybe even bigger than his, on the beach next summer.

Simon took a lot of persuading but in the end he weakened and phoned the number on his mobile. His call was answered quickly. The guy on the other end of the line said that he had developed a new technique which gave a guy a gut and as Simon would be the first of the experiment, if he agreed to go ahead, the treatment would be free.

He explained that it would be best for them to meet to talk about it. Simon agreed and asked for directions. “The portakabin between the main hospital building and the maternity unit” Dr Duff explained, “and don’t eat anything from now until we meet tomorrow afternoon”.

Despite the support from Paul and Mark, Simon wondered what he had started. But as the other two pointed out, he hadn’t agreed to anything. However, it did seem strange that to gain weight, he hadn’t to eat anything for the next 24 hours. But he had read that one way to gain was to starve yourself to slow the body’s metabolism and then eat again. So maybe that’s what it was about.

Simon turned up promptly at 3.00 p.m. the next day and was shown into Dr Duff’s office in the portakabin. He was asked various questions about his health. He was particularly pressed about whether he wanted a general weight gain or to grow a gut and stay fairly lean.

In the end, Simon got so exasperated by the doctor’s insistence on the point, that he told the doctor he wanted the pregnant look. This seemed to assure the doctor and he moved on to other questions. He did various tests and said it all looked great. If Simon wanted to continue with the treatment, he couldn’t be a better candidate for this experiment.

Simon couldn’t believe that he was hearing himself enthusiastically agreeing to it with hardly any thought to it. What was more, he had no idea what it entailed. But suddenly he wanted a gut so much that he would go through any treatment to get one.

Dr Duff then said that before the treatment began he would have to give Simon a thorough enema. After that he told Simon that he was ready for the first stage of the treatment. He handed him a condom and suggested that Simon put it on to stop any mess. He explained that he was going to place a hormone pellet on the front of Simon’s bowel that over a month or so this would create a new discrete cavity attached to his bowel.

It would then be imperative for Simon not to move for 12 hours. Once the cavity had begun to form Simon could carry on a normal life but it was imperative to start it in the right place. After all, Simon didn’t want a beer belly on his back did he?

So Simon’s arms and legs were tied to the four corners of the bed in the room next to Dr. Duff’s office and another strap around his middle tying him firmly so that he couldn’t move.

As the doctor had predicted, Simon began to get hard. The doctor then placed a tube up Simon’s arse and, as predicted, Simon came. The doctor relieved him of the condom and quickly put it in his office before using the tube to place the pellet carefully on the front of his bowel.

Then the doctor left. In the long hours of the night, in which Simon slept fitfully, he realised that he hadn’t thought through any of this. Somehow it had just happened to him. He wondered if what was happening to him could be undone.

What if he got a gut and he didn’t like it. Could what was happening to him be reversed? He was relieved when next morning the doctor explained that all he was doing was creating a cavity in which to put an implant.

It would take several weeks for the cavity to develop sufficiently and then when the implant was put in, it would take at least three months before it would begin to develop to any extent.

Dr Duff released Simon from the bed at 10.00 a.m. on Sunday morning. First, he told him to turn over so that he could do a scan to see if the cavity was forming properly and in the right place. He smeared silicon jelly on Simon’s belly and with an ultrasound probe scanned his belly.

The doctor was pleased with what he saw and assured Simon that he was exactly the right kind of person for this treatment and it was beginning well. He commented further that the developing cavity may cause him to be more hungry than usual but not to worry. Simon was just to satisfy his hunger but not to over eat and to return in a month for a check up.

By the following Friday, when he met up with Mark and Paul again, he had worked himself up into a right state. This had all just happened to him. He wasn’t going submit to this treatment that had never been tried before.

He exercised this argument to Paul and Mark along with all that had happened to him the previous weekend.

The other two took the opposite view. Here was Simon’s opportunity to get a gut - to fulfil his dream and all for nothing as the doctor had explained the entire treatment was free because it was experimental.

Simon couldn’t help noticing that evening how, in provocation, Paul and Mark were in showing their bellies at their best. They were both wearing tight T shirts and jeans so that their guts protruded more and hung over the waistbands. They sat at their usual table, but in such a way as to ensure that their bellies stuck out more. By the time they went home, Simon knew he wanted a belly more than anything else in the world and would do anything to get one. He would certainly go along with this treatment, but was doubtful if it would work. Nothing else had so far. What would be the difference between feeding an implant and feeding his gut direct? Only time would tell he supposed.

He turned up at the portakabin for his monthly check-up as requested. He wasn’t sure if he was imagining it or not, but his abdomen seemed slightly less flat than it was. Were his pants a little tighter? Presumably the cavity was taking up some space inside.

Again, jelly was rubbed on his stomach and the doctor was very pleased with what he saw on the scan. He informed Simon that he was willing to prepare the implant if he wanted to go ahead. Simon had no hesitation that he did. Mark and Paul had convinced him of this over the past few weeks.

The doctor looked at the calendar and said the implant would be ready for Saturday 9th December. Again, Simon would have to fast for the day before and stay perfectly still overnight, while the implant settled.

After that Simon’s life would not be affected except that the doctor said it would be wise to keep off alcohol as he was not sure how the implant would react to it. ‘Get a beer belly without any beer - that’s different’ Simon thought. ‘Christmas is going to be different this year without the booze’ The days dragged by slowly over the next few weeks.

Simon couldn’t wait to get started on this programme even though he knew it would be well after Christmas before any results started to show. He believed this was going to work for him.

The three lads met on Thursday 7th December, so that Simon could fast all the next day, for a celebration of Simon’s promised new gut. Mark and Paul had both made sure that their bellies looked as sexy as ever for this occasion, just in case Simon should be thinking of backing out at the last minute. They needn’t have worried - he was more keen than ever.