A late blooming flower - Revisited

A Late blooming flower – Revisited
I first submitted this story to WMM two years ago but decided it was a bit messy and had left out a few bits that I felt were important to the story other that were not relevant really and I have provided an update to where things stand today.
The original version can still be found in the WMM archive
This is my story; it is l true and I hope telling it helps others to walk down the feminisation path. I have here put down in words some of my feelings and experiences. And how I came to make the decisions I did.
Now I look back on it there has always been something of the sissy about me, right from when I was a young boy. Though I did not finally accept the full knowledge of my situation until I was in my late 40’s
As a boy of four to five years old I owned a doll! Not the GI Joe or Action man type but a girly doll I loved playing with I had an indoor swing set up in the kitchen and the doll even had its own next to mine. I had the usual boy’s toys too. Oh yes I had an Action man too and I liked to play with my cars for most of the day and the large train set just like any boy, though I think my father got more pleasure out it. My mum told me later in life that, at that age the doll was my favourite toy. And at that time I would rather play with the girl next door then boys, though I did have a small knot of boys I was happy to play with.
At Primary school I wanted to play with the doll’s house and play shop rather than do boy things most of the time. These activities just seemed so much more fun. After leaving Primary School and moving on two schools I met a girl who became my ‘girlfriend’ up until I was 18 well I say girlfriend it was nothing more than a title as to this day I have never really dated a girl. But I remember one time playing with her Doctors and nurses (The innocent version) and she had a nurse’s uniform I wanted to wear it, I don’t know it just seemed right but she would not let me. I went off in a huff about that I seem to recall.
Though most of the time I lived out my time as a normal pre-teen boy quite happily with no more thoughts of girl things.
It was when I were when I was 13 that the next thing to happen to me that would influence the way I feel now took place.
I am English and was lucky enough to win a scholarship to a private school that my parents otherwise could not have afforded to send me when I was 11. We have moved on 2 years from that point though and I have become a monitor (junior prefect) and was taking advantage of the extra half hour I was allowed to stay up in the prefect’s room.
Whilst in the prefect’s room I was tied to a chair and made to give a prefect a blow job, I was Scared and did as I was told. Looking back I soon gained a reputation and several boys would regularly come up to me and ask me to suck them off too.
The reason I am telling you this stuff is seed was planted then and that was that I liked to give blow jobs. Funny during what I did over the next 4 years I never considered myself Gay to me you were only Gay if you were penetrated.
On another occasion a quiet Sunday afternoon a boy named Robert invited me back to his room and while we talked he said he wanted to false F**k me I was shocked and said I don’t t do that I am not queer I do not take it , he said no not there I want to do you like a girl, needless to say I was puzzled after all I was a boy. But what he did was bush my balls and penis up inside me with his finger then quickly placed his penis where they had been he then got me to close my legs tight then he thrust against me until he came. I enjoyed that and being screwed like a girl would be a common dream I would have over the years and still do.
During the rest of my time at the School I gave quite a few boys blow jobs and eventually when I was 17 succumbed to being penetrated though still didn’t consider I was gay. Apart from this I lived my life like any other boy, drinking smoking (at a very low level and gave up soon after leaving school) not wearing jewellery as too girly (though this was to change quickly on leaving school)
Around this time and possibly triggered from the above while I was at home on one of the various holidays from school , I was 15 I seem to recall, Mum was out and I decided to rummage in my mums bedroom draws just out of curiosity as woman’s stuff seemed very strange but somehow alluring. Even to this day I am not sure why I chose to do that but I did. When I found here Lingerie draw I got all excited and I tried on a pair of Panties and a bra not at the same time but one after the other doing this got me very excited I replaced them in the drawer and went and relieved the tension. On other occasions I tried on some of my sisters clothes but as she was younger than me they were too small. But every time I did I got a thrill.
Typical of me though I again never followed through on things due to my stubborn belief that I was neither gay nor a transvestite (At that time I had never even encountered the term Transvestite so that thought would never have crossed my mind) but the seed was starting to germinate, but a desire to keep my mum who I love dearly happy mint I would never attempt anything I thought she would disapprove of, .– I found out later in life some of the things I wanted to do but never did or did in secret my mother would have supported by decision to do, and in some cases would have even helped me c’est le vie
Again I reverted back to type with the occasional blow job along the way until I was 22. except I would regularly look in catalogues and the adverts in the Sunday papers and dream of the day I left home and could order a denim skirt or a bra from them I also loved looking at the woman’s clothes in the windows of the big department stores. (As I got older I would actually look at the rails inside and if approached say I was looking for present ideas (ooh you liar) but could not at this time bring myself to buy anything.
A whole new world opened up to me then.
I went clubbing for the first time, left home and came out as and so I was set fair
After a bit of a false start (getting barred from two Gay bars because they thought I was a Rent boy or that I too vulnerable, whereas the truth was that I was just bloody naïve and out for some fun. I started to have regular sex.
The Fem seed grew a bit more. One day while was in London I bought a see through Indian woman’s top with coloured spangles in it and would regularly wear it to London clubbing along with some American native beads and bangles. But not around my home town for fear of ridicule or someone attacking me (this is still a big fear and a reason I am still reluctant to go out in a dress or skirt) as I live in a vary working class city that has vary set ideas on what a man should look like. and how they should act.
Funny looking back on this I never considered myself a cross dresser TV or anything else. I liked the top so bought it. I can be impulsive like that. I also had some Pink trousers and Red Leather Jeans.
One night in a Gay bar where I was working when I was 25. I was talking to a customer and proffered that I that I thought I was quite straight acting when I was put firmly in my place a Lesbian sat behind me chirped up and said ‘you might have a large body but you are actually very effeminate
There was a shift in my mind-set taking place though as I now consciously started to look at woman’s clothes admiringly then at my own rather plump body and would groan. You see I really desperately would have loved to have been able to wear the tight denim or leather miniskirts or some of the other clothes, ‘they were not for me’ my mind would say, You don’t want to look like Divine or some cheap Drag Queen do you. So as usual I would just carry on with my life. May I say it has not been too bad a life some ups and some downs.
I feel like this about clothes and make up to a decreasing degree as my new found confidence builds up and have been regularly buying the odd purse or some jewellery or even the occasional top but this is jumping ahead a bit
Now back to being Gay I had a succession of boyfriends during my 20’s and 30’s but sex for me seems a bit weird and still does.as I would rather be done as a girl rather than a guy. And doing it man on man seems a bit mechanical, My mind wants me to be penetrated but not as a man penetrating a man but as a man penetrating me as a woman so then the thought of doing it man on man just becomes another chore to deal with.
I am definitely not straight the thought of having sex with a woman abhors me totally in the same way a straight guy would look at gay sex.
The net result these days is I turn down virtually all sexual advances and stick to pleasuring myself but that is another problem lol I enjoy it don’t get me wrong but I don’t want to, well not with male bits anyway. There’s not much there so losing what is would be no great loss in my mind. And I have often fantasied and dreamt that it would happen but as things stand I do not envisage myself seeking SRS AS I still don’t think have the build or look to make it work  let alone the money. But with the speed things have happened to me in the last 3 years who knows.
Right this brings us up to date
Back in about July 2007 I was bored and found a site on Hypnotism so thought I would take a look as I a deep curiosity for this type of thing , It was mainly dedicated to ABDL My usual enquiring mind led me to look further and even downloaded some files I was Sceptical that this stuff would work but hey ho in for a penny in for a pound. And even if it did wearing a diaper might be a bit of fun
Well I got a surprise the inductions started to take effect after about a fortnight of listening and I felt the desire to buy diapers and would occasionally let go in them but to be honest I wasn’t really that interested in ABDL. I saw on their links page a link to another site (This one) and took a look
I looked at some of the ABDL files but thought they were a bit Then I moved on to the bondage submissive files downloaded a few of them and had a bit of fun, some worked some didn’t. Then I found the feminisation files Oh dear! What had I found? Now I was like a kid in a sweetshop.
First of all I tried the female orgasm file for men. Christ what a file and yes it worked wonders for me I was hooked. So I signed up for their premium files and that’s when things really started to happen.
I have listened to quite a few. Some the subject matter I thought was to implausible for my mind to accept but they were fun to listen to they were mainly curse files (Submissive seed raises its head).
As I listen more and more (please note I am now using the present tense) subtle changes have taken place, maybe not as each file has directed it would, but my mind has taken on bits of each. I now listen to files daily and generally listen to them before I go to sleep
At first it started with buying and woman’s jeans rather than men’s, then a desire to lose weight (As I listen larger sections of files are beginning to take hold.
I suddenly got an urge to buy female tops bras and panties then make up. My head is now spinning what is going on here this defies all my previous barriers. Next I have had the desire to buy woman’s shoes.
A few Dresses came next. Then one day a bizarre thought entered my head I had to ditch all my male underwear except a few items for visiting or Doctors’ visits otherwise it is girly panties now full time
Then there came the desire to be rid of my male T Shirts again apart from a few that were brand new and wear only female ones and other feminine tops.
Finally on to the Hormones.
To think despite my past flirting with fem things Hormones never ever came on the radar but here I am just over two years into taking them. As I look I have gained a 42B breast, my body hair has all but disappeared and my skin is a lot smoother though I still have to shave my face which is a pain. I have invested in a home laser epilator but things are a bit slow on that front.
I only wear male clothes for work (Uniform) and for family visits. I generally wear jeans panties girls T shirts and boots but when not out in public I will wear smock tops and sometimes my dress or skirts as well. When going out at night I will wear a bit of eye makeup and sometimes ear-rings too. My hair is a lot longer and has a natural cut.
Here we are dear Reader As I write I am hooked on hypno Fulmination files and generally I wear only female clothes out of work.
I could do with a friend to help me boost my confidence help me with doing make up choosing the right clothes and accessories etc. also to be with me and encourage me to go out when dressed fully en femme to give encouragement and support whilst out and about
As well as this I need to grow my hair longer as I look awful in a wig.
Compared to how I was a year or so ago my life has moved on irreversibly down the path of feminization