my journey to 24/7 diaper wearing

This is my autobiography as it pertains to diapers. Only recently, after much mental turmoil, have I given in to both my need AND my love for diapers. It's taken me about 40 years to get here, but I think Ive evolved in such a way that I'm as comfortable in diapers in as many different situations as I'll ever be.
The genesis of my history with diapers, to the best of my recollection, goes all the way back to when I was 4 or 5. I vaguely remember having had frequent night time accidents and being made to wear diapers at night for several months until I was able to show consistent control at night. Mostly I remember how safe and comfortable they felt. I don't recall any arousal at that time or even whether my mother or father put the diapers on me, or whether they were disposable or cloth. (sorry about my limited memory)
I do remember how embarrassing it was being put back into diapers while my little brother was being weaned off of them. However my parents were always very loving about my bladder control difficulties. Eventually I regained acceptable control at night and the diapers were no longer needed. However, the accidents at night never quite stopped- they just became more infrequent, perhaps once or twice a month. To avoid the embarrassment of having to wear diapers at night again, I recall hiding wet sheets as early as around the age of 6. (trying to figure out the washer and dryer by myself wasn't easy either) Sometime around the age of 7 or 8 I became aware that my accidents were usually preceded by a dream that I had gotten up to go to the bathroom, a dream I sometimes still have to this day.
When I got to high school, my parents began to have marital problems. I believe the associated stress exacerbated my night time incontinence problem, because future elevated stress levels throughout my life have continued to have the same affect. I began wetting the bed again several times a week. It became harder and harder to keep it a secret. Plastic sheets were out of the question-they're a dead giveaway. And I could only do so much laundry without arousing suspicion. So I tried setting my alarm clock for 3am so i could wake up and use the bathroom. However, as luck would have it, this plan went awry very quickly. Only a week into this routine I had an accident sometime between 3am and the following morning. When my mother woke me up for school, she discovered my wet bed. Perhaps because of their marital problems or because of my age, she became very angry, and began yelling uncontrollably. So now everyone in my family, and, as I found out later, at least one of my neighbors became aware that i wet the bed. First she took me to a medical doctor who, after a battery of tests, found nothing wrong with me physically. Next, she took me to see a psychologist, who suggested to her that she diaper me at night, perhaps hoping to shame me into continence. So she insisted that I wear diapers to bed, and to ensure I wore them correctly, from that night on she diapered me before bed every night. Except that now she wasn't at all loving, she was harsh and punitive, even allowing my brother and sister to watch occasionally. For the first week, she would put me into diapers and plastic panties an hour or so before bedtime and make me wear nothing else until morning. Thankfully I was mortified WHILE she was diapering me, because immediately afterward I would be overwhelmed with an indescribable mix of security, shame, safety and comfort, but most of all, confusing soaring sexual sensations I had never experienced before. As embarrassed as I was, nothing had ever felt so right. When I woke up the next morning in a wet diaper, I was so aroused that I didn't want to take the diaper off. So I rolled around in bed with it on for awhile, until I discovered that if I manipulated the diaper against my penis just the right way, it felt exceedingly pleasurable. This is how I had my first orgasm, although I didn't know what had happened at the time. Unfortunately, as has always been the case, I felt embarrassment and shame immediately afterward and took the diaper off to try to shower away my disgust.
My mother continued to diaper me throughout high school. She even continued to hire babysitters for my sister, brother and I even though I was old enough to do it myself. I guess I was too much of a troublemaker to be trusted, but it really embarrassed me to no end to have to be diapered by babysitters who were often only a couple of years older than I. Eventually I did get used to being diapered and soon came to rely on them. Admittedly, not having to do all that extra laundry was nice, and so was waking up in a dry bed and wet diaper.
Soon after high school my parents divorced, and I went to live with my dad. He was far less strict and soon my constant bed wetting subsided to once or twice a month again. By this time, though, I was hooked on the diapers. wearing them at night about 70% of the time. Around the age of 20, my father began trying to convince me to go to college, offering to pay for it. I accepted his generous offer and applied to the local community college. But that wasn't what he had in mind. He wanted me to go to a university. I liked the idea, except I knew it would mean I would have to live in a dorm room with a roommate. This posed a new and scary dilemma-how do I conceal my incontinence from a roommate?! To compound matters more, when I got there, the stress of classes and my new cramped living situation caused my control problems to revert back to wetting my bed almost nightly again. Luckily, my roommate was in the ROTC, so he was early to bed and early to rise, so it was more than a month before he found out and was very understanding when he did.
It was while I was in college that I met Stephanie. As I was pursuing her gorgeous roommate, it gradually became apparent that she was the one who I REALLY enjoyed being with. One Saturday, while her roommate had gone home for the weekend, we decided to hang out and have a few drinks. Towards the end of the evening, she started feeling a little woozy, and asked me to spend the night in case she got sick. I reluctantly agreed, wondering if I could make it through the night dry after drinking so much. But she was so sweet and vulnerable, I couldn't imagine leaving her there alone. So I formulated a plan to wait until she passed out, then return to my room to put on a diaper, just in case, and then return to her room. Instead, I passed out, and woke up the next morning more embarrassed then I'd ever been before! I had flooded the both of us as well as her bed! I thought for sure this would be the end of our friendship. I was so surprised and relieved to to hear her reaction which was "you must have had more to drink than you thought, HUH?!" Thank God, I thought. SHE just might be THE ONE! She was, as it turned out. She accepted my bed wetting as long as I wore diapers whenever she would sleep with me.
As our relationship evolved into a romance and eventually marriage, our sexual relationship evolved as well. Slowly I became more and more submissive to her in the bedroom. She seemed to enjoy being in control, and gradually began exerting that control in subtle ways in everyday life as well. Now She has total control over me, even though most casual observers would never know it. All She has to do is give me that certain look and i KNOW i must obey Her or pay the consequences later. i must admit that sometimes i ignore the look just because the consequences can be so satisfying! ;) But that satisfaction never comes without a pretty severe price. She often makes me clean the whole house wearing nothing but a diaper, or She may keep me bound uncomfortably in a diaper all day. Once She put me in only a diaper and a bondage collar and chained me up in the backyard between the two posts holding up the clothes line. None of the neighbors could see me because of the privacy fence, but as luck would have it, that was the day the lawn company came to fertilize the grass. Instead of seeing me in the backyard and leaving, the specialist just came in and applied the fertilizer anyway, making me move out of his way when he got to where i was! Stephanie laughed so hard when i told Her what had happened, saying, "well maybe next time you won't ignore the look!" She was right, as usual, and i secretly vowed to myself that i would NEVER AGAIN ignore the look during any weather warm enough to be chained up outside!
Over time, as She gradually grew more dominant and i grew more submissive, She started to see the diapers as a symbol of her dominance, and began using them during the day as a form of punishment. i found myself wearing diapers during the day with increasing frequency, until eventually i was wearing diapers almost 100% of the time. At first She would allow me to use the bathroom while i was wearing diapers during the day, but She slowly began making me use the diapers to wet in all the time. i believe this began to have an affect on my daytime control too. i'm not sure how or when i lost control. i didn't even realize i'd lost daytime control for some time because i just got so used to going in my diaper that i stopped ever trying to hold it. After being diapered night and day for a little over a year, we went up north to visit Her Aunt Lucy. It was during this trip i discovered i'd lost my continence during the day. We took plenty of diapers for the weekend, but on Saturday, Her aunt asked us if we'd like to stay for a few more days. We quickly accepted, as we were really enjoying the cool breezes coming off the lake during that particularly hot stretch of summer. However, we didn't immediately realize that we hadn't packed enough diapers for the extended stay. The next evening when it was time for a diaper change, She realized that i was wearing the last diaper, and it was soaked. Improvising, She put me into several pairs of Her used panties from the weekend and put my plastic panties on over them just in case, and we headed off to the local pharmacy. Being from the city, we didn't realize that in a town that small, there would be no pharmacies open at this hour on a Sunday. The nearest city with an all night Meijer was well over an hour away. During the drive there, i began to feel the urge to pee. i told Her i was going to have to go potty pretty soon, but She said i would have to hold it and that we were almost there. About ten minutes later we hit a pothole in the road causing my bladder to let go. Her panties weren't very absorbent and i soaked Her panties, my pants and Her car seat. She was so upset that She made me go into the store with Her to buy the diapers, soaked pants and all! Then She put all of my clothes into a garbage bag she bought at the store and made me go back into Her aunts cottage wearing nothing but a diaper! Her aunt's reaction was "How cute is this!" So She made me wear diapers and nothing else for the remainder of our stay. Her aunt even changed me once. By this time in our marriage, i was used to being embarrassed occasionally, so it was only uncomfortable for a short time. In fact, by the end of the weekend, i was thoroughly enjoying it! Now we visit her annually and i relish being able to spend the whole weekend in nothing but diapers, outside in the open air without the risk of strangers seeing me!
In conclusion, i must say that, in spite of an incontinence problem that could have potentially made my life very miserable and lonely, i have found peace and contentment in my diapers. i feel loved and needed by my wonderful Wife, who controls me in the sweetest, most loving way. i can only hope that all diaper lovers will be as blessed as me!