Beconing Stefeni

As I lie here on the bed I Knew I had done the right thing despite the pain the operation had been 2 weeks ago and the surgeon in charge had just visited and told me all was well and I should be able to go home at the end of the week, but first I would be shown how to tend to my my sore nether region I had done it I was free I was the woman I really wanted to be I picked up the vanity mirror from the bedside cabinet lowered it down so I could take a look all the dressings had been removed as had the catheter all looked red and still sore but there it was a perfectly formed virgina I desperately wanted to play with it explore it but I knew it would be too sore still I placed my hand down as close as I dare my cherry red shaped nails brushing a flap I got a surge of pain but pleasure too, the nerve ending looked like they would work and I would have full sensation I couldn’t wait to use it but sadly that will have to wait a few months
Oh I had better introduce myself my name is Stefeni and I am a Transsexual though I now think of myself as a proper woman and this is how I got here
I was born a boy named Stefan I was to grow to 5ft 4 inches tall with ginger hair Mom has told me I was always effeminate and her party piece was always to dig out those pictures she had of me dressed in mu twin sisters clothes to cries of ooh how cute how sweet, this seemed to sour mum on.
As I grew as a toddler she let my hair grow and styled it similar to my sister and dressed us the same I don’t recall ever wearing boys clothes other than for church or high days. Back then and mum would call us Julia and Stef. it all seemed very normal to me, I even tended to play with her toys more than specially selected boys ones mom would let me have She was anti anything to do with war or violence so they were banned from the house, to me my sisters had always seemed more interesting anyway, I loved her dolls house and her pretend make up we would do tea parties for her dolls and my soft toys these were simple and happy times. My favourite toy at this time was a doll which I liked dressing up . Mom would even sew up clothes for her and I would watch her at the machine fascinated by it …..’Also we had a toddler swing between the kitchen and the main room for us kids and mum had made one for me to put my doll in ?
Then that day came I had to start school my hair was trimmed back to a more acceptable length I wore a white shirt short trousers I looked like any other boy at school, but never really felt comfortable in them, they were so restricting
.Kindergarten passed quite normally and I was considered to be a quick learner though easily lead and cohersed said my report card (my saving or falling later in life you decide)
Through primary school I lived the life of a normal boy played rough and tumble games with the rest of the boys but somehow something didn’t feel right I would look at what the girls were doing and would rather be there with them. Making friends was easy for me with both boys and girls
When I was 9 I took the tests that would decide what high school you would take I achieved very high grades and it was felt that my parents should look to get me into a school for my abilities
My parents decided my abilities would be best served by going to a Boarding school which is what happened. While there I learnt not only the prescribes education but also another sort one that was a lot more darker, here I discovered my sexuality and used it at every occasion
I discovered early on in puberty I liked sucking cock don’t ask me how this happens I just know I took to it like a duck to water
About this time too I discovered the world of Pornography I would look at the glossy pages and they would have a weird effect on me I did not look at them the way other lads did whereas the other boys looked at the girls to drool over boobs and pussies and then to discuss what they would do to the model given the chance I would look at them and wish I was the girl getting the ‘wood’ The idea of me screwing a woman was an anathema to me it would make me sick to the stomach to even consider doing it to either a woman or a man but the idea of me having boobs and a pussy and a guy doing me became part of my night time fantasies and me sucking their rock hard members down to the hilt was sure to excite my body into a sexual reaction even at that age Mentally this would screw my mind I would think why do I think this way what is up with me but I had nowhere to turn or anyone to ask I felt dirty and alone but the feelings would not albeit so I would keep them to myself and try to supress them further
By my late teens I was fully active on the Gay scene I had a handle to put on sexuality and was comfortable with that. But the fantasies of my early Teenswere still there and I had nothing to hang those on
Men would swear at me call me a fag and a sissy one or two even used me saying I was just like a woman
; Just like a woman’ that thought though meant with vitriol stuck in my brain, I liked the idea of being a woman Yes that’s how I felt inside I am a woman
Christ lights bells buzzers went off in my head I had hit the jackpot that’s it I was released I knew my destiny now I had to do something about it, but where do I start How do I tell mom, what will her reaction be.
My first decision was to allow my hair to grow that would be easy getting it properly styled would be something else to worry about at a later date Next how the hell do I get woman’s clothes, First up I thought of sneaking something out of my mums closet but the thought that she would go up the wall stopped that, I decided the dirty laundry basket would be a better option and that is where I started
Having made that decision I had to wait a further fortnight before I got my opportunity but then Mom had to go out for the day and gave me instructions to make sure I got the laundery washed and ironed befor her return As I did not have a job and was waiting to go to college this was her way of making me useful along with some cleaning duties around the house, these would usually get a groan out of me but to tell the truth once I got going I quite enjoyed these chores in fact ding them came naturally …but back to the matter in hand I rummaged through the clothes found a matching bra and panty set took them to my room tried them on I placed socks in the cups to fill them out I then put on one of her blouses and a skirt next I went into her room and found her make up put on some lipstick and mascara, at that time did not understand foundation and all the other elements and went about doing the cleaning dressed like this then I went to my room and relieved my sexual excitement.
Come the time to do the Laundry second load I had to change and I felt flat. As the clothes I had just been wearing spun on the wash cycle I resolved to get some of my own but how and where I was not yet ready to shop
Over the next few weeks I started attending the local gay bar where I befriended Lysarah who was the local Drag Queen she offered to show me how to do my makeup which she did and gave me lots of advice and support but still I could not make the leap beyond trying on the laundry (apart from a couple of raids on the bins that hold clothes for the needy from these forays I had gained an ill-fitting dress and a well-used mini skirt with a dodgy zip plus two low cut tops).
One day Lysarah said to me I might have an Idea that should help I asked whay
Hypnotism she replied
I laughed she said ‘not the stage type but the proper stuff
Do you think it will work?
It will if you believe it will that is the key
She said we can give it aa go tonight if you want stay back after my show and you can come home with me and we will see, I was excited, I was concerned, what if she uses me without me knowing
The nights show soon finished Lysarah removed her makeup and woman’s clothes and became his male persona Paul
Paul ordered the taxi and we headed off to his apartment, it was nicely decorated he was the perfect host we had a chat and a coffee he explained that tonight he would just do something basic to see if I am susceptible to going into a trance he led me to his room told me to undress and lie on the bed, he promised there would be no hanky panky though I would not have minded
He placed some headphones on my head turned on the MP3 player switched off the lights and climbed in bed next to me
I was aware of his warm body but laid there listening to the voice telling me to relax
The voice kept repeating this and I felt myself dropping into trance
I awoke next day feeling more refreshed then I had ever done
I asked Paul did the hypnotism work, he replied like a dream I think we will definitely be able to sort you out
Over the coming weeks Paul lent me his MP3 player with a preprogramed playlist on it when I asked what was on it he would not tell
Unbeknown to me at the time it had contained to body files one for total obedience to Paul and another to desire to be feminine and to go buy feminine clothes and make up as a result I felt more confident and took me shopping we bought make up and I had my ears pierced Later he took me clothes shopping suggesting sizes and styles, my confidence was high I even started wearing some of the unisex clothes day to day
One night I had just got in from sorting out college when Mom confronted me
Hey hon can we have a chat
Sure mom what’s on your mind?
You actually! I have noticed that you have changed your look recently and I want to ask you about it.
I went red I could feel the heat, what did she know or what did she think, should I tell or should I try to wing it my head was spinning
I bit the bullet, what do you want to know
Are you trying to be a girl that was it as simple as that blunt and direct
UH was all I could reply at firt she repeated herself.
A long pause
Then I decided to go for it, err well yes I spluttered out
She came over and hugged me, that caught me off my guard and I felt the blush well up again.
I thought you would be mad I told her
Oh no your father and I have always felt you should have been a girl, there was just something about you I can’t say your father will be too enthusiastic about the news though so I wouldn’t say anything to him until I have had a chance to talk to him first
So what now I asked her.
Well you won’t need to hide anything from me in fact I might be able to give you tips. Who has been helping you get this far I don’t reckon you would have got this far without help
Paul you know the Drag Queen Lysarah he has helped me do everything.
Mum hugged me again and said well now there are two supporting you
Then she came out with it, do you wish to have a sex change
Well this had not ever crossed my mind I had heard by now of transsexuals and Lady boys. But had never associated them with how I felt
All I could say at first was Huh
Well you are going to have to decide she said do you just want to dress as a woman or do you inside feel you are a woman trapped in your body
Well I stood there for how long I could not say. I told mum I had to sit so we did
Mum rescued the situation seeing how shocked I looked
You don’t have to decide here or now but you have to sort it out in your head Remember you go to college in 2 months are you going as a boy or a girl.
There you go mom being practical again this had not even crossed my mind
I went to my room looked in the mirror, my makeup was a mess I got a baby wipe and cleaned it up
The thoughts were spinning through my mind what am I what do I want to be I knew I liked being a woman liked the idea of having sex as a woman but did I really want to become one I needed help and this was help that neither Paul or Mom could give but mum was right I had to have it sorted by time I went to college or I would be a wreck
I turned on the computer and interrogated the net much to my surprise there were hundreds of thousands of entries out there
One of the first things I found was a site Warp my mind’ it had lots of hypno files to buy and there were loads on feminisation and there was a forum too, this looked like a good place to start but I had to join first, so I paid for a month to try it out
I downloaded a few files that told me I wanted to be a woman called female whammy and on the forum I found a link to something called the COGIANI teat I set there and took it tro my surprise I scored 335
That night rest would not come easily I had decisions to make but which was the right one I decided to use hypnotism to see if that would help focus my mind like it had when paul had used it on me
I copied the female whammy file and a couple of others including estrogen cocktail to the MP3 put the headphones on and tried to settle down much to my surprise I was under before I knew it
These files and a few others really helped Stefani rather than Stefan decided to go to college so with the help of Paul Mom and WWM they had me walking talking dressing and thinking like a woman I was happy studies were going well I met other T girls who told me how to get hold of hormones without going through official lines
Paul kept in touch and we started dating he approved of me taking the hormones but never pushed me into anything
It is your decision and yours alone to make I will support you whichever way you chose
I was increasingly becoming sure of where I wanted to be I discussed it with Paul and decided to go discuss it with my Doctor She was patient and told me that my decision to go for SRS was a long road with many pitfall but if it was what I wanted she would set up a meeting with a couple of specialists these would decide if I was mentally and physically up to it.
By time I had started the second year of college I had passed all the requirements to undergo treatment I was now being prescribed the hormones and had to undergo regular testing to make sure I was remaining healthy. I also dressed as a woman permanently my breasts were starting to form nicely too they were getting great attention from the boys. Even the psychiatrist was happy with my progress
On graduating from College I looked for work as a woman and found no difficulty I never knew how many lecherous men there were out there I could only take short term agency secretarial positions as the call to hospital could come any time
Paul and I had moved in together and we decided we would Wed in a Civil ceremony after the surgery
Two weeks or so ago a space became available I was to become complete