Life inside out

I am a cross dresser from the childhood and my name is rani. Before going to that I would like to discuss about how I become a crossdresser. I was born in a family and I had dad, mom and one younger brother. My ears were pierced when I am young and I love to keep them. One day my mom had taken my ear rings on that day I cried a lot and my parents could not understand why I am crying. As I love to keep ear rings always I used to play with them by touching them. On that day my mom noticed that I am crying because I don’t have ear rings and my mom immediately kept them on my ears and I stopped crying and my mom feel very strange and told me that you are not suppose to do like this. As, we knew at the small age my mom said no and usually I do against that because of my age and this has become slowly regular habit. Some of us relatives also comment me that I more look like my mom. With this habit I slowly came to teen ages and I used to remove my ear rings and keep my mom’s studs and wear bangles of my mom privately. I am slowly learning the household chores from my mom and I never used to play with my brother and he also teases me even though I am older to him. In the school also I had more no of girl friends rather than boys. I used to chat with the girls and boys like a girly manner and for which the boys used to tease me and girls fell sorry for me as I am innocent. One of the girl in our class pierced her nose, and I asked about what was that she told me that this is a nose ring and this will be worn as a tradition in some Indian communities and this was the first time that I am chatting with a girl with nose pierced. None of my family members has nose pierced. On that day, you know that there is a small ring for a Jupiter pen I had taken that and kept it on my left nostril and then right nostril I was so excited wearing that. This is how I was attracted to nose ring. My mom wears only sarees and nighties and I don’t have any sisters to try other dresses. One day I went for bath after my mom came from the bath I found her used nightie on the hanger and I immediately wore it, at this age I don’t have mustache or beard and already I am wearing ear rings I have seen in the mirror that I am more like of girl rather than boy. This continued for several months and during this period I wore my mom’s saree with blouse and petticoat. At the age of 15 I learned all house hold works including cooking and perfect in wearing saree. With all these things I used to cross dress when I am alone at home and one day my mom had seen me in her saree and I kept all stuff including her bra and panty which wear loose some how I managed. She asked me too come near by her and I went with my head lowered and she had beaten me and shouted what are you doing and I told every thing that I wanna to be like a girl that’s why I wore this. My mom told u remain until ur father comes to home like this I reqested plz no. She didn’t listen any thing and late in the night my father came to my room and asked me whats wrong with you and I told him the story. I was so tied that I have been crying frm the evening immediately I slept in the saree itself and my mom changed my dress while I was sleeping. Next few days I never wore any dresses and my father had taken me to the Doctor. The Dr asked me several questions that if I had any girl friends like sort of those questions and I answered his questions. Later my father also discussed with the Doctor and the doctor had clearly said that he was more attracted to the female garments and jewellery and sexually he was alright. To be contined….. I this blog some of the things happened to me.