I'm home sick with a cold today, so I might as well write something about myself. Since I was a teenager, the main theme of my sexual fantasies has been where I undergo some sort of transformation, usually into a stronger, more aggressive sort of form. When I was young, I'd want to be transformed into a monster, or a werewolf or something. Mainly, I wanted big muscles, strength, and (as I grew up) sexual prowess. Additionally, I've always fantasized about having my mind changed as well. In the monster scenarios, I'd imagine being corrupted into a demon, interested in satisfying my own needs and no one else's. As a young adult, my tastes evolved into "muscle growth" fantasy which I indulged by reading and writing erotic fiction. The typical story in that genre involves a guy who is transformed into a muscleman/body-builder type. In my favourite stories, the "victim" would often lose his intelligence and identity as he transformed into a muscle-obsessed sex machine, a slave to his cock. My muscle growth kink remains with me today, but it comes in a bunch of flavours. For a while, I was obsessed with muscle bears - cigar and pipe smokers, broad-chested and barrel-bellied, for example. But for the last few years it's been the "jock" archetype that gets my motor going. About a year and a half ago, I think, is when I discovered the WMM group and site and started listening to the jock files. I don't trance easily, or, if I do, I haven't learned how to trance deeply yet, so when I started listening it was more in the vein of playful fantasy. I'm reasonably confident that I haven't been hypnotised by those files, mainly because I haven't really gotten any stupider. That I can tell, anyway. But what I have done is to make changes in my life to help turn me into a jock the "natural" way. It's kind of been the lesson of my 20s, that the choices I make help to make me who I am. If I was so fed up with being fat, then it was up to me to start exercising and eating right. If I wanted to be a jock and play on a sports team, then all I had to do was find a freakin' sports team and join! Last September, after seeing only a few games on TV and never having been involved with team sports at any level in my life, I joined a new gay rubgy team in my area and it has been the best thing I've ever done. I recently got a new job lifting boxes in a warehouse, so between that and the rugby practice I've never been in better shape in my life. I'm managing to balance this active lifestyle with my desire to one day be a published novelist, and I feel like my life has never been more complete. I'm not quite a stereotypical jock, but I'm practically turning into a "Renaissance Man". Thing is, there's still that part of me that, no matter how balanced my life is, yearns for the "freedom" of being a muscle slave, or a dumb, cocky jock. There are times when I'd shed what I have now for the carefree lifestyle of a mindless sex-machine muscle stud that I've dreamt about for years. So I guess that's why I'm here.