Yesterday I decided that I would go to see my friends for a party... I was anxious about that, because I didn't want to leave the chatroom for my mistress could have come and i didn't want to miss a chance to talk to her... it was a tough choice for me. but in the end I decided so move a little... when I arrived at the appartment, after saying hello more than 15 times, I headed to my best friend Mat, smoking a cigarette at the window... he is a very clever guy, very handsome, we shared a lot of great moments and thoughts, we can count on eachother, always, whatever the circonstences... people missunderstand his humour often because he is quite sarcastic, it is a good way to hide his sensitivity, but he is a good person. anyway I meet Eglantine yesterday, a very beautiful girl working for Dior in Paris... and guess what? she does make up for her clients All day! I could for sure have asked her directly for her advices concerning my face lol but instead i did question her, saying it was for my wife... I might have asked some very specific questions at one moment, very happy to talk about girly things, so specific that she had this joke at one moment, she said: "you know that make up would fit you nicely you could be a beatiful girl!" and she was not even laughing!! oh my goddess!! when I heard this believe me i turned red and couldn't talk... i...i giggled!!! i swear!!! .. i think that she understood something but I am not sure...I was confused, but hopefully noone got this conversation! I meet a lot of nice people yesterday, people from all sorts, artists mostly, but not only. Still as nice as it was I couldn't forget my mistress, my hairless body and my little very girly panties as a reminder of my training... I was feeling entranced sometimes just thinking about that, about her control over me, about her words... and then acting a bit more girly, without thinking about it, a bit more girly, yes that's what i did, longer sentences, talking a lot, having feminine movements or poses and I was enjoying this! i really was!... problem is that i did it in front of my friend mat... and he knows me perfectly. he know my laugh, he know how i move, how i talk, why i do this or that... he was looking at me catching weird glances sometimes, like: "what the hell are you saying! or what the fuck are you doing!"... of course I was holding it back as much as possible, so he didn't see this much of my changing behaviors i suppose. I had great contact with everyone, people loved me yesterday, it was nice, i was very social, i was feeling entranced and very talkative, laughing and having a lot of fun with everyone. Something else was disturbing though...well... I had this thought at one moment... I, how to say... i felt some desire for my friend Mat, I talked to him in a more seducting tone and it felt normal!! how is that?!? what was that?!? he was ok about it, it seemed, but he is not interested in men for sure! did I just say that i was having a crush on my best friend! noway! i fought this feeling as much as i could, I was acting very manly at that point, but images of those sissies sucking cocks came to me instantly, with these words: "sissy", "perfect sissy" or "bitchdog"... oh my goddess I almost had an orgasm at that moment... it was so weird... " i am not ffeeling good Mat" i said, I'd better go. He saw I was different but he likes me a lot and knows i can be a weird person sometimes so he didn't say much, he just noded with a smile... "yeah, you sould rest a bit body, you did work a lot these days" he said. well I was feeling quite uneasy but still feeling great, I had a very exciting night, talking to women much more easily, and seducing men i think too. Am i becoming gay? I don't think so, i just love obeying my mistress orders, which is quite different.... I am hers, I obey her without thinking, it is very natural now, very easy, and it feels good and right to do so... it is so arousing knowing that my behaviour is changing for her, because she controls me entierly. I went back home running! I never do so, i needed to think clearly, I needed to be tired too when i get home, I ran 30 minutes, moving, exercising to expell the alcool i had in my blood too, i was not feeling easy being drunk. I did the right thing because has soon as i got home i slept instantly, i might run again today, i feel much better when i do so. yes i will exercise these days as well as buying some other nice red soft girly panties... headmistress squirrel's Judy