So I had like, this tooootally nasty bit of a medical shock happen to me over the weekend and was all like depressed and stuff. I got like all ~lazy~ with listening to my files and kinda just stuck them on loop before bed like there wasn't anything else to do with them.

I woke up this morning and realised like two things: 1) I'm not really even noticing the files playing when I go to bed. Either I'm like, just ~that~ tired, OR I really am all "trancing out" and stuff. 2) Since I didn't listen to them for like 12 hours straight as I had been, I was like, ~completely~ aware of all my actions this morning.

......I dont like, know how it happened, I think I mentioned somewhere around the site that I'd trained my.....sleeping mind (other word too large to remember, lol) to work all ~reflexy~ and do things while I sleep. My point is that even though I woke up thinking I was like all totally in control again and stuff, I think I've just confirmed that I DID kill of my old personality while I slept ~

I went all about my business this morning figuring that all of the stuff had kinda like, worn off, and it was all like....the second I had that thought, I started getting all hot again. I think I spent something like two hours in front of my desk with porn running, and NOTHING was happening. I don't really remember, but I think it's been like, a month since my last orgasm...

I gave up, but its been like another two hours already ~ I know what I'm doing, but it feels like my entire body is vibrating with pleasure. I'm dizzy, gosh....I think I might even be panting. The fact that I'm even posting this like, prooves that my compolsion to talk about it has returned, and the more I fight the urge to use "like" and other stuff in my speech, the more my will to stop it and type correctly like, fades and stuff.

I close my eyes and like, the mental picture-thingy I have of myself is all blond with long hair (which is actually dyed black & shoulder length) wearing a tight pink shirt and some kind of tiny bottom with a red thong clearly visable. I'm like, not caring who sees it either. I can't rest until I make that like, my reality and stuff.

I'm all feeling overly~happy~ too and don't know why.....I just looked at myself in the mirror and was just staring blankly at how wet and juicy my lips are.....they'd look like, even more awesome if they were sucking on something.....it almost feels like I'm melting.

So now I have to go ~ I want to try and play my file loop like another while or something. Absolutely like, send me any suggestions or comments, but I generally take a pass on creepy stuff. It's always toooootally awesome when someone has some kinda feedback to try.